Self-check.
Time is going by so fast. It blows my mind.
It's October 20th already. I mean, when did that happen?
Thursday's are my favorite day.
Thursday's are all to myself.
Every Thursday I have the best ego boost ever - it's a little thing I like to call Voice Lessons.
Wendy Bloom is the most amazing teacher, and I'd recommend her to anyone interested in taking private lessons.
I've been with her for a little less than a year and it's mind blowing how much my voice has grown.
We started belting a couple of weeks ago, and the sound that comes out of me is just shocking. It's so powerful and strong. We do these exercises with this belting technique, and mixing technique, and go up the scale, and last week and this week I got up to a high B-flat, no problem, sounds amazing. I realize that doesn't mean anything to non-music people, but it's pretty freaking awesome.
I simply love voice lessons - they're one of the best parts of my weeks.
Last night my friend Ryan came over and helped me paint my living room blue.
It was tons of fun. God, we were putting the first coat on and I kept saying "this better get darker or else I'm going to be sad" and then I exclaimed, "I mean, this wall just screams 'It's a Boy!'" haha.
But it did darken up, and I love it. I still need to finish the trim (and the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen) but once I'm done it's going to be pretty.
Thank you so much Ryan, for helping. It means a lot to me, to have a friend who actually wants to come over and help me paint my place.
My Dad and I went to the IM building tonight - just to look around (I wanted to feel comfortable enough to go by myself to the gym). As much as I try to fight it I guess I still am pretty insecure.
So we thoroughly checked out the place and I officially feel confident enough to go by myself. I'll probably be spending most of my time doing Flys and Ellipticals. Maybe some Quads... but yeah, oh and the pool. Can't forget the pool. I definitely need to update my iPod and charge it, no WAY am I going to the gym without my own music. God, I'd really be self conscious if I did that.
--
My self consciousness is me reverting back to bad habits.
It's like in voice - when I'm in an audition setting, and I'm nervous and I'm thinking about a million things I'll revert back to bad habits and the song will sound terrible.
After all the practice and lessons and all the times I've sung the piece correctly, as soon as I start to worry about even the tiniest thing I'll belt the song out incorrectly (especially when it's supposed to be in head-voice).
As soon as I step outside my comfort zone I get all self conscious. At the gym tonight, just walking around in street clothes - every guy we walked passed looked up at me and even watched me for a bit. Who knows what they were thinking, they could have been thinking that I was attractive. But I felt so scrutinized.
What I've been practicing (in my daily life as a waitress) is feeling comfortable, knowing I have purpose in that specific place and that I don't care what others think of me.
They are there to eat, and I am there to serve them.
I am confident in my serving abilities. I'm mostly confident in my personality. Strangers have complimented me as being charismatic, and delightful.
But if I'm just walking down the street aimlessly and someone looks at me, I'll blush, duck my head, swipe back the stray hair that's most likely fallen over my cheek, and wonder what they're thinking of me, like it matters.
I just need to practice more.
1. I need to not care what others think of me. (that's the biggest thing)
2. I need to be confident, that I know who I am and what I'm doing at all times.
I understand that it's okay if I don't know what I'm doing at all times. Spontanaity is a huge part of being happy and not getting bogged down with repetativeness. But there's a difference between being confident in knowing what I'm doing and knowing what I'm doing. I can be confident that I'm doing something totally random and pointless, as long as I know that it's random and pointless. The second that I question what it is that I'm doing is the moment of weakness where I start to wonder if someone is going to make fun of me for what I'm doing.
This is huge that I've just realized this (it may have been obvious to you, you might have even said something like this to me before, but for me to realize this now and write it out like this and know what it is I need to do - that's huge).
--
On a lighter note - Grey's Anatomy made me sad tonight. I just want Meredith to be happy, why can't they let her be happy!?
Alright, it's past my bedtime.
Ciao,
Katie
It's October 20th already. I mean, when did that happen?
Thursday's are my favorite day.
Thursday's are all to myself.
Every Thursday I have the best ego boost ever - it's a little thing I like to call Voice Lessons.
Wendy Bloom is the most amazing teacher, and I'd recommend her to anyone interested in taking private lessons.
I've been with her for a little less than a year and it's mind blowing how much my voice has grown.
We started belting a couple of weeks ago, and the sound that comes out of me is just shocking. It's so powerful and strong. We do these exercises with this belting technique, and mixing technique, and go up the scale, and last week and this week I got up to a high B-flat, no problem, sounds amazing. I realize that doesn't mean anything to non-music people, but it's pretty freaking awesome.
I simply love voice lessons - they're one of the best parts of my weeks.
Last night my friend Ryan came over and helped me paint my living room blue.
It was tons of fun. God, we were putting the first coat on and I kept saying "this better get darker or else I'm going to be sad" and then I exclaimed, "I mean, this wall just screams 'It's a Boy!'" haha.
But it did darken up, and I love it. I still need to finish the trim (and the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen) but once I'm done it's going to be pretty.
Thank you so much Ryan, for helping. It means a lot to me, to have a friend who actually wants to come over and help me paint my place.
My Dad and I went to the IM building tonight - just to look around (I wanted to feel comfortable enough to go by myself to the gym). As much as I try to fight it I guess I still am pretty insecure.
So we thoroughly checked out the place and I officially feel confident enough to go by myself. I'll probably be spending most of my time doing Flys and Ellipticals. Maybe some Quads... but yeah, oh and the pool. Can't forget the pool. I definitely need to update my iPod and charge it, no WAY am I going to the gym without my own music. God, I'd really be self conscious if I did that.
--
My self consciousness is me reverting back to bad habits.
It's like in voice - when I'm in an audition setting, and I'm nervous and I'm thinking about a million things I'll revert back to bad habits and the song will sound terrible.
After all the practice and lessons and all the times I've sung the piece correctly, as soon as I start to worry about even the tiniest thing I'll belt the song out incorrectly (especially when it's supposed to be in head-voice).
As soon as I step outside my comfort zone I get all self conscious. At the gym tonight, just walking around in street clothes - every guy we walked passed looked up at me and even watched me for a bit. Who knows what they were thinking, they could have been thinking that I was attractive. But I felt so scrutinized.
What I've been practicing (in my daily life as a waitress) is feeling comfortable, knowing I have purpose in that specific place and that I don't care what others think of me.
They are there to eat, and I am there to serve them.
I am confident in my serving abilities. I'm mostly confident in my personality. Strangers have complimented me as being charismatic, and delightful.
But if I'm just walking down the street aimlessly and someone looks at me, I'll blush, duck my head, swipe back the stray hair that's most likely fallen over my cheek, and wonder what they're thinking of me, like it matters.
I just need to practice more.
1. I need to not care what others think of me. (that's the biggest thing)
2. I need to be confident, that I know who I am and what I'm doing at all times.
I understand that it's okay if I don't know what I'm doing at all times. Spontanaity is a huge part of being happy and not getting bogged down with repetativeness. But there's a difference between being confident in knowing what I'm doing and knowing what I'm doing. I can be confident that I'm doing something totally random and pointless, as long as I know that it's random and pointless. The second that I question what it is that I'm doing is the moment of weakness where I start to wonder if someone is going to make fun of me for what I'm doing.
This is huge that I've just realized this (it may have been obvious to you, you might have even said something like this to me before, but for me to realize this now and write it out like this and know what it is I need to do - that's huge).
--
On a lighter note - Grey's Anatomy made me sad tonight. I just want Meredith to be happy, why can't they let her be happy!?
Alright, it's past my bedtime.
Ciao,
Katie