(no subject)
I guess this is sort of a list of "resolutions," but since I don't make resolutions, it's more of things I'd like to focus on to make myself a better person and be less stressed.
1. Joy in my heart.
2. Conquering my shyness. This includes asking people to do thing with me, answering my phone when people call, calling people, approaching people that seem interesting and trying to get to know them, making new friends, and being more social in my house.
3. Asking for help AS SOON AS I realize I need it. Or might need it. Not letting things snowball to the point where I have no clue what to do or how to fix it.
4. Being happy with where I am relationship wise. Not that I'm not happy...I'm just...not happy. I'm glad no one reads this...I sound like a crazy woman! I guess I'm not happy because I'm so cynical about it. I want to be more open and receptive to the idea that there might be someone that I work well with relationship wise. I also want to trust my instincts more...because I know me and I know when something will work and when it won't.
5. Being who I am and not hiding.
6. Start going to church...at least once in awhile. Staying true to myself is okay and being spiritual in my way is okay...but I really think there's something empowering about being with a group of people while doing that stuff. I don't like using the word praying or worshiping because they had such negative connotations with my dad and it's hard for me to break those bonds...but I guess that's what I'm talking about. Yes...this is STILL bothering me.
7. Quit speaking poorly of myself. I don't ACTUALLY think I'm fat, stupid, worthless, or boring...so I don't know why I say those things. I think I use self-deprecation as a defense mechnisim...and I need to find a way to deal with feeling threatened other than being down on me. When I focus on NOT saying those things I really do have better days...so I have to just keep that in mind more.
I'm sure there are more...but those are the major ones. I'm sure that I won't change them all this year...some of them I've been trying to work on for years...but I would like to keep these things in mind more and really challenge myself to make positive steps in each one.
In other news...12 inches of snow on the way. Sweet!! I'm taking pictures tomorrow!!
1. Joy in my heart.
2. Conquering my shyness. This includes asking people to do thing with me, answering my phone when people call, calling people, approaching people that seem interesting and trying to get to know them, making new friends, and being more social in my house.
3. Asking for help AS SOON AS I realize I need it. Or might need it. Not letting things snowball to the point where I have no clue what to do or how to fix it.
4. Being happy with where I am relationship wise. Not that I'm not happy...I'm just...not happy. I'm glad no one reads this...I sound like a crazy woman! I guess I'm not happy because I'm so cynical about it. I want to be more open and receptive to the idea that there might be someone that I work well with relationship wise. I also want to trust my instincts more...because I know me and I know when something will work and when it won't.
5. Being who I am and not hiding.
6. Start going to church...at least once in awhile. Staying true to myself is okay and being spiritual in my way is okay...but I really think there's something empowering about being with a group of people while doing that stuff. I don't like using the word praying or worshiping because they had such negative connotations with my dad and it's hard for me to break those bonds...but I guess that's what I'm talking about. Yes...this is STILL bothering me.
7. Quit speaking poorly of myself. I don't ACTUALLY think I'm fat, stupid, worthless, or boring...so I don't know why I say those things. I think I use self-deprecation as a defense mechnisim...and I need to find a way to deal with feeling threatened other than being down on me. When I focus on NOT saying those things I really do have better days...so I have to just keep that in mind more.
I'm sure there are more...but those are the major ones. I'm sure that I won't change them all this year...some of them I've been trying to work on for years...but I would like to keep these things in mind more and really challenge myself to make positive steps in each one.
In other news...12 inches of snow on the way. Sweet!! I'm taking pictures tomorrow!!