Bored at Work
Apparently I was a pirate, albeit a craptacular one (which really wouldn't surprise me), in a former life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Kennedy_%28pirate%29
It's kind of scary because me and this guy have so very much in common. He couldn't navigate and landed in Scotland when shooting for Ireland, we all know that without specific directions I tend to get lost easily. The fact that he landed in Scotland explains why my family lineage is considered Scottish despite the Irish last name. And honestly, it would be my luck to be thrown in jail on the word of a prostitute.