i wonder

[the_worst_of_me]

i wonder if i just dissapeared if anyone would actually care? i mean.. i know people would pretend to be upset and stuff and be all like oh dear how did this happen.. but i cant see anyone being really terribly scarred. i mean, i dont really have any productiveness at all. i wake up, cry, go to school, fuck something or other up, fail a test, come home, cry some more, and go to sleep. i really dont think my life is that consequential at all. like, nobody elses life is affected positively by mine, so what difference does it make if i'm there or not? all im doing is making myself more miserable, and everyone else around me. if i just went away and nobody ever saw me again? i really truly dont even think it would make a difference

*edit*

i buy people alcohol. i forgot. so maybe if i left they would be pissed cuz it would be harder to get alcohol. probably not even, though. they could get it from someone else i guess.