It Don't Mean a Thing. Chapter 27: Making a List
Title: It Don’t Mean a Thing Ch.27 Making a List
Author: clara-eloise
Rating: M
Summary: Jacob takes Bella swing dancing. Edward is the instructor. A struggle for her affection begins that could start a war. Eventual Bella/Jacob.
Validation Beta: likexaxdove
Genre: Romance/Drama
Status: work in progress
Type: Multi Chapter
Like a baby whose umbilical cord has been cut, Bella suddenly finds that she's entirely lost the connection to Jake.
Her sense of the imprint has utterly vanished.
Maybe it's the altitude, or the distance from Jacob, but as soon as the plane takes off from Washington she has a panic attack and is gasping for air. It is what she imagines drowning in quicksand would be like…or getting your windpipe ripped out.
By the time the fasten seat belt sign has been switched off, and the elderly gentleman next to her has made her put her knees between her legs and breathe into a paper bag, some sort of self-preservation instinct kicks in.
You have to survive this.
The flight to Jacksonville is turbulent, which doesn't help her vomiting virus. She's mortified at her repeated empty gagging into a paper bag. The elderly gentleman next to her eventually moves to a seat behind and makes way for a sympathetic tanned flight attendant.
"You scared of flying, honey? Here, have a sip of some ice water."
Bella's utter mortification finally overcomes the weakness of her own body. Her breathing settles, she collapses back on the seat and closes her eyes, having drawn enough attention to herself to last a lifetime.
She has two more hours flight time to begin to adjust to life on her own.
As they descend into Jacksonville, Bella sees the curve of the coastline from her airplane window, beads of condensation trickling against the outside pane. Below, the water edges the white sand, mid blue and green. As they get lower she can make out boats with white sails and even a windsurfer. Then there's streets and cars all like matchstick toys. Swimming pools chequer boarding the city floor. Palm trees bending in welcome.
"Have a Great Day," the handsome young captain smiles at Bella as she passes out through the cabin door, and down the metal staircase to the tarmac. Heat haze blisters across the air field and the humidity slaps her in the face.
In arrivals, Bella is scooped up by a grinning Renee with flying curls.
"Oh my God, Bella, you look terrible."
Her Mom holds her like she never wants to let go - one of her bone-crushing hugs.
"Thanks Mom. Tell it like it is." Bella catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror above the moving walkway: white as a Cullen, all bandaged up, greasy hair and slumped. She's Dead Girl Walking.
Holy Crow.
Renee slings her arm around her daughter.
"Let's get you home," she whispers.
Bella feels a pang deep inside. Home is a long way away, and she feels the distance with every step she takes.
Renee's house is in a quiet neighbourhood a few streets from the beach, a white stucco two story property with a balcony overlooking a landscaped garden.
Bella puts her duffel bag on the little blue bed on the upper floor bedroom that her Mom's prepared for her. Across the foot of the bed is a blanket made from all the T-shirts that they bought together on various road trips. On the bedside table is a small lamp, a few books and a vase with hibiscus flowers.
In the shower, Bella feels like she's scrubbing away ten layers of skin and her misery along with it. She misses Jake, but not like before. With the shadow of the imprint gone, it's a normal sort of missing - the kind any teenage girl would feel when being parted from her insanely gorgeous and loving boyfriend.
Awkwardly combing out her hair, which smells strongly of lemons from the shampoo, Bella wonders if maybe - just maybe - it's not going to be such a bad thing being here after all. So long as Jake is okay, then she'll be fine too. Some time with her Mom - though she's not looking forward to the inevitable S-E-X conversation - might even be a good thing.
It's been a while.
"Hey sweetie." Renee is smiling warmly, leaning against the door frame, her nose sunfreckled under her cowboy hat. Her Mom's eyes sparkle and Bella can tell what she's thinking Can't believe you are here.
One thing she has in common with her Mom - they are both an open book.
"Would you help me with my sling?" Bella asks.
"Sure, baby."
She passes Renee some fresh bandages from her bag and watches as her Mom peels off the wet sling to reveal her splinted fingers.
"Oh honey. That looks so sore."
"It's not so bad now." Bella says dismissively, watches as Renee straps her arm up again in a clean sling. "Be a bit hard to get a bathing suit on, though."
"Well I can help you with that," Renee smiles, putting her head on Bella's good shoulder. "That's what Moms are for, right?"
They spend the evening in the yard. Phil's cooked fish on the barbeque and they sit at a pretty table with a blue checked cloth under an olive tree filled with star shaped lights. Phil fills two glasses with white wine, something Bella is mildly surprised at - he wouldn't have done that before she moved to Forks - and slips a baseball cap on, then smiles shyly and heads off for a jog.
Bella watches her Mom watch him go, and for a moment she is filled with happiness that she has done the right thing. Her Mom is obviously so content here in Jacksonville with her husband.
The sunset bursts in hues of dusky purple, pale pink and strips of gold in the way only a Florida sunset can. The crickets begin their nightly rhythmic thrum.
Bella tentatively sips on her wine, and enjoys the way her Mom chews her lip, closes her eyes, sighs a little, plays with the curly hair she's scooped up into a bun - all such familiar gestures.
This is the first time in a long while that I've felt truly safe.
"So Charlie tells me that you finally have a boyfriend." Renee's voice is low and confidential, more like a teenage friend than a mother.
"Yeah…Jake's great."
"Tell me about him," Renee taps Bella's forearm teasingly.
"I have a picture, if you'd like to see." Bella taps her mobile phone to resuscitate it, swivels it so her Mom can see.
Renee's eyes widen appreciatively.
"Damn. He's a hottie. He's Quileute?"
"Billy Black's son."
"What age is he again?" Renee frowns a little.
"Just turned seventeen."
Bella turns the phone back, looks at Jake's effortless smile, finds it infectious even from a photograph. It has the same effect on Renee, as she's smiling too.
"He looks good fun."
"He's great, Mom. He makes me laugh, and he's so kind…he's my best friend." Bella says the words simply, knowing the truth behind each phrase.
"So why is Charlie freaking out?" Renee lifts her eyebrows conspiratorially.
"He's not covered that with you?" Bella winces.
"Maybe I want to hear it from you."
When Bella is awkwardly silent, fiddling with her wolf bracelet, Renee tops up their glasses of wine.
"It's okay. I don't need to know all the gory details. I can tell. You are in love. It's what happens, right?"
Bella smiles gratefully.
"But is there more to it than that? Charlie has it in his head that there's quite a lot you've not been telling him." Renee sips her wine, her eyes sparkling.
Bella exhales. She wants more than anything in that moment to be able to confide in her Mom.
"It's a bit complicated. I've been a bit - stuck - between Jake and this other guy." Bella blushes at her own admission.
"Isabella Marie Swan. Have you become a player?" Renee laughs.
"No! No…well, I did kiss him, but I think I was a bit out of my mind or something…and then I got really confused because surely I wouldn't kiss someone if I was I love with someone else. Right Mom?" Bella looks hopefully from under her lashes at Renee, who is regarding her with a mixture of awe and bemusement.
"Well, if only life was that black and white, baby. But tell me, who is this other guy that can compete with a guy that looks lik that?" Renee gives an incredulous nod towards Bella's mobile.
Bella picks up the phone and starts looking through her gallery. Finds a photo and holds it up.
"Edward Cullen," she says simply.
Renee leans forward. Her eyes widen and mouth drops. It reminds Bella of the first day Edward arrived at Forks High School.
Renee is actually rendered speechless.
"I know," Bella affirms. "Nobody should be allowed to be so ridiculously handsome."
"Well, I see the problem now," Renee squints at her daughter, as if seeing her for the first time. "Jake has competition."
"No, he doesn't - it's not like that. I've made my choice."
"Have you?" Renee eyes her. "I know my daughter when she's certain about something. And you are not certain, Bella." Then Renee jumps to her feet, claps her hands like a kid. "Let me help you decide!"
She darts off inside.
"Mom-"
She should know better than to try to stop her Mom once she begins her cannonball routine.
Renee returns, brandishing paper and pen. Sits back down beside Bella and draws out a little table. One column read Jak and the othe Edward A line down the middle separates them, creating two empty columns.
"I'll start off," Renee suggests with enthusiasm.
Gorgeou she writes under both.
Funny. Kind. Best Frien she writes under Jake's heading.
"Does Edward have a good sense of humour?" Renee probes.
Bella covers her eyes with her good hand. Laughs.
"This is really stupid. Um…no, I haven't seen him tell an knock knock okes. He's more intense and, well, mysterious."
She rolls her eyes as Renee dutifully adds these attributes to the Edward list.
"What else?" Her Mom cocks her head.
"Edward is…ah…older. Jake is younger. Edward is cold and Jake is warm."
"Cold? As in distant?"
"Just write it down." Bella waves her hand dismissively.
"Edward is book smart and musical. Jake is good with his hands -"
"Oh really?" Renee cuts in, eyes brimming with innuendo.
"Gah! He's mechanic, Mom. And he can wood carve. And he's a nice dancer…but then Edward can dance too, and he's well traveled, and sophisticated. Jake's more of a stay-at-home. He cares for his Dad, who is in a wheelchair, so he's never really been anywhere before."
Bella cuts off. Renee has stopped writing things down.
"You don't need to make this list, Bella."
"No. I don't."
"It's perfectly obvious who you love."
Bella smiles.
"Thanks Mom."
Later, when Bella is in bed and she's clearing away the wine glasses, Renee notices that her daughter has left out the Jake/Edward list. Renee glances at it, chuckles. Sees that Bella has added a couple of words at the bottom -
Werewolf / Vampire.
She shakes her head, smiles at the silliness, and tosses the paper into the trash on her way inside.
That's what you call a good evening's parenting