Returning to Your Past
There's this saying I've heard probably a hundred times, "there's nothing like returning to place that hasn't changed to see which ways you yourself have alter." To some this may be true for others not so much. I let my friend I guess you could say talk me into going to a superbowl party. It was at a church I use to attend when I was younger, and hadn't been too in years. It was a guy friend who I really liked and wanted to find out if he liked me. I was scared and decided not to go, the people there had never liked me and I assumed it would be the same. I was told it wouldn't be the same and I would love it there. A couple hours before the party I decided to go, I mean I never get invited anywhere, to parties or even just to hang with friends. I decided to get over my fears of large groups of people (I am a actress and crowds are fine but a group of people I have to be social with scares me) and my previous best friend's mother who never liked me and the group of girls who didn't like me and just go.
I walked in and noticed all the new paint and stuff, everything seemed smaller than when I was younger. I thought maybe the saying would be true and nothing would be the same as it once had. I WAS WRONG OF COURSE! As soon as I neared the room, a paster greeted me and then i heard my name and one of the girls say something horrible about me. The guy who invited me didn't care and barely noticed me. I sat there and stared and nothing had changed. Sure there were a few nebies but everything else was the same. I missed my youth group and just wanted to go home but I couldn't just leave.That would be like walking in and then turning around and leaving. All my fears came back and also another memory. I stayed for a hour and then left, knowing that the boy no longer liked me and I had embarssed myself in front of a entire group of people. Not to mention on the way home a man knocked on my window at a stop sign and said PLEASE BE MORE CAREFUL I ALMOST HIT YOU!! I nodded and let it go, that's when the ters kinda hit. There was no actual crying but that prick right before u do and the face tightening.
The saying may be true for some but for other not so much. I think returning to things from your past is great, other times it's not. People will always think the same thing of you. Just because a place has changed doesn't mean the people have. If you get that gut feeling just go with it, never walk into the lion den without a chair. Usually I don't tell stories and probably won't a whole lot. It's just as high school comes to a end and people think about their childhood and have those moments where they wish they could relive things, it's not always that great. I wish I could change things but I can't. I tried for a moment in time to look back instead of forward and it smacked me in the face. Sometimes it's just good to let go.
I walked in and noticed all the new paint and stuff, everything seemed smaller than when I was younger. I thought maybe the saying would be true and nothing would be the same as it once had. I WAS WRONG OF COURSE! As soon as I neared the room, a paster greeted me and then i heard my name and one of the girls say something horrible about me. The guy who invited me didn't care and barely noticed me. I sat there and stared and nothing had changed. Sure there were a few nebies but everything else was the same. I missed my youth group and just wanted to go home but I couldn't just leave.That would be like walking in and then turning around and leaving. All my fears came back and also another memory. I stayed for a hour and then left, knowing that the boy no longer liked me and I had embarssed myself in front of a entire group of people. Not to mention on the way home a man knocked on my window at a stop sign and said PLEASE BE MORE CAREFUL I ALMOST HIT YOU!! I nodded and let it go, that's when the ters kinda hit. There was no actual crying but that prick right before u do and the face tightening.
The saying may be true for some but for other not so much. I think returning to things from your past is great, other times it's not. People will always think the same thing of you. Just because a place has changed doesn't mean the people have. If you get that gut feeling just go with it, never walk into the lion den without a chair. Usually I don't tell stories and probably won't a whole lot. It's just as high school comes to a end and people think about their childhood and have those moments where they wish they could relive things, it's not always that great. I wish I could change things but I can't. I tried for a moment in time to look back instead of forward and it smacked me in the face. Sometimes it's just good to let go.