(no subject)
while closed captioning yet another (and likely the last) episode of the short-lived and unbelievably awful air america, i wondered (as i and others at work have wondered, repeatedly) about whether lorenzo lamas as air america's rio arnett could beat chuck norris' walker, texas ranger in hand-to-hand combat.
vs.
naturally, this led me to conclude that the greatest video game ever would, by necessity, allow me to live out this epic battle - with the controls of tekken and the digitization of real world people as in mortal kombat. in fact, i imagine that the greatest videogame ever would feature an entire roster of cheesy, tv action heroes - mostly from especially awful syndicated shows. with this in mind, i've come up with the following (provisional) list of characters for my greatest video game ever project:
chuck norris as cordell walker (walker, texas ranger)
lorenzo lamas as rio arnett (air america)
richard dean anderson as angus macgyver (macgyver)
mr. t as bosco baracus (the a-team)
david hasselhoff as michael knight (knight rider)
david carradine as kwai chang caine (kung fu: the legend continues)
mario lopez as bobby cruz (pacific blue)
erik estrada as ponch poncherello (chips)
don johnson as sonny crockett (miami vice)
philip michael thomas as rico tubbs (miami vice)
tom wopat as luke duke (dukes of hazzard)
john schneider as bo duke (dukes of hazzard)
naturally, i'm forgetting some shows - and i've done an especially poor job of including women and people of colour. and the limitation is (roughly) as such - only shows that aired post-1980, contemporary settings, and only shows that were either always terrible or simply aged very badly with time. lotsa cheese required.
vs.
naturally, this led me to conclude that the greatest video game ever would, by necessity, allow me to live out this epic battle - with the controls of tekken and the digitization of real world people as in mortal kombat. in fact, i imagine that the greatest videogame ever would feature an entire roster of cheesy, tv action heroes - mostly from especially awful syndicated shows. with this in mind, i've come up with the following (provisional) list of characters for my greatest video game ever project:
chuck norris as cordell walker (walker, texas ranger)
lorenzo lamas as rio arnett (air america)
richard dean anderson as angus macgyver (macgyver)
mr. t as bosco baracus (the a-team)
david hasselhoff as michael knight (knight rider)
david carradine as kwai chang caine (kung fu: the legend continues)
mario lopez as bobby cruz (pacific blue)
erik estrada as ponch poncherello (chips)
don johnson as sonny crockett (miami vice)
philip michael thomas as rico tubbs (miami vice)
tom wopat as luke duke (dukes of hazzard)
john schneider as bo duke (dukes of hazzard)
naturally, i'm forgetting some shows - and i've done an especially poor job of including women and people of colour. and the limitation is (roughly) as such - only shows that aired post-1980, contemporary settings, and only shows that were either always terrible or simply aged very badly with time. lotsa cheese required.