Let's Fail!!
So as first semester comes to a close and Christmas is near I am beginning to realize the fantasy world I am living in needs to come to a end. I NEED to start applying to colleges, I NEED to get a job and my grades NEED to improve. Today was a wake up call and to be honest like most I didn't like it. Why do people, parents and teachers wait until the last minute to tell you that you need saving. Everyone talks about how you should just know and the answer is YOU DON'T!! i thought I was doing this was the semster I would dominate, only to discover that I need saving. Lots happens in High and I can now see why many people drop out and never go back, it's because no one told them to grab the rope and start climbing to save yourself. I still have the chance, I can pull off maybe a B in every class at least. I see myself sinking and am now gme planning a way to pull out. I will probably lose my mentorship and not be asked to return next semester and will probably be heartbroken but now I am beginning to realize maybe I'm not talented in what I thought I was talented in. It just doesn't seem fair, I dont et how people can stand around and watch you fail in life and not do anything.
In High School this seems to be the worst time to let someone fall, People are always telling us that this is the start, this is senior year, begin making something of yourself. The truth is it's hard when you realize all you have is yourself. I wonder where I will be next year and where I will be in life. As I look around I can't help but shake my fist and wonder how this happened. I am not failing horribly bad but I could have done better. It's not the end of high school/ first semester yet i've still got time.
The other thing I think about is friends and family cause without them I would be nowhere, in fact that is when I know i've hit bottom. If any younger readers are out there I should warn you now that senior year is hard, especially with your friends. I realize now that next year half of them will be gone and I might never see them again and i know this is dramatic but it's true.You watch all your friends go off and make something of themselves and you grow apart and you think the time I need them most their gone. Well get use to it because that's the way it is. ONe of my best friends when I told her I might be moving two states away and I asked what the future held just said "Idk we'll keep in touch I'll call you" but let's be honest it's not the same thing. My other friend I barely see now and she's almost out the door, she got her dream college and although I'm happy for her I can't help but cry because I know there's a chance we won't be friends much longer. My one friend I never expected I can see being my friend since we wanna go to the came place next year and my last bestie I can't ever imagine losing her. It's like everyone is so excited to leave and to go far away and I wonder if they ever think about the people they leave behind.
God was nice enough to grant me my wish of seeing a friend again I never thought would return, even though he hurt my feelings and basically lied to me, I would send that email all over again because it taught me to let go. That's the thing about high school it lasts forever and then in a moment it's time to let go. Right now is that moment i think for everyone, we keep trying to hang on and we just can't anymore. You have to let people go and let them be themselves.
So if I'm gonna fail I'm ready because that's life, I'm going to college next year, I will if i have to bid my friends goodbye, I will let theatre go and find something else and I will get published. I know nit seems sad and this is a weird post but It's the truth about high school. It's fun at first and the last year is life.
In High School this seems to be the worst time to let someone fall, People are always telling us that this is the start, this is senior year, begin making something of yourself. The truth is it's hard when you realize all you have is yourself. I wonder where I will be next year and where I will be in life. As I look around I can't help but shake my fist and wonder how this happened. I am not failing horribly bad but I could have done better. It's not the end of high school/ first semester yet i've still got time.
The other thing I think about is friends and family cause without them I would be nowhere, in fact that is when I know i've hit bottom. If any younger readers are out there I should warn you now that senior year is hard, especially with your friends. I realize now that next year half of them will be gone and I might never see them again and i know this is dramatic but it's true.You watch all your friends go off and make something of themselves and you grow apart and you think the time I need them most their gone. Well get use to it because that's the way it is. ONe of my best friends when I told her I might be moving two states away and I asked what the future held just said "Idk we'll keep in touch I'll call you" but let's be honest it's not the same thing. My other friend I barely see now and she's almost out the door, she got her dream college and although I'm happy for her I can't help but cry because I know there's a chance we won't be friends much longer. My one friend I never expected I can see being my friend since we wanna go to the came place next year and my last bestie I can't ever imagine losing her. It's like everyone is so excited to leave and to go far away and I wonder if they ever think about the people they leave behind.
God was nice enough to grant me my wish of seeing a friend again I never thought would return, even though he hurt my feelings and basically lied to me, I would send that email all over again because it taught me to let go. That's the thing about high school it lasts forever and then in a moment it's time to let go. Right now is that moment i think for everyone, we keep trying to hang on and we just can't anymore. You have to let people go and let them be themselves.
So if I'm gonna fail I'm ready because that's life, I'm going to college next year, I will if i have to bid my friends goodbye, I will let theatre go and find something else and I will get published. I know nit seems sad and this is a weird post but It's the truth about high school. It's fun at first and the last year is life.