(no subject)
I hate how daily I think of telling you something,I see something you would like and want to call you and tell you,wait for you to come online, text you at 3 in the morning, want to buy you a hockey toy, anything. and then I stop and think, but it hasnt really hit me yet, that youre gone forever,I know youre gone, but youve made me pull away from so many feelings and people, because I am so afraid to lose them, just how I lost you. I hate how I hated god, and sometimes I still do, I know its been a few months now but why cant I stop crying? sometimes I cant understand how much I've been missing you lately.how badly I want to see you, even if its for a really quick second, and not in my dreams. But i know its impossible, I'm sorry I cant visit you,I'm sorry im a million miles away from you, Im sorry I still cryyy I know you would be so mad right now :( cmonss take me with youuu, I know youre listening/reading.
