Apr 04, 2005 14:24
I have been waiting for a month for this squirrel to dissolve in water. I couldn't afford the disgrace of dumping it onto the ground and watching its body lurch and its teeth chatter. There is such ghoulishness now that i might drag its back legs after it, such desperation that i might rub its shoulders or brush its lips to bring it back to life.
you who rushed home to masturbate, you who touched the same red flower every day, you know how i must skirt this lawn to avoid the barrel. you know how i live in silence.
you who knelt on the frozen leaves, you know how dark it got under the ice; you know how hard it was to live with hatred, how long it took to convert death and sadness into beautiful singing.