life right now...

[the_violet_fire]

right now i am living in the moment. i am taking life... the way it wants for me to, and i believe that it is leading me in a path that could be really good. i am not going to jinx myself by talking about josh... seems that if i do, things fuck up... but i will say that the new people in my life are so incredible. it feels amazing to have people in your life that can make you happy. happiness wasn't there anymore about 8 months ago. i knew my marriage was over when i could honestly say that i hated wayne. i can honestly say that more times that not if i was late from work coming home it was because i was at wal-mart with matt...
hanging out in the parking lot at work with everyone...
i hated to go home.
i was sick of him not doing a damn thing. and freaking out about nothing.
when you do nothing, and you sit around all fucking day your going to be miserable.

he never had a future for us planned... i tried. i wanted the family... i wanted the white house with a picket fence...
but nope.

with josh... it's weird... we talk about baby names... we like the same things... we don't get sick of each other.

so who knows... one day... when we aren't just friends with benefits.... haha...

there will be a Lilah Jean Addison running around.. that will be fucking cute as hell. both of our families make amazing babies.