when we all grow up
when i was a kid i used to say i wanna grow up, so i do not need to do hw, hear mummy nag or scold or beat, so i can have freedom, go out alot and all sorts of nonsense you have heard it, maybe you are different, your parents worked al day, or maybe single parent home, or maid /grannie bought you up but till bet you said iwanna grow up now.
i came from a home w hich is complete of me, mummy and daddy. we may not be the richest family around, nor are we rich we are an average family which my daddy works, mummy scrimp and save at points but still she do ot work she stays at home to look after me and the house, i am a single child and often we head to my maternal granny house where my aunts and cousin will be and we will play around in the kiddy ways like balls and watch tv , no hi-tech toys nor do we play dolls or such, as we grew maybe the cooking toys or the acting games like who is the daddy and the child, or doctor and such, but childhood was happy cos i didnt had playschool at 18 months, and time flew by at tht age of being a baby to the age of 6. all i remember was mummy beat me when i was naughty or eat her homemade chilli which is omg spicy, and i will cry i dont like mummy i want daddy but all this words do not mean or hurt when we are a kid cos we are still a young child. and i went on to pri 1, through primary school nothing change, we were still a happy family with its occasional problems and i am usually the root of it,
secondary school came, i grew up even more, i wanted more freedom, i wanted to be able to go out and hang out till late with my friends, i thought that was cool, i still wanna hang out late cos i am older,but i love my curfew at times, it gives me an excuse not being able to go clubbing or use it as an excuse to get out of outings. but in sec 3 i came to christ and acccepted Him as my Lord and saviour. my parents were open about it all the way till the end of sec 4 but i realised they get more possesive about my choice of religion as i grow older and closer to the Lord that i am not allowed to go out for more and more events and that is the only more freedon i want to get at this age. in poly i get so much more freedom due to my schedule and all, it gets mad packed as i go more into the weeks in school and i have a cca also, so i stay up till late in school plus school camps and everything, i am so suck into school at a period, and church on weekend and i left sundays for them only, and that is tearing the family apart at times, that my parents dun noe me much anymore.
that my mum look after a baby, even though i know they love me, but at times i feel the piority of their lives is not me, her focus is the child, that when i am sick she dun really care much now, that she say i keep buying things but is what i save and i need to pamper and cheeer myself up at times, that we have no more fun outings like going to the movies or shopping or such, we usually do not do that but in the past when my aunt ask us we will go but now is i who go, ME who go and not with mummy, daddy will also once in a blue moon go watch movie as a family but not any longer, it feels like their lives no longer revolve around me at tiime,sa i may sound selfish and you might judge but i am the only child, i might not get the whole world attention but i know in the end my family will pay attention to me, that my family means the world to me, i at point of my life i will have a sudden heartache what will happen to me if i lost my parents when they die of old age, anything that happen to family is a knife stab into my heart that is why at times i feel unimportant, alone, makes me feel so sad,
maybe cos i spent to much time with my friends and not to much at times, or even if i do i am watching tv with them , than back to my room to study/ project/ chat/ fb or read or wadever and not time with them that i no longer talk heart to heart things with them anymore, like i have much to share or want to share either. but it hurts esp when i pms that they scold me, or say why i shout when i didnt it hurst so much, or they call me to do house work only, that they no longer buy me things, unless it is too expensive, no new shoes cos i always buy myself and i have too much, clothes cos either i have free or i buy and my mum hates shopping, only the essential does she buy for me but it is cos we are at the market or such, that even though we go out i buy something i say mum buy for me she will refuse, dad so will he, tht as i grow up all my expenses i have to carry tht there is no more my little girl, let me buy something for her, i might say eeee not nice, but when i look at it again i will always love it and keep it and wont give it away cos it is from them like the necklace daddy gave,
maybe i am thinking tooo much, cos i noe they love me if not why will they allow me to pursue my dreams to go for OSEP
that they give in to me in ways, scold me in many for the good of it all
but i feel so alone, empty, afraid, crying so much,
God is this your way to prepare me for OSEP, to tell me what it is like?
to show me this is what will happen, and to treasure my parents more before i go.
take the pain away please. it hurts so badly esp when i am going thru my emotional period also.
help me heal it, mend it, strengthen it and fill it to the brim Lord,
love me like never before, flood me with love &let me feel it,
take my worries, loneliness away and my fears also.
bring back the smile i have, the laughter i had and the randomness in the that brings joy,
let me be the life of the party and bring many smile and be a girl of smiles and not tears.
wipe away my tears lord, i need your shoulders.
iloveyou father.
iloveyoumummy&daddy
i came from a home w hich is complete of me, mummy and daddy. we may not be the richest family around, nor are we rich we are an average family which my daddy works, mummy scrimp and save at points but still she do ot work she stays at home to look after me and the house, i am a single child and often we head to my maternal granny house where my aunts and cousin will be and we will play around in the kiddy ways like balls and watch tv , no hi-tech toys nor do we play dolls or such, as we grew maybe the cooking toys or the acting games like who is the daddy and the child, or doctor and such, but childhood was happy cos i didnt had playschool at 18 months, and time flew by at tht age of being a baby to the age of 6. all i remember was mummy beat me when i was naughty or eat her homemade chilli which is omg spicy, and i will cry i dont like mummy i want daddy but all this words do not mean or hurt when we are a kid cos we are still a young child. and i went on to pri 1, through primary school nothing change, we were still a happy family with its occasional problems and i am usually the root of it,
secondary school came, i grew up even more, i wanted more freedom, i wanted to be able to go out and hang out till late with my friends, i thought that was cool, i still wanna hang out late cos i am older,but i love my curfew at times, it gives me an excuse not being able to go clubbing or use it as an excuse to get out of outings. but in sec 3 i came to christ and acccepted Him as my Lord and saviour. my parents were open about it all the way till the end of sec 4 but i realised they get more possesive about my choice of religion as i grow older and closer to the Lord that i am not allowed to go out for more and more events and that is the only more freedon i want to get at this age. in poly i get so much more freedom due to my schedule and all, it gets mad packed as i go more into the weeks in school and i have a cca also, so i stay up till late in school plus school camps and everything, i am so suck into school at a period, and church on weekend and i left sundays for them only, and that is tearing the family apart at times, that my parents dun noe me much anymore.
that my mum look after a baby, even though i know they love me, but at times i feel the piority of their lives is not me, her focus is the child, that when i am sick she dun really care much now, that she say i keep buying things but is what i save and i need to pamper and cheeer myself up at times, that we have no more fun outings like going to the movies or shopping or such, we usually do not do that but in the past when my aunt ask us we will go but now is i who go, ME who go and not with mummy, daddy will also once in a blue moon go watch movie as a family but not any longer, it feels like their lives no longer revolve around me at tiime,sa i may sound selfish and you might judge but i am the only child, i might not get the whole world attention but i know in the end my family will pay attention to me, that my family means the world to me, i at point of my life i will have a sudden heartache what will happen to me if i lost my parents when they die of old age, anything that happen to family is a knife stab into my heart that is why at times i feel unimportant, alone, makes me feel so sad,
maybe cos i spent to much time with my friends and not to much at times, or even if i do i am watching tv with them , than back to my room to study/ project/ chat/ fb or read or wadever and not time with them that i no longer talk heart to heart things with them anymore, like i have much to share or want to share either. but it hurts esp when i pms that they scold me, or say why i shout when i didnt it hurst so much, or they call me to do house work only, that they no longer buy me things, unless it is too expensive, no new shoes cos i always buy myself and i have too much, clothes cos either i have free or i buy and my mum hates shopping, only the essential does she buy for me but it is cos we are at the market or such, that even though we go out i buy something i say mum buy for me she will refuse, dad so will he, tht as i grow up all my expenses i have to carry tht there is no more my little girl, let me buy something for her, i might say eeee not nice, but when i look at it again i will always love it and keep it and wont give it away cos it is from them like the necklace daddy gave,
maybe i am thinking tooo much, cos i noe they love me if not why will they allow me to pursue my dreams to go for OSEP
that they give in to me in ways, scold me in many for the good of it all
but i feel so alone, empty, afraid, crying so much,
God is this your way to prepare me for OSEP, to tell me what it is like?
to show me this is what will happen, and to treasure my parents more before i go.
take the pain away please. it hurts so badly esp when i am going thru my emotional period also.
help me heal it, mend it, strengthen it and fill it to the brim Lord,
love me like never before, flood me with love &let me feel it,
take my worries, loneliness away and my fears also.
bring back the smile i have, the laughter i had and the randomness in the that brings joy,
let me be the life of the party and bring many smile and be a girl of smiles and not tears.
wipe away my tears lord, i need your shoulders.
iloveyou father.
iloveyoumummy&daddy