heaven knows i'm miserable now.

[theattractions]

i've felt like absolute crap lately. i'm not anywhere close to being the man/person that i want to be. Christianity seems like it has become a joke, not just to me, but to everyone. i don't know. everything is different. i feel like for no reason at all, i have this great power to piss people off. i am no longer a 'lj friend' of someone i wanted to become friends with{fifteen minutes with you, i couldn't say no)...actually that doesn't really bother me. it's almost admirable, if it is for the reason i suspect. it just came out of nowhere is all...lets see...today was the worst day i've had in a long time. work just was horrible. i'm extremely tired. on many different levels. i don't know dude, maybe i just need sleep. maybe i should be changing things. everythings a mess. my car, my room, my finances, my life. at one time in knew the Answer. it would be easy to write this off(justify this) as me trying to find myself, but i know that's bull crap. hmmm...i don't know.
on top of everything, i have a horrible sore throat.

wow, i just realised what a pity party this is....i don't like complaining...
i'll stop now.

p.s. larissa, if you read this, i have your fifty dollars now.