How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against spirit of
darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to
approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks,
and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to
do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against
the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found
that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem
or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service
in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including:
incandescent, fluorescent three way, long-life and tinted, all of which are
equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely
out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your
choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church
lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against spirit of
darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to
approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks,
and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to
do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against
the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found
that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem
or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service
in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including:
incandescent, fluorescent three way, long-life and tinted, all of which are
equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely
out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your
choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church
lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?