Hyperdrabble...EMPIRE ch.4 - Muppet
okay, this is officially getting tricky, but no matter! For whatever reason, it continues!
EMPIRE
Chapter Four- Muppet
When she was little, she’d been big. Kids teased her...called her ‘Miss Piggy’. It was the worst she’d ever felt, before she got hot.
She felt worse, now.
“You can’t DO this,” Harmony screamed, held down by three demons as they held the broken statue aloft, “...I was an executive assistant! I have rights...”
“Very sorry,” the demon mage said, “...but a bargain was struck. And we need a shell.”
A dark mist formed, and Harmony screamed again, then fell silent. When her eyes reopened, she was Harmony no more.
“This’ll do,” she grinned. Catherine the Great was reborn.
********
“This is intolerable!”
“Settle down!” Brynn shouted at Illyria, still trying to convince the demigoddess that she was stranded in England, 1610...Percy was cowering in the corner.
“Who would dare displace ME?” she raged, as the vampire slayer of the era watched her closely, “...toss me aside through the winds of time itself like some...some...muppet!”
Brynn stared. “...Moppet?”
Illyria cocked her head. “No...’muppet’. It is a ‘pop culture reference’,” she explained slowly, “...I have been assured by many that they are both topical and humorous.”
But the blank stares continued. Illyria growled, her displeasure growing.
“This is intolerable.”
********
“Has Willow found anything yet? And where’s Giles?”
“Haven’t heard back from Will,” Xander reported, “...Andrew’s tracking Giles down. Relax, Buff, we’re on LA.”
“Good,” Buffy replied, hiding her worry, “...hey. Either of you know a girl called Dawn?”
“Like Prairie Dawn?” Andrew piped up, dialing a phone, “...she was my favourite muppet.”
“That’s Sesame Street, not Muppet Show,” Xander noted.
“Still a Muppet,” Andrew continued, “...When she and Cookie Monster would go out hiking? Magic happened.”
Xander shook his head, and Buffy dismissed what was likely a silly question. A minute later, Andrew hung up, disappointed.
“He’s not answering.”
********
“...can’t believe I followed you,” Giles grumbled. His ‘partner’ grinned smugly.
“That’s the difference between us, Ripper...you’re like Sam the eagle, all square jawed pomposity...”
“Sam was an AMERICAN eagle, technically...”
“...whilst I am that mad fellow who roamed around blowing things up...which one was he?”
“Crazy Harry,” Giles replied, “...if you’re going to make inane similes, get your names straight.”
“You’re a font of knowledge, Rupert. Pray some of it comes in handy. For all our sakes.”
Giles ignored Ethan, touching the strange weapon at his side, and smiling.
He had a little Crazy Harry in him, too.
********
So it was true. He’d heard rumours...and after Smile Time, he was certain. Now, back in 1984, he couldn’t resist. He’d tracked them down, finding much more than he’d bargained for.
“Quite a story, Lorne,” the man said, as friendly as history suggested, “...but, good to know you. Call me Jim. And this is...”
“Oh, I know who HE is,” Lorne said, gushing, “...and, if I may? You were bang-on about the complexion, amigo. Brother, it sure ain’t easy sometimes.”
“Well, thanks, friend!,” Kermit replied, excited, “...Now come...let our secret work commence! YAAAAHHH!!”
Time to get things started...
TO BE CONTINUED...
EMPIRE
Chapter Four- Muppet
When she was little, she’d been big. Kids teased her...called her ‘Miss Piggy’. It was the worst she’d ever felt, before she got hot.
She felt worse, now.
“You can’t DO this,” Harmony screamed, held down by three demons as they held the broken statue aloft, “...I was an executive assistant! I have rights...”
“Very sorry,” the demon mage said, “...but a bargain was struck. And we need a shell.”
A dark mist formed, and Harmony screamed again, then fell silent. When her eyes reopened, she was Harmony no more.
“This’ll do,” she grinned. Catherine the Great was reborn.
********
“This is intolerable!”
“Settle down!” Brynn shouted at Illyria, still trying to convince the demigoddess that she was stranded in England, 1610...Percy was cowering in the corner.
“Who would dare displace ME?” she raged, as the vampire slayer of the era watched her closely, “...toss me aside through the winds of time itself like some...some...muppet!”
Brynn stared. “...Moppet?”
Illyria cocked her head. “No...’muppet’. It is a ‘pop culture reference’,” she explained slowly, “...I have been assured by many that they are both topical and humorous.”
But the blank stares continued. Illyria growled, her displeasure growing.
“This is intolerable.”
********
“Has Willow found anything yet? And where’s Giles?”
“Haven’t heard back from Will,” Xander reported, “...Andrew’s tracking Giles down. Relax, Buff, we’re on LA.”
“Good,” Buffy replied, hiding her worry, “...hey. Either of you know a girl called Dawn?”
“Like Prairie Dawn?” Andrew piped up, dialing a phone, “...she was my favourite muppet.”
“That’s Sesame Street, not Muppet Show,” Xander noted.
“Still a Muppet,” Andrew continued, “...When she and Cookie Monster would go out hiking? Magic happened.”
Xander shook his head, and Buffy dismissed what was likely a silly question. A minute later, Andrew hung up, disappointed.
“He’s not answering.”
********
“...can’t believe I followed you,” Giles grumbled. His ‘partner’ grinned smugly.
“That’s the difference between us, Ripper...you’re like Sam the eagle, all square jawed pomposity...”
“Sam was an AMERICAN eagle, technically...”
“...whilst I am that mad fellow who roamed around blowing things up...which one was he?”
“Crazy Harry,” Giles replied, “...if you’re going to make inane similes, get your names straight.”
“You’re a font of knowledge, Rupert. Pray some of it comes in handy. For all our sakes.”
Giles ignored Ethan, touching the strange weapon at his side, and smiling.
He had a little Crazy Harry in him, too.
********
So it was true. He’d heard rumours...and after Smile Time, he was certain. Now, back in 1984, he couldn’t resist. He’d tracked them down, finding much more than he’d bargained for.
“Quite a story, Lorne,” the man said, as friendly as history suggested, “...but, good to know you. Call me Jim. And this is...”
“Oh, I know who HE is,” Lorne said, gushing, “...and, if I may? You were bang-on about the complexion, amigo. Brother, it sure ain’t easy sometimes.”
“Well, thanks, friend!,” Kermit replied, excited, “...Now come...let our secret work commence! YAAAAHHH!!”
Time to get things started...
TO BE CONTINUED...