Fic: L'homme Vaudou (8/8)
Rain dripped from scattered storms, making the New York City streets glisten like steel, reflecting the dark clouds in the gray sky. The temperature was chilly, which made everything else even gloomier. The storms had washed the leaves from the trees, leaving the stark branches looking skeletal against the wet brownstones.
Nobody was out unless they had to be. The wind was picking up that chill that happens when fall slides into winter and your bones brace against the cold.
Jensen was one of the unlucky few who had to be out in theunpleasant weather. He had a client that insisted on meeting in person to get the results of the affair she was convinced her husband was having. She had deflated when he’d told her that her husband was learning to waltz so he could surprise her on their 50th wedding anniversary. Quietly, she’d given him the check and left the restaurant. After she’d gone, he’d ordered a bowl of beef stew and a beer.
His phone rang as he was eating. Looking at the caller ID, he saw it was Jared. He clicked the ignore button and put the phone back into his pocket. Sighing, he finished his beer, threw some money on the table and headed outside. Tightening the scarf around his neck, he buttoned his coat and started walking home.
As the wind blew the leaves in a swirling pattern around his feet, he thought about Jared. It was his usual behavior. Get a call, ignore it, and think about Jared. Jensen hadn’t spoken to him since he left New Orleans. It hurt too much to even consider communicating with Jared in any way. He was ignoring Jared’s texts and calls. At first they were multiple times a day, then they dropped down to every other day. Now it was maybe once a week.
He had the feeling that Jared was using some sort of locating spell to keep tabs on him. He wouldn’t put it past him. Frankly he didn’t care. It’s not like Jensen was going anywhere. It was work and home with the occasional outing with friends. But those were few and far between, too.
Like tonight. Carlos had been nagging him to come over and have dinner, but Jensen always found a way to beg off. So here he was, walking home in the cold.
His apartment was no better in the cheer department. The greys and blues that he had liked so well, that Mac had helped him initially pick out, were reflective of his mood--dark and shadowed. The only things that made the darkness fade was the research into magic that he found himself doing.
He let himself in with his key, kicked off his shoes and hung up his coat and scarf. Another drink, this time whiskey, and he sat on his couch with the TV volume down low.
Mac’s urn was on the bookcase off to the side. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to scatter her ashes yet. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to do it here in New York. It just didn’t seem right. She needed to be back in New Orleans, but there was no way he was going back.
Jensen sighed and finished his whiskey. Tomorrow was another day. He headed to his bedroom and got ready for bed. If he was lucky, maybe he wouldn’t dream tonight.
“Jensen! It’s about damn time.” Carlos opened the door with a smile on his face. Jensen had finally given in and said yes to dinner at the Mendoza house. “Come in, come in.”
Jensen smiled as he entered. Carlos’ house was always bustling. His wife, their kids, his Abuela - all seemed to be perpetually in motion. He handed Carlos a bottle of his favorite tequila. “Anything I can do to help?”
“Nope, just sit with me while we watch the kids. You know we can’t step foot in the kitchen while the ladies are cooking.”
“I wouldn’t even risk it,” Jensen replied with a smile. He’d made the mistake once about helping in the kitchen and gotten chased out with a wooden cooking spoon.
They spent a nice half hour watching Carlo’s infant daughter scoot across the floor trying to chase the cat and talking about how the New York Jets were doing this season.
And of course the dinner was perfect. Jensen ate until he was so full he couldn’t move. He complimented Carlos’ wife Sophia on the meal and was sent back into the living room with a cup of Café de Olia and a tequila.
He sipped the coffee and enjoyed the rich, earthy flavor. No one made it quite like Sophia and Jensen remembered when Carlos would bring him thermosfulls of it when they were partners. He smiled sadly to himself that those days were in the past.
“Memories, si?” Jensen was startled when Carlos’ Abuela spoke. She sat down next to him and took a sip of her tequila. “They remind us of happier days.”
“Yeah, they do.” He smiled down at the petite woman. He always liked her sense of humor. “Just thinking about when we’d have this coffee on stakeouts.”
She chuckled. “Carlos always made sure he brought some for you.” Jensen saw her tilt her head and regard him in an unusual way. She took the mug from his hand and placed it on the coffee table and took his hands between hers. “You miss him.”
“Who, Carlos?” Jensen was confused. He saw Carlos almost every day.
“No. Your young man from the South.” She spoke matter of factly. “The one you met when you looked for your sister. With the tattoo of the Loa. You miss him.”
Jensen was shocked at the abrupt change of topic. He’d not mentioned Jared to Carlos so there was no way his Abuela would have heard about it.
“Umm…” He started, but she waved him silent.
“It is in your soul. The longing.” She patted his chest. “Your heart is sad. You miss him,” she said a third time.
Jensen could only stare at her in disbelief. Her words hit deep. “It’s complicated.”
She shushed him. “Only if you make it so. Here you are grey.” She motioned around the room. “There….there you are shining.”
Jensen thought about her words and realized she was right. Everything here in New York was grey for him. New Orleans--and Jared--offered a spark, a brightness that he’d been missing.
“Your Mackenzie wants you to be happy.” Abuela continued. “She says you have a choice. To be safe and boring or to reach for love, with all of its risk and its joy.”
The thought of Mackenzie brought tears to his eyes. He could hear her saying that. Jensen, don’t be boring…be happy!. He wiped his eyes and smiled at the old woman. “So what do you think I should do?” He asked.
She grinned cheekily at him. “Your man is beautiful, yes?” Jensen nodded.
“He is sexy?” Jensen blushed and laughed.
“Yes, very.”
“Then what is the question?” She rose and kissed him on the cheek. “He misses you too.” She headed into the kitchen calling out in Mexican to Sophia asking if the flan was ready.
An hour later Jensen was putting his coat on to leave. Carlos walked him to the door. “Hey, man, it was good to see you. We need to do this more often.”
“Yeah, sounds like a plan.” Jensen buttoned up his coat and wrapped his scarf around his neck. “So…um…I have a question.”
“Shoot.” Carlos leaned against the door frame.
“Your Abuela…” he began and Carlos groaned.
“Oh god, what did she do now?”
“She didn’t do anything,” Jensen replied. “It’s what she said.”
Carlos smirked. “Freaked you out, did she?”
“Yeah. Talked to me about something I haven’t told anyone about.”
Carlos chuckled. “Oh yeah, my Abuela is freaky. Back in our village in Mexico they called her ‘La Bruja Loca’. You know, ‘Crazy Witch’. Can’t say they were wrong. I’ve seen her do some really wild shit. Magic stuff, you know?”
“You believe in that?” Jensen asked.
“Can’t help not to,” Carlos replied. “She’s almost always right. Whatever she said to you, you should take her advice. You’ll be better off in the long run.”
“Huh.” Jensen considered Carlos’ words as he said goodbye and headed home.
Once he was comfortable back in his apartment, he kept thinking of Jared and what Carlos’ Abuela had said to him. As he mulled it over, he had an overwhelming desire to talk to Jared. To see what he was doing.
Chalking it up to his conversation from earlier, Jensen pushed it down and went to make himself some Irish hot chocolate.
Sipping his drink, Jensen sat down on the couch. He was slowly getting comfortable and sleepy as the thoughts of Jared welled up again, this time even more intense.
Jensen was not sure what prompted him to do it, but he looked up scrying on his phone and found a scrying spell that was used with candles. He got up, gathered several candles and placed them on the coffee table. After lighting them, he gazed into them and repeated the simple words over and over like a mantra.
The flames unfocused as he was looking into them. The blurred fire combined to a ghostly image. It was Jared. He was lying on the couch in his living room with the lights off, candles providing the only illumination. The glow gave his skin a beautiful sheen, emphasizing the planes of his cheeks. He was shirtless, his torso gleaming. He was beautiful and Jensen couldn’t look away.
All the images from New Orleans flooded back. Jared laughing, touching him, kissing him, their skin sliding against each other as they fucked. Magic surrounding them, with Jared full of power, his eyes glowing. Jared wanting him.
Jensen shook his head and the images disappeared, leaving only the candles standing on Jensen’s coffee table. Jensen sighed. The spell may be broken, but it confirmed the words that he’d heard tonight. He needed to go back to New Orleans.
“Okay, remember, assignments are due Monday and don’t forget to read chapters five and six.” Jared’s voice rang out in the auditorium. “I’ll have reduced office hours next week so add that to your calendars. Have a good day.”
Jensen watched from the shadows at the top of the classroom as students gathered their notebooks and began to leave.
Jared looked wonderful. Dressed in a dark pair of Jeans, a Henley, and a blazer, he was the epitome of associate professor. A few students stopped by his podium to ask questions and Jared answered them with a smile and hand gestures.
Soon the room was empty and Jared was packing up his briefcase. Jensen turned to go when Jared spoke. “I can see you up there, Jensen. The room isn’t as dark as you think it is.”
Blushing, Jensen turned back to see Jared looking up at him with a small smile. Knowing he was caught, he started down the steps. “Jared.”
“Jensen.” Jared replied, his hand on his briefcase.
“How are you?” Jensen didn’t know what else to say. I missed you. I still want you. I think I love you.. They all were so electrifying.
“Do you really want to know?” Jared picked up his briefcase and started out the door, gesturing for Jensen to follow him.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Jensen retorted. “Sorry, sorry, that wasn’t nice. Yes, I really want to know how you’re doing.”
“Well, I could be a bastard and say you could have learned way earlier if you had just picked up your phone or read a text, but I don’t want to rehash all that.” Jared stopped in the hallway. “So I’m just going to cut to the chase. I’m well and I miss you.”
Jensen’s heart swelled. “I miss you too. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls or texts. I just had a lot to think about.”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t hold it against you.” Jared replied. “Why are you here, Jensen?”
Jensen took a deep breath. “I brought Mackenzie back. I decided she needed to be part of New Orleans. I haven’t set up a time yet, but I plan on contacting the University to see if I can hold a memorial service here.”
“That would be nice. I know her friends would like it,” Jared said. “You know they set up a scholarship in Mackenzie’s name to honor her.”
“I didn’t. That’s wonderful. Thank you.” They started to walk again, silently this time. “Jared, there’s something else. I’m…I’m not happy in New York. Not any more.”
“Okay…and?” Jared moved closer to Jensen as they walked and Jensen could feel the heat that Jared was always radiating off him.
“And I’m taking a leap of faith here, but I want for us to, I don’t know, be together.”
Jared stopped walking and Jense felt his gaze cut through him.
“I still practice magic, Jensen. Some kinds you don’t like. I’m not going to stop.” Jared sounded firm and Jensen knew he had to convince him that that wasn’t going to be a deal breaker again.
“I know. And I can’t guarantee that I’ll like it right off the bat. But I’ve been reading and thinking and I’d rather deal with it in person than not deal with it at all. Plus,” he said with a smile. “I’ve kind of been practicing myself a little bit.”
“Oh, really?” Jensen saw Jared grin and raise an eyebrow. “You have?”
“Yeah. Not big things. Just some kitchen witchery as you’d call it and some scrying.” Jensen grinned back. “And I kind of actually like it. Makes me feel peaceful.”
“So you willing to share what you’ve learned?” Jared asked.
“How about I tell you over a cup of coffee,” Jensen replied. He smiled at Jared, who smiled back. He held out his hand to Jared who took it and squeezed it.
Slowly they walked towards the café. Who knew where it might lead, but it was a start.
