(no subject)
i hate sleep. i hate sleep. i hate sleep. so damn much. this summer, sleep has been absolutely totally useless and it's more stressful than anything else. i want more than anything to go right to sleep when i go to bed, but i really haven't lately. my days aren't stressful enough to get me to need the sleep and i have so much pent up energy, especially in my mind, that it just doesn't happen. late night tv and radio, totally awesome.
i'd be a foul dickhead to complain about anything. especially on such a stupid, dramatic, impersonal medium that has caused so much turmoil in the past and sadly enough, still does on a daily basis. people are cowardly.
i'm really glad i like music this summer. it's been fabulous, my musical experience this summer. hell, i had my mom singing "sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell" in the hallway today. surreal, but awesome. i also love people, all their subtle interactions in every medium. online, phone, in person, group conversation, personal conversation. it's great to see what defines a friendship and to see how strong said friendship really is. actually, very often the results are depressing. people live for themselves in the end, which is smart. themselves, and unrequited love. there's so much hope in it, and so rarely does it work out, or even get the potential to work out. fuck, i've paid my dues. the point is, at least, that if there are two broad things in the world that i love, it's music and people. other than those, what is there in the world? fancy sandwiches and tube socks, or something like that.
i want absolutely no reaction to this entry, there's nothing i've written in here that isn't for myself. that's probably a lie, but i care less about this entry than pretty much every other one i've ever done. i'm gonna have to think of things to entertain myself next week. i need to see matt collins, i haven't seen that kid, truly talked to him, in such a damn long time. now that i killed bakesale, i hope things will finally be back to normal with us. they are with me and ryan again, and i'm really happy about it. it makes me wonder, was it me? both of us? just him? probably me, i can't be in a band with close friends. i should just go solo. i don't care enough to change the world with music at this point.
this summer is unreal. you won't see this till you get back, but i'll miss you.
i'm so awake.
i'd be a foul dickhead to complain about anything. especially on such a stupid, dramatic, impersonal medium that has caused so much turmoil in the past and sadly enough, still does on a daily basis. people are cowardly.
i'm really glad i like music this summer. it's been fabulous, my musical experience this summer. hell, i had my mom singing "sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell" in the hallway today. surreal, but awesome. i also love people, all their subtle interactions in every medium. online, phone, in person, group conversation, personal conversation. it's great to see what defines a friendship and to see how strong said friendship really is. actually, very often the results are depressing. people live for themselves in the end, which is smart. themselves, and unrequited love. there's so much hope in it, and so rarely does it work out, or even get the potential to work out. fuck, i've paid my dues. the point is, at least, that if there are two broad things in the world that i love, it's music and people. other than those, what is there in the world? fancy sandwiches and tube socks, or something like that.
i want absolutely no reaction to this entry, there's nothing i've written in here that isn't for myself. that's probably a lie, but i care less about this entry than pretty much every other one i've ever done. i'm gonna have to think of things to entertain myself next week. i need to see matt collins, i haven't seen that kid, truly talked to him, in such a damn long time. now that i killed bakesale, i hope things will finally be back to normal with us. they are with me and ryan again, and i'm really happy about it. it makes me wonder, was it me? both of us? just him? probably me, i can't be in a band with close friends. i should just go solo. i don't care enough to change the world with music at this point.
this summer is unreal. you won't see this till you get back, but i'll miss you.
i'm so awake.