Real-life conversation that is real
So I'm lying on the couch with my laptop on my lap. My friend, who has been playing We Love Katamari with me, is leaving because we are both tired. As she leaves I have her and turn off the playstation and tv because I am too tired to grab the remote, let alone get up. Here's the honest-to-god actual transcript of our parting conversation.
"You'll have to get up anyways," she says after mocking my laziness. "You've got a computer on your lap."
"I can totally sleep like this. I sleep with my computer all the time." I reply. "Besides, it's nice and warm."
"And it'll make you impotent if you keep it on your lap."
"I might as well be impotent, for all the good my potency does me."
"You never know," she says. "You and a lesbian may decide to have a kid together, and you'll end up making it the old-fashioned way."
"What, with a turkey baster?"
"No! The old fashioned way: all over her face. You'll say, 'trust me, I went to college, and they taught us this is how you make babies.' And since she is a lesbian and never went to high school, she'll believe you."
"Splurt, splurt."
"You'll have to get up anyways," she says after mocking my laziness. "You've got a computer on your lap."
"I can totally sleep like this. I sleep with my computer all the time." I reply. "Besides, it's nice and warm."
"And it'll make you impotent if you keep it on your lap."
"I might as well be impotent, for all the good my potency does me."
"You never know," she says. "You and a lesbian may decide to have a kid together, and you'll end up making it the old-fashioned way."
"What, with a turkey baster?"
"No! The old fashioned way: all over her face. You'll say, 'trust me, I went to college, and they taught us this is how you make babies.' And since she is a lesbian and never went to high school, she'll believe you."
"Splurt, splurt."