(no subject)
I feel different.
Indescribable.
Broken hearted.
Free.
Stupid.
Genius.
Loved.
Unloved.
Caring.
Bitchy.
Grown up.
Maybe I have changed. Maybe I`m a different person. I`m not sure. Jason has changed me, into something that I`m not sure if I like or not. My dad says he likes my new attitude. I`m not sure what I want anymore. I feel like I`m contimplating my life at a really early age and it`s not right. I mean I can`t even DRIVE yet. I feel like shit yet I feel happy with myself. I feel like I lost something amazing, and I won`t have a chance to get it back anymore. It`s gone forever. Maybe it isn`t. But I feel like it is. I hate it. I hate thinking about what was. What has been. The past is the past and I can`t seem to let go. Thing is, I can`t let go. I don`t think I`ll ever be able to. As much as I want to. As much as I want to be happy with the decision I`ve made, I`m not. I feel as if it`s the right thing, but not the right thing for my heart. I don`t know anymore. I just don`t know.
Life is strange. It chews you up and spits you right back out and expects you to be on your feet like nothing ever happened. But shit does happen. And it sucks. I wish everything was perfect. I keep thinking about it.. but would it be worthwhile? To not strive and to not suffer for a world without imperfections? We need it. To live and to breathe. We need mistakes to make us stronger and to build us up for something better. I just want to fast forward time and see if it`s all worth it in the end. All the pain and suffering. Jared is seriously making me think about this. My brain kinda hurts. Thanks, lol.
I want to be carefree again. Be that girl in the summer where I could just sit back, relax, and look at life in the greatest perspective. I feel like I`ve changed so much. I still am that carefree girl, but I can`t as carefree anymore. I think it`s damn school. I can`t wait till summer comes. Nothing will make me happier then spending time with my friends and even Jason again, and being relaxed and happy about everything. <3 God I miss it.
I need a vacation. A vacation from my life, if that makes sense.
This was the deepest post of my life. Oh Lord. ♥
Indescribable.
Broken hearted.
Free.
Stupid.
Genius.
Loved.
Unloved.
Caring.
Bitchy.
Grown up.
Maybe I have changed. Maybe I`m a different person. I`m not sure. Jason has changed me, into something that I`m not sure if I like or not. My dad says he likes my new attitude. I`m not sure what I want anymore. I feel like I`m contimplating my life at a really early age and it`s not right. I mean I can`t even DRIVE yet. I feel like shit yet I feel happy with myself. I feel like I lost something amazing, and I won`t have a chance to get it back anymore. It`s gone forever. Maybe it isn`t. But I feel like it is. I hate it. I hate thinking about what was. What has been. The past is the past and I can`t seem to let go. Thing is, I can`t let go. I don`t think I`ll ever be able to. As much as I want to. As much as I want to be happy with the decision I`ve made, I`m not. I feel as if it`s the right thing, but not the right thing for my heart. I don`t know anymore. I just don`t know.
Life is strange. It chews you up and spits you right back out and expects you to be on your feet like nothing ever happened. But shit does happen. And it sucks. I wish everything was perfect. I keep thinking about it.. but would it be worthwhile? To not strive and to not suffer for a world without imperfections? We need it. To live and to breathe. We need mistakes to make us stronger and to build us up for something better. I just want to fast forward time and see if it`s all worth it in the end. All the pain and suffering. Jared is seriously making me think about this. My brain kinda hurts. Thanks, lol.
I want to be carefree again. Be that girl in the summer where I could just sit back, relax, and look at life in the greatest perspective. I feel like I`ve changed so much. I still am that carefree girl, but I can`t as carefree anymore. I think it`s damn school. I can`t wait till summer comes. Nothing will make me happier then spending time with my friends and even Jason again, and being relaxed and happy about everything. <3 God I miss it.
I need a vacation. A vacation from my life, if that makes sense.
This was the deepest post of my life. Oh Lord. ♥