TM 159 -- Goal for upcoming year.
159 - Talk about one thing you hope to do in the upcoming year that you have never done before.
Jean Grey wants to be a mother to her daughter.
She has no idea how to go about this.
The day Jean married Scott is the last time she saw Rachel. The last time she saw this Rachel, anyway. A Rachel who will remember her. It's strange. When Jean first met the girl, years ago, she just seemed like one in a line of clones and frauds. Rachel Summers. The child Jean Grey would have had in a different reality, with a man she wasn't even sure she could be with in this one. Rachel, claiming to host the Phoenix force as an honor to her dead mother, while Jean was just coming to terms with being alive, seeing the Phoenix only as the thing that had destroyed her. Jean was firm in her belief. This was not her daughter.
Jean never thought about what it was to be Rachel. Maybe she couldn't let herself. She was working too hard at holding the pieces of herself together.
Or maybe that was just another excuse.
By the day of the wedding, they had made a tentative peace. Jean remembers hugging Rachel absently on the way to the limousine, promising to make up for lost time while her mind was already on other things -- getting out of these shoes, a honeymoon in St. Bart's, some time alone with the man she loved. Be careful what you wish for; she and Scott took a twelve-year detour into the future. When they came back, Rachel was gone.
Now Jean is alive, and Rachel is alive. There are no more excuses. Their separation has outlived Jean's marriage; Rachel is the only family Jean Grey has left on this earth.
Maybe Cable counts? She's not going to think about whether Cable counts. She already has a headache, and trying to figure out whether Nathan's predilection toward blowing things up for peace is somehow traceable to her. She has occasionally wondered if Scott's first wife might have had a one-night-stand with Magneto nine months before the boy's birth. Jean is not convinced that it would have been either out of character for the woman, or the strangest thing she has ever heard, but she is pretty sure that there is no tactful way to raise the question with Scott. In any case -- Nathan calls Jean "mother," but he's a grown man. He doesn't need her.
Rachel is an adult, too, of course. Rationally, Jean knows this. She must be about the age Jean was when she first heard the name "Phoenix." Maybe older than Jean herself was when they first met. But when Jean thinks of Rachel, she can't help remembering a girl she could have been a mother to, but wouldn't.
There are always second chances. If anyone has reason to know this, Jean does. But she also knows that, just because you have another chance, that doesn't mean it will go any better. Not unless you do something about it.
Now. If she only knew what to do.
Muse: Jean Grey
Fandom: X-men comicx
Word count: 505
Comments to main journal.
Jean Grey wants to be a mother to her daughter.
She has no idea how to go about this.
The day Jean married Scott is the last time she saw Rachel. The last time she saw this Rachel, anyway. A Rachel who will remember her. It's strange. When Jean first met the girl, years ago, she just seemed like one in a line of clones and frauds. Rachel Summers. The child Jean Grey would have had in a different reality, with a man she wasn't even sure she could be with in this one. Rachel, claiming to host the Phoenix force as an honor to her dead mother, while Jean was just coming to terms with being alive, seeing the Phoenix only as the thing that had destroyed her. Jean was firm in her belief. This was not her daughter.
Jean never thought about what it was to be Rachel. Maybe she couldn't let herself. She was working too hard at holding the pieces of herself together.
Or maybe that was just another excuse.
By the day of the wedding, they had made a tentative peace. Jean remembers hugging Rachel absently on the way to the limousine, promising to make up for lost time while her mind was already on other things -- getting out of these shoes, a honeymoon in St. Bart's, some time alone with the man she loved. Be careful what you wish for; she and Scott took a twelve-year detour into the future. When they came back, Rachel was gone.
Now Jean is alive, and Rachel is alive. There are no more excuses. Their separation has outlived Jean's marriage; Rachel is the only family Jean Grey has left on this earth.
Maybe Cable counts? She's not going to think about whether Cable counts. She already has a headache, and trying to figure out whether Nathan's predilection toward blowing things up for peace is somehow traceable to her. She has occasionally wondered if Scott's first wife might have had a one-night-stand with Magneto nine months before the boy's birth. Jean is not convinced that it would have been either out of character for the woman, or the strangest thing she has ever heard, but she is pretty sure that there is no tactful way to raise the question with Scott. In any case -- Nathan calls Jean "mother," but he's a grown man. He doesn't need her.
Rachel is an adult, too, of course. Rationally, Jean knows this. She must be about the age Jean was when she first heard the name "Phoenix." Maybe older than Jean herself was when they first met. But when Jean thinks of Rachel, she can't help remembering a girl she could have been a mother to, but wouldn't.
There are always second chances. If anyone has reason to know this, Jean does. But she also knows that, just because you have another chance, that doesn't mean it will go any better. Not unless you do something about it.
Now. If she only knew what to do.
Muse: Jean Grey
Fandom: X-men comicx
Word count: 505
Comments to main journal.