(no subject)
Sometimes I remember how much I love orchestras. Tonight's Rhode Island Philharmonic concert reminded me how important music is to me, and how much I want it to be the rest of my life. I don't ever want to stop. It reminds me to practice, but I like that. I don't ever want to stop practicing. The concert was good; it wasn't as good as the BSO concert a couple weeks ago, but nothing could be. But even a decent orchestra, not a great one, is so amazing to hear.
Orchestra concerts used to mean long nights of sitting in big dark auditoriums, waiting for them to be over, or waiting for the one little theme I knew. Now, I go with open ears, hearing only music I don't know, and loving listening to every second of it, sometimes thinking about little technical details, sometimes thinking about the acoustics of the hall, sometimes thinking about the piece as a whole, sometimes getting excited for an English Horn solo I've played, sometimes cringing at intonation and thinking I couldn't do any better, sometimes wishing that I were playing up there on the stage. It's such a wonderful experience! I can't wait for my real life to begin, playing the oboe every day, having no obligations other than to practice, which is no obligation at all.
I love my oboe! I can't escape this love I have for it when I play. I sometimes hate reeds, and everything about them, but I love so much the feeling of making music. It's unbelievable, and it's completely unexplainable. There is no way to use words in describing it.
I am glad that I have decided that music will be my career. I hate that when I say that, people make comments, people ask whether I know that musicians don't make money, whether I know how hard it's going to be. YES, i know. I know all too well. But I can't do anything else. It's passion, it's love, and if they don't have it, then I can't explain it. I am going to make music my career. I am going to go to conservatory, and I'm going to become the best oboist I can be. There's no question in my mind. It's everything I want in the world right now.
I have another love, yes, and she's different. She knows that my love for the oboe is different.
This semester is so busy. I can't wait for next semester, when I'll be taking only three classes and concentrating more on the oboe. I want to perform a recital at the end of the semester. Maybe I'll do that. But before all that happens, I am going to China and Paris, and I am finishing my five classes!
AAAAAAAH!
Time to write my French paper. This Saturday night is an interesting one, but I like it.
Orchestra concerts used to mean long nights of sitting in big dark auditoriums, waiting for them to be over, or waiting for the one little theme I knew. Now, I go with open ears, hearing only music I don't know, and loving listening to every second of it, sometimes thinking about little technical details, sometimes thinking about the acoustics of the hall, sometimes thinking about the piece as a whole, sometimes getting excited for an English Horn solo I've played, sometimes cringing at intonation and thinking I couldn't do any better, sometimes wishing that I were playing up there on the stage. It's such a wonderful experience! I can't wait for my real life to begin, playing the oboe every day, having no obligations other than to practice, which is no obligation at all.
I love my oboe! I can't escape this love I have for it when I play. I sometimes hate reeds, and everything about them, but I love so much the feeling of making music. It's unbelievable, and it's completely unexplainable. There is no way to use words in describing it.
I am glad that I have decided that music will be my career. I hate that when I say that, people make comments, people ask whether I know that musicians don't make money, whether I know how hard it's going to be. YES, i know. I know all too well. But I can't do anything else. It's passion, it's love, and if they don't have it, then I can't explain it. I am going to make music my career. I am going to go to conservatory, and I'm going to become the best oboist I can be. There's no question in my mind. It's everything I want in the world right now.
I have another love, yes, and she's different. She knows that my love for the oboe is different.
This semester is so busy. I can't wait for next semester, when I'll be taking only three classes and concentrating more on the oboe. I want to perform a recital at the end of the semester. Maybe I'll do that. But before all that happens, I am going to China and Paris, and I am finishing my five classes!
AAAAAAAH!
Time to write my French paper. This Saturday night is an interesting one, but I like it.