(no subject)
Some weeks ago Jay and I made a pact to not shave until the 19th of January. This would result in our facial hair growing for quite a while. But stupid life threw me a curve ball in the shape of a job in a shoe shop causing me to have to shave my hairy face. The thought "this couldn't have come at a worse time" genuinely went through my mind. However there was a short glimpse of fun and frolics just before the death of my almost beard because Danny had put the idea of joining him and Matt in their stupid little ratty goatee (that's right, both!) beard wearing. I did this thinking that I'd look like silly James with a silly goatee and it would be funny and fun and heart warming. Instead it made me look like a cunt/prick/bastard/arsehole. Kind of a silly metal head beard and I was incredibly upset. And I've broken the pact which I'm very sad about.
I went to Mad 4 Fones this afternoon to unlock an old handset so that Elsa could use it until she's given an upgrade. I went into the shop, the bloke took the phone (or fone) to the back and swiftly fixed. He then said that there would be a £10 charge. I realised I had no wallet with me and so I was unable to pay. But that's kind of an embarrassing thing to admit to a person in the real world so I made myself look tired by sort of drooping my eyes and rubbing my forehead and said "sorry man I've left all my stuff at home I'm a bit scatty today I've been all over the place" in a we're all human's aren't we, we have off days way. In reality I'd attended a lecture, eaten a leisurely lunch, had a meeting with a seminar leader, sat around for almost an hour watching my new DVD and buying a frozen macaroni cheese. He sort of went "Oh I know what you mean" and told me I could leave the handset there over night and I walked off with a hearty thumbs up feeling like one of the lads. I then tried to phone elsa to tell her all that I had learned about the phone before realising that her sim card was in the phone and, feeling stupid, I went back to the shop. I said I that I'd left the Sim Card like a silly billy and he said he was sure he'd given it to me but he checked it anyway. It turned out that the sim card was in the phone and he said "I'm the scatty one now". So the joke was on him. The cunt.
Not being a fan of plastic bags in this time environmental decline I decided to carry the frozen mac and cheese in my bare hand. I already felt quite self-conscious about it as I left the shop but once I was sat at the bus stop with it on my lap I felt pathetic. I also felt guilty for all the times I'd made assumptions about other people I see in sorry situations. I'm low on money right now and the delicious looking pasta bake I'd made yesterday was baked in a dish that was full of washing up liquid making the it one of the most disgusting meals I'd ever tasted (when I scratched it into the bin I obviously thought about all the African children who don't even have Fairy Liquid). This unfortunate occurrence (that was my fault for using a dirty baking dish which I just filled with washing up liquid days before instead of washing it up) meant I had no dinner to eat and so I just picked up whatever I could afford. I'm just a man and I need to eat. If I didn't eat I would die. And all those teenagers who were shouting and pushing each other at the bus stop and glancing at me and thinking things of me would lose their happy smiles pretty fucking quick if they saw me dying of starvation in the filthy street.
I went to Mad 4 Fones this afternoon to unlock an old handset so that Elsa could use it until she's given an upgrade. I went into the shop, the bloke took the phone (or fone) to the back and swiftly fixed. He then said that there would be a £10 charge. I realised I had no wallet with me and so I was unable to pay. But that's kind of an embarrassing thing to admit to a person in the real world so I made myself look tired by sort of drooping my eyes and rubbing my forehead and said "sorry man I've left all my stuff at home I'm a bit scatty today I've been all over the place" in a we're all human's aren't we, we have off days way. In reality I'd attended a lecture, eaten a leisurely lunch, had a meeting with a seminar leader, sat around for almost an hour watching my new DVD and buying a frozen macaroni cheese. He sort of went "Oh I know what you mean" and told me I could leave the handset there over night and I walked off with a hearty thumbs up feeling like one of the lads. I then tried to phone elsa to tell her all that I had learned about the phone before realising that her sim card was in the phone and, feeling stupid, I went back to the shop. I said I that I'd left the Sim Card like a silly billy and he said he was sure he'd given it to me but he checked it anyway. It turned out that the sim card was in the phone and he said "I'm the scatty one now". So the joke was on him. The cunt.
Not being a fan of plastic bags in this time environmental decline I decided to carry the frozen mac and cheese in my bare hand. I already felt quite self-conscious about it as I left the shop but once I was sat at the bus stop with it on my lap I felt pathetic. I also felt guilty for all the times I'd made assumptions about other people I see in sorry situations. I'm low on money right now and the delicious looking pasta bake I'd made yesterday was baked in a dish that was full of washing up liquid making the it one of the most disgusting meals I'd ever tasted (when I scratched it into the bin I obviously thought about all the African children who don't even have Fairy Liquid). This unfortunate occurrence (that was my fault for using a dirty baking dish which I just filled with washing up liquid days before instead of washing it up) meant I had no dinner to eat and so I just picked up whatever I could afford. I'm just a man and I need to eat. If I didn't eat I would die. And all those teenagers who were shouting and pushing each other at the bus stop and glancing at me and thinking things of me would lose their happy smiles pretty fucking quick if they saw me dying of starvation in the filthy street.