LJ Idol Topic #7: Brew Ha Ha
Here is a transcript of the text on the images for people who can't see the images:
At the dawn of time,
before the rise of man,
before the great mammoth's might dominion,
even before the dinosaurs did battle with space lasers,
a mighty race reigned over all.
It was the era of the GIANT BEER.
Thriving in a primodial Eden, the giant beer lived in peace and harmony with its fellow beer for millenia.
But then, TRAGEDY struck.
Literally, because in this case, "tragedy" was a meteor.
And they didn't even have Bruce WIllis or Ben Affleck to save them.
And so they vanished, leaving no trace of their once-mighty civilization.
Millenia passed. Civilizations rose and fell.
And those great titans of yesteryear were all but forgotten,
reduced to a mere shadow in the form of their smaller, lesser descendants.
UNTIL:
In a secret submarine laboratory, somewhere in the Pacific,
A ground-breaking discovery was made that would CHANGE THE FACE OF HISTORY!
Revealing, perhaps for the first time, the KEY TO LIFE ITSELF!
A bacterium was studied replacing the phosphorous in its DNA with BEER!
This news ROCKED the scientific world!
And humankind rejoiced!
But then, on a dark night,
A band of deadly Vikings broke into the underwater lab and STOLE the beer-infused microbes!
One lucky bacterium gained sentience and escaped!
And hid in Detroit.
Nursed back to health by its newfound friend, Snookie Wookie Vandermeer the Third,the bacterium began a slow and arduous transformation.
BACK TO ITS FORMER GLORY!
THE GIANT BEER WALKED ONCE MORE!
The beer went on a deadly rampage,
destroying everything in its wake.
I am the last survivor.
I leave this record for those who may follow.
If there is anyone out there to receive my transmission,
May God be with you.
Bzzt.
Bzzt...
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