wow, this is it. this is an absolute breaking point. this is the point of no return, the inevitable destination, the journey and the climax of absolutely nothing in particular. this is self-realization
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I think this is going to be the place i post this huge comment
anonymous
January 6 2005, 01:38:57 UTC
Saturday, May 1st, 2004 8:30p - "the revolution will be live that's right everyone, john godfrey is yet another bandwagon jumper-oner. i'm not particularly sure why I decided to get a livejournal as a successor to my blurty, but hey, i need some sort of distraction. I need to get things out as much as everyone else does, and who ever listens? very, very few people, and those who do are often taken advantage of. but that's a whole other story. I'm gonna try not to use this thing as purely a bitch-page and focus on more positive, or at the least cynical and analytical things in life. I refuse to say how much life sucks, i have no girlfriend, and i want to die a painful death and no one would care, that crap is unnecessary and moreso selfish than anything else. APPRECIATION IS ONE OF THE KEYS OF LIFE. HMMM.
I might as well update about what's been going on lately, what else would the point of these be. Friday was an interesting day, as I went on a fun little search for my report card, ending up in an office i didn't even know existed, and i had to pay for my lost locker lock that i didn't even remember i lost. good to see weymouth high is keeping track of the important things in life. anyway, my grades were good, all A's and a B in math cause sprague is a tool. hey, it works. the rest of the day was pretty much similar. it would be great to have some interesting people to talk to in school now and then, but i swear some of my classes have the per capita dullness of a forest of spruce trees. i think this causes people to completely misinterpret me because of this. this boredom makes me feel so negative and dull, but i'd love to talk to so many people, and the potential i feel is constantly strong. but there's an almost unstoppable catch. the first boost of initiative is so hard to come by. most people respond to a random IM with scorn, rarely giving the person a chance to be accepted and actually talk back to them, start a conversation. i just wish the right person or people would do that for me, because i'll be the most welcoming person you'll ever meet. anyone who unfortunately reads this, do not be afraid to talk to me, in whatever aspects...online, in person, anything. all i want is change, and expansion, and to feel better about things and less lonely, cause it's unbearable a lot of the time.
Re: I think this is going to be the place i post this huge comment
anonymous
January 6 2005, 01:40:12 UTC
let's see. then there was the show last night, which went pretty well for the most part. it sucks that some people weren't let in, and people who cared about the music and not the 9th grade screaming girls who want mr. doherty, arthur, sunnerberg, vautrinot, mcghee, cummings; actually just about everyone has someone who has a disgustingly useless and relatively grotesque affinity towards them. the irony is, if these people like the band members so much, why not talk to them? i guess that's part of the fun. all of the bands did well. the duet has some cool sounds, and i loved their last song. they'll continue to grow. five seconds ago i'll certainly miss, and they kicked ass for their last time on stage. for the space we were confined to, they rocked it as hard as possible. they're fun to watch, and will continue to be under the moniker "suicide koolaid" with jimmy cotter, the greatest kid in the universe, as their new lead singer. i really hope it works out, and all of cosmic can't wait to play shows with them. cosmic, i'm not sure how we did. we need so much work, but i'm proud of what we've been able to accomplish. my bassing was iffy, but i think the green shorts made up for it. a couple things bugged me towards the end. first off, my dad decided to show up to the show, which is cool, but...he stood right in the crowd, like behind a group of girls who were like scared of him (he was the huge guy in the yellow shirt, in case those who read this are interested.) I was embarrassed to no end, and it kinda killed my mood entirely. i held myself up most of the day, but that ended it. by the show's end i completely wanted to leave, and not see anyone. but just the same, i wanted to talk to everyone, and socialize. i wanted to take initiative and try to build up some new friendships, even in small little pieces, but i was in such a deadened and rushed mood that what could i do? of course when i told my dad, he got mad at me entirely and i was really a mess by the time i got home. jimmy fixed me up though, as usual. where the hell would i be without him, i'll never know.
i've written too much, so i'll leave out today. I'm just gonna end this with a repetition of what i've said earlier in this. i want to be your friend, just about all of you, whatever "you" might be, because i will be a rewarding one if i receive the same in return. it may seem egotistical to say that, but i think i have something to offer. i want people to make me think, or actually make me laugh, or prevent me from being lonely. i can't take it for much longer, going about the way i'm going. i want to get to know so many people, because i want change. i want things to expand and get better, and i want to be recognized for what i truly am. few people know who i am, even those i know best might not know. i don't hate anyone, minus, say...1? i think i'm a good person, and i'd love nothing more for this to be a summer like no other. i need to feel satisfied.
what a monster post. don't read it. thanks to dana for the journal name, and for recommending big fish (i bought it today plan on watching it tonight.)" -IT'S CLUE, ALSO REALLY COOL TO LOOK AT NOW AND SEE HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED
8:30p - "the revolution will be live
that's right everyone, john godfrey is yet another bandwagon jumper-oner. i'm not particularly sure why I decided to get a livejournal as a successor to my blurty, but hey, i need some sort of distraction. I need to get things out as much as everyone else does, and who ever listens? very, very few people, and those who do are often taken advantage of. but that's a whole other story. I'm gonna try not to use this thing as purely a bitch-page and focus on more positive, or at the least cynical and analytical things in life. I refuse to say how much life sucks, i have no girlfriend, and i want to die a painful death and no one would care, that crap is unnecessary and moreso selfish than anything else. APPRECIATION IS ONE OF THE KEYS OF LIFE. HMMM.
I might as well update about what's been going on lately, what else would the point of these be. Friday was an interesting day, as I went on a fun little search for my report card, ending up in an office i didn't even know existed, and i had to pay for my lost locker lock that i didn't even remember i lost. good to see weymouth high is keeping track of the important things in life. anyway, my grades were good, all A's and a B in math cause sprague is a tool. hey, it works. the rest of the day was pretty much similar. it would be great to have some interesting people to talk to in school now and then, but i swear some of my classes have the per capita dullness of a forest of spruce trees. i think this causes people to completely misinterpret me because of this. this boredom makes me feel so negative and dull, but i'd love to talk to so many people, and the potential i feel is constantly strong. but there's an almost unstoppable catch. the first boost of initiative is so hard to come by. most people respond to a random IM with scorn, rarely giving the person a chance to be accepted and actually talk back to them, start a conversation. i just wish the right person or people would do that for me, because i'll be the most welcoming person you'll ever meet. anyone who unfortunately reads this, do not be afraid to talk to me, in whatever aspects...online, in person, anything. all i want is change, and expansion, and to feel better about things and less lonely, cause it's unbearable a lot of the time.
i'm writing a lot.
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a couple things bugged me towards the end. first off, my dad decided to show up to the show, which is cool, but...he stood right in the crowd, like behind a group of girls who were like scared of him (he was the huge guy in the yellow shirt, in case those who read this are interested.) I was embarrassed to no end, and it kinda killed my mood entirely. i held myself up most of the day, but that ended it. by the show's end i completely wanted to leave, and not see anyone. but just the same, i wanted to talk to everyone, and socialize. i wanted to take initiative and try to build up some new friendships, even in small little pieces, but i was in such a deadened and rushed mood that what could i do? of course when i told my dad, he got mad at me entirely and i was really a mess by the time i got home. jimmy fixed me up though, as usual. where the hell would i be without him, i'll never know.
i've written too much, so i'll leave out today. I'm just gonna end this with a repetition of what i've said earlier in this. i want to be your friend, just about all of you, whatever "you" might be, because i will be a rewarding one if i receive the same in return. it may seem egotistical to say that, but i think i have something to offer. i want people to make me think, or actually make me laugh, or prevent me from being lonely. i can't take it for much longer, going about the way i'm going. i want to get to know so many people, because i want change. i want things to expand and get better, and i want to be recognized for what i truly am. few people know who i am, even those i know best might not know. i don't hate anyone, minus, say...1? i think i'm a good person, and i'd love nothing more for this to be a summer like no other. i need to feel satisfied.
what a monster post. don't read it.
thanks to dana for the journal name, and for recommending big fish (i bought it today plan on watching it tonight.)"
-IT'S CLUE, ALSO REALLY COOL TO LOOK AT NOW AND SEE HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED
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