(no subject)
`*-; Years ago I wouldn't have ever seen it coming. Anything; but now as I go back and read about my life in my own writing, I wonder quietly to myself "What the hell is happeneing to me?". It's silently angering. :\ I look back and realize that I am brighter than I ever thought I was and recently I've let my mental health go to shit.
I've gotten far too into this OCD bullshit and I need to stop it. Okay, I'm not majorly OCD, I'm not majorly psycho. But I have this irrational fear of bad things happening. I don't know why, or what provoked it but as I go back and read past entries; all the things I've said that were harsh, how TRUTHFUL I was about those things, and think now... about how I am and how afraid I get to say something because I fear that something coming back to bite me in the ass, I have to laugh.
I was never this good. And I miss that old me, in a way. The person who wasn't afraid to say shit to anyone. The person who didn't give a fuck about you, or the next person if you were going to stab me in the back. I wouldn't have given you a second look, or a chance, for that matter. And I realize maybe I had a reason to be a little bit more of a hard-ass, but I read and I had a good head on my shoulders.
Not that that's changed! Just that I can't believe how much I used to write, and I've almost given up on that. It's stupid! I can't believe myself sometimes, and it makes me angry. I was so passionate about everything. Even my hate, my love... everything. I miss that passion.
And I realize that things are more and more downhill. People are less and less trusting, people are growing into the self-centered asshole minds of america and we're allowing ourselves to be consumed in things; and we're forgetting other things exist. We're forgetting all of our occult and paranormal dealings and the things we love. We're forgetting to just read that book, it's good! We're forgetting everything in our past, we're letting our minds slip into controlled environments and it shouldn't be that way.
Kids shouldn't grow up too fast and we still need to hold onto beliefs that made every ounce of sense to us in the past. Things don't change like that. You can't just give up. Why is EVERYONE so deadset on giving up?
STOP IT!
God, stupid FUCKING people. STOP LETTING EVERYONE INFLUENCE YOUR BELIEFS. STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN! MAKE MEMORIES WORTH REMEMBERING. STOP YOUR DRUG-BULLSHIT.
HAVE FUN.
This is your life, and this is the ONLY chance you have to live it. Make it WORTH living.
xo- KaylaMarie.
I've gotten far too into this OCD bullshit and I need to stop it. Okay, I'm not majorly OCD, I'm not majorly psycho. But I have this irrational fear of bad things happening. I don't know why, or what provoked it but as I go back and read past entries; all the things I've said that were harsh, how TRUTHFUL I was about those things, and think now... about how I am and how afraid I get to say something because I fear that something coming back to bite me in the ass, I have to laugh.
I was never this good. And I miss that old me, in a way. The person who wasn't afraid to say shit to anyone. The person who didn't give a fuck about you, or the next person if you were going to stab me in the back. I wouldn't have given you a second look, or a chance, for that matter. And I realize maybe I had a reason to be a little bit more of a hard-ass, but I read and I had a good head on my shoulders.
Not that that's changed! Just that I can't believe how much I used to write, and I've almost given up on that. It's stupid! I can't believe myself sometimes, and it makes me angry. I was so passionate about everything. Even my hate, my love... everything. I miss that passion.
And I realize that things are more and more downhill. People are less and less trusting, people are growing into the self-centered asshole minds of america and we're allowing ourselves to be consumed in things; and we're forgetting other things exist. We're forgetting all of our occult and paranormal dealings and the things we love. We're forgetting to just read that book, it's good! We're forgetting everything in our past, we're letting our minds slip into controlled environments and it shouldn't be that way.
Kids shouldn't grow up too fast and we still need to hold onto beliefs that made every ounce of sense to us in the past. Things don't change like that. You can't just give up. Why is EVERYONE so deadset on giving up?
STOP IT!
God, stupid FUCKING people. STOP LETTING EVERYONE INFLUENCE YOUR BELIEFS. STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN! MAKE MEMORIES WORTH REMEMBERING. STOP YOUR DRUG-BULLSHIT.
HAVE FUN.
This is your life, and this is the ONLY chance you have to live it. Make it WORTH living.
xo- KaylaMarie.