(no subject)
ahh so tired. i was at the pool at 730am to set up for the dive meet...which we won by 20 mind you. in the middle of it since i wasnt judging i backwashed..again. [our pool is totally ghetto!]
worked 2-9. it was hot as blazes today..not as crowded as i anticipated. which was good. john created an air conditioner out of a tub of ice a fan the top to the garbage can and some duct tape. it was heavenly.
work has been very frustrating lately. i cant cover someone elses shift if im working that day cause i might work more than 8 hours. neistrom keeps coming up with pointless rules for us and stupid things for us to do. and now i have some of the guards that simply love to bitch at me. i told lauren im like...what would you do if i quit? ...
hell what would you all do if i just quit life in general. simply gave up. its getting to be too tiring. between battling the assholes at work and the ones from school...its like FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT. it never ends. i hate the way they look at me and the way they think of me...its like the old group i hung out with...to them im a fucking disease. the line OH URGO WONT MIND is a daily occurance. its like what the fuck do i have to do to get some fucking respect around here...goddamnit i really regret not going to DC..i really do and i do right fucking now.
to everyone especially at work they see me as no more than a walking disease or a whore or whatever else...i dont think anyone really sees me as me anymore. and i hate it so much. is it my fault i have all that shit...no its not so why must it be thought as though it was my fault. does anyone out there even know me...i doubt it. so many people ditched me as i changed and so many refuse to change their view of me...so what the fuck is the point.
and i know how much im worth. apprently me asking for something of MINE in return is too much to ask. i got my motherfucking art project back now how about my nice UNTOUCHED expensive red musical instrument..what the fuck happened to that one?...if im handed yet another fucked up guitar...i cant even begin to tell you how pissed i will be...i wont be fun to deal. everyone around you will suffer. i want some respect goddamnit and i want it now.
i know it'll never happen why i waste my time trying ill never know. maybe im still hopeful for some absurd reason. oh well.
gah fuck it.
worked 2-9. it was hot as blazes today..not as crowded as i anticipated. which was good. john created an air conditioner out of a tub of ice a fan the top to the garbage can and some duct tape. it was heavenly.
work has been very frustrating lately. i cant cover someone elses shift if im working that day cause i might work more than 8 hours. neistrom keeps coming up with pointless rules for us and stupid things for us to do. and now i have some of the guards that simply love to bitch at me. i told lauren im like...what would you do if i quit? ...
hell what would you all do if i just quit life in general. simply gave up. its getting to be too tiring. between battling the assholes at work and the ones from school...its like FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT. it never ends. i hate the way they look at me and the way they think of me...its like the old group i hung out with...to them im a fucking disease. the line OH URGO WONT MIND is a daily occurance. its like what the fuck do i have to do to get some fucking respect around here...goddamnit i really regret not going to DC..i really do and i do right fucking now.
to everyone especially at work they see me as no more than a walking disease or a whore or whatever else...i dont think anyone really sees me as me anymore. and i hate it so much. is it my fault i have all that shit...no its not so why must it be thought as though it was my fault. does anyone out there even know me...i doubt it. so many people ditched me as i changed and so many refuse to change their view of me...so what the fuck is the point.
and i know how much im worth. apprently me asking for something of MINE in return is too much to ask. i got my motherfucking art project back now how about my nice UNTOUCHED expensive red musical instrument..what the fuck happened to that one?...if im handed yet another fucked up guitar...i cant even begin to tell you how pissed i will be...i wont be fun to deal. everyone around you will suffer. i want some respect goddamnit and i want it now.
i know it'll never happen why i waste my time trying ill never know. maybe im still hopeful for some absurd reason. oh well.
gah fuck it.