(no subject)
today is another one of those days where i have nothing to say but too many words inside me. so unfortunately, those of you who actually care have to listen to me ramble. and maybe, ill actually get to a point.
im sick of class always being cancelled. i know that it doesnt sound much like me to *not* want time off during the day to lay around and do nothing, but i paid a lot of money to go back to school. im sick to death of showing up for class and finding out that my teachers, godblessum, have better things to do than teach. i dont know if its a problem they have in bigger cities, but a teacher cancelled class today to go HUNTING. now he had to know that he was going hunting. (i mean, thats something that gets planned in advance. you have to get a tag and get some drunk buddies to go with you.) so why didnt he tell us on friday not to bother showing up? i dont understand. i got up and made myself cute to go to school and find out class was cancelled. that sucks.
work still bites, i have the dumbest job EVER. i sit all night in a cold stuffy little room and answer the phone. i take orders for food and send drivers out to get these orders. but im here every night from 5-9 ALONE and bored with nothing to do. i am at the whim of "the customer." if there are no customers, which is often the case, i have nothing to do. bored and alone, this is just how i wanted to spend the evenings of my mid-20s.
home is home, i love it there. its stressful and dangerous and full of wonderful little games that i truly enjoy playing. i love my home and my boys and the life we live there. im so loved when i walk in the door i sometimes have to catch my breath at the front door. its nerve-racking but i love it. i always wanted to be a juggler and together my boys make just about the perfect man. how friggin great is that? on one hand i have a sweet but overly sensitive, kind-of-inept man who doesnt like eat *anything* i cook and wont take care of my physical (to say nothing of sexual) needs at all, but wants me to be happy and safe. on the other hand i have an incredibly masculine, smart, willful, "tough guy" who will eat anything i put in front of him and then rub my feet at the end of the night but wants to have things his way. i love them both in different ways. seperate but equal. neither of them has any say as to what i do with my life (or my body), tho they both wish they did (by their own admissions). they put up with a lot from me and i love them for it. they are my boys and i will take care of them when they are broke or sick and i will love them until it breaks my heart.
so thats pretty much my life. i wonder what it is that i really want to say....
i know john almost kissed a girl this weekend... but i dont think thats it... mom had an interview today for a job she really really wants... no thats not it either... i wonder whats going on in my head... maybe i should check in and see where i am.
im sick of class always being cancelled. i know that it doesnt sound much like me to *not* want time off during the day to lay around and do nothing, but i paid a lot of money to go back to school. im sick to death of showing up for class and finding out that my teachers, godblessum, have better things to do than teach. i dont know if its a problem they have in bigger cities, but a teacher cancelled class today to go HUNTING. now he had to know that he was going hunting. (i mean, thats something that gets planned in advance. you have to get a tag and get some drunk buddies to go with you.) so why didnt he tell us on friday not to bother showing up? i dont understand. i got up and made myself cute to go to school and find out class was cancelled. that sucks.
work still bites, i have the dumbest job EVER. i sit all night in a cold stuffy little room and answer the phone. i take orders for food and send drivers out to get these orders. but im here every night from 5-9 ALONE and bored with nothing to do. i am at the whim of "the customer." if there are no customers, which is often the case, i have nothing to do. bored and alone, this is just how i wanted to spend the evenings of my mid-20s.
home is home, i love it there. its stressful and dangerous and full of wonderful little games that i truly enjoy playing. i love my home and my boys and the life we live there. im so loved when i walk in the door i sometimes have to catch my breath at the front door. its nerve-racking but i love it. i always wanted to be a juggler and together my boys make just about the perfect man. how friggin great is that? on one hand i have a sweet but overly sensitive, kind-of-inept man who doesnt like eat *anything* i cook and wont take care of my physical (to say nothing of sexual) needs at all, but wants me to be happy and safe. on the other hand i have an incredibly masculine, smart, willful, "tough guy" who will eat anything i put in front of him and then rub my feet at the end of the night but wants to have things his way. i love them both in different ways. seperate but equal. neither of them has any say as to what i do with my life (or my body), tho they both wish they did (by their own admissions). they put up with a lot from me and i love them for it. they are my boys and i will take care of them when they are broke or sick and i will love them until it breaks my heart.
so thats pretty much my life. i wonder what it is that i really want to say....
i know john almost kissed a girl this weekend... but i dont think thats it... mom had an interview today for a job she really really wants... no thats not it either... i wonder whats going on in my head... maybe i should check in and see where i am.