We got machines, but the kids got Jesus.
Hey yo.
Just plopped my ass in front of the computer like the shameless little fucker that I am, and I'm roaring to write down today's shit and all.
Anyway.
Today is fucking tiring.
I finished off Divergent by Veronica Roth and it was fucking awesome. I got sorted into my faction too, but I belong in fucking Amity.
Really now.
AMITY?
Peace-loving, happy-go-lucky hippies who create art when they have a problem?
Lol nope. I may be a writer, and an amateur painter, but there is no fucking way I'm peaceloving.
And it's kinda tiring to be selfless and dedicated to the needs of other selfish fuckers.
Just before I went home, I was itching to swing by the canteen to see if they had any more of their kick-ass fudge brownies. I swear, they must've been dumping Nutella and drugs on that shit coz those brownies be the bomb.
I didn't swing by the canteen, by the fucking way.All because I was trying to comfort someone.
That someone being my pissy smartass classmate who's depressed and disbelieving of the fact her grade on extra-curricular activities dropped down two measly fucking points.
Okay, first off, yes, it is fucked up to be graded on extra curricular activities. It's a pathetic way to force a kid to not just do academics. But it sucks rocks because it's mandatory, and it's 10% of our overall average. So our grade could make or break on our after-school activities.
Stupid Catholic schools thinking they can mold perfect students.
Secondly, why is she so fucking sad her grade dropped two FUCKING points? It's the way life works.
You don't get what you think you deserve. You don't get what you want. You get what you need. You get what others think you deserve?
And what do we students really deserve, after working our asses off and studying the shit out of useless crap when we could be doing other productive things?
We get graded based on how the teacher sees our hard work. If they see another kid working even harder than you did, or if they see you slack off a bit, they say, "This kid's getting a low grade cause he doesn't deserve a good one."
I tried telling my grade-conscious classmate that grades didn't really matter, cause they didn't change our destinies.
I spewed some fucking deep shit there, man.
What do I get?
Bullshit.
Pure bullshit.
The self-denying bullshit. "I'm fine," she told me. I told her point-blank she wasn't.
She agreed.
Then she said she appreciated my words. I told her, "I don't need you to appreciate my words. I need you to understand them."
But she refused to lift herself out of her funk, so I just fucked off like I should've and beelined to the canteen.
No more brownies.
I could've throttled that grade-conscious classmate of mine.
But I didn't and I won't.
Because I'm not that type of person.
I'm pretty fucking sacrificing and selfless that it makes me wanna hurl.
I can be pretty selfish.
But there are times when I'm too good to others. Especially those who abuse people like me.
And then I had this report in English today, about American Literature.
American kids take a whole semester, or more, to study that shit. And my teacher gave me less than an hour to discuss it to unimaginative fifteen-year olds who are called smart and the best of the batch, but are actually world-class bullshitters.
Yes, even smart, trying-to-be-perfect people can be bullshitters.
It's only because we're tired of being the role models of our batch.
I frankly, could not give one fuck to save my life.
But hey, who values the opinion of a crazy, 15 year old almost-BPD kid who listens to music kids her age don't know existed?
Certainly not society of course.
Just plopped my ass in front of the computer like the shameless little fucker that I am, and I'm roaring to write down today's shit and all.
Anyway.
Today is fucking tiring.
I finished off Divergent by Veronica Roth and it was fucking awesome. I got sorted into my faction too, but I belong in fucking Amity.
Really now.
AMITY?
Peace-loving, happy-go-lucky hippies who create art when they have a problem?
Lol nope. I may be a writer, and an amateur painter, but there is no fucking way I'm peaceloving.
And it's kinda tiring to be selfless and dedicated to the needs of other selfish fuckers.
Just before I went home, I was itching to swing by the canteen to see if they had any more of their kick-ass fudge brownies. I swear, they must've been dumping Nutella and drugs on that shit coz those brownies be the bomb.
I didn't swing by the canteen, by the fucking way.All because I was trying to comfort someone.
That someone being my pissy smartass classmate who's depressed and disbelieving of the fact her grade on extra-curricular activities dropped down two measly fucking points.
Okay, first off, yes, it is fucked up to be graded on extra curricular activities. It's a pathetic way to force a kid to not just do academics. But it sucks rocks because it's mandatory, and it's 10% of our overall average. So our grade could make or break on our after-school activities.
Stupid Catholic schools thinking they can mold perfect students.
Secondly, why is she so fucking sad her grade dropped two FUCKING points? It's the way life works.
You don't get what you think you deserve. You don't get what you want. You get what you need. You get what others think you deserve?
And what do we students really deserve, after working our asses off and studying the shit out of useless crap when we could be doing other productive things?
We get graded based on how the teacher sees our hard work. If they see another kid working even harder than you did, or if they see you slack off a bit, they say, "This kid's getting a low grade cause he doesn't deserve a good one."
I tried telling my grade-conscious classmate that grades didn't really matter, cause they didn't change our destinies.
I spewed some fucking deep shit there, man.
What do I get?
Bullshit.
Pure bullshit.
The self-denying bullshit. "I'm fine," she told me. I told her point-blank she wasn't.
She agreed.
Then she said she appreciated my words. I told her, "I don't need you to appreciate my words. I need you to understand them."
But she refused to lift herself out of her funk, so I just fucked off like I should've and beelined to the canteen.
No more brownies.
I could've throttled that grade-conscious classmate of mine.
But I didn't and I won't.
Because I'm not that type of person.
I'm pretty fucking sacrificing and selfless that it makes me wanna hurl.
I can be pretty selfish.
But there are times when I'm too good to others. Especially those who abuse people like me.
And then I had this report in English today, about American Literature.
American kids take a whole semester, or more, to study that shit. And my teacher gave me less than an hour to discuss it to unimaginative fifteen-year olds who are called smart and the best of the batch, but are actually world-class bullshitters.
Yes, even smart, trying-to-be-perfect people can be bullshitters.
It's only because we're tired of being the role models of our batch.
I frankly, could not give one fuck to save my life.
But hey, who values the opinion of a crazy, 15 year old almost-BPD kid who listens to music kids her age don't know existed?
Certainly not society of course.