My absolute favourite chain posting ever.
Firstly, I know the whole 'making fun of chain mail' thing has been done to death, I know this. But sometimes you come across something so awesomely terrible, it seems a shame not to share it.
I found this pasted into the comments on a random facebook groups wall recently, while "researching an upcoming blogpost" (see: Reading strangers profiles while naked and weeping. It's a legitimate research method).
Cassie and her friend were at home with there older sister. Their older sister was planing on going out, and told them to not answer the door for anyone and to keep everything locked. Cassie and her friend went online looking at scary chain letters and laughing at how they weren't ever true. The didn’t believe in any of the chains and went to bed. Unfortunately, they forgot to lock the doors. Cassie’s friend had been murdered in the middle of the night. Quickly and frightened, Cassie went and reposted every chain letter they had read. After waking up in the morning she saw something that looked like a face that was very red staring back at her in the mirror. But did not see her face. She ran down stairs and looked in a different mirror. Still seeing the same face she touched hers. She then looked at her hand and it was covered in something red and watery. Her skin was burned and bloody. News around her town had told about the murder of Cassie’s friend. Cassie’s sister arrived home later that night, not yet seeing the news. Cassie told her sister what had happened and her sister was in denial. Her sister reported that Cassie had gone insane and put her into a Mental Hospital. Years past, and Cassie had died of a rare disease. Cassie came back for revenge towards her sister and the murderer. The murderer was never found. Nearly hours after Cassie’s revenge her sister was found dead. The man who found Cassie’s sister bloody with stab wounds on the floor spotted a faint, red, shadow. This was Cassie’s shadow. The man heard a whisper and he could make out small words saying “You didn’t see anything.”
If you don’t repost this chain to at least 6 people in the next 10 minutes, Cassie will haunt you too. This is not fake. Don’t believe me? Read below.
Case 1: Ashley Duran read this. She hates chains and ignored this. The next night, Ashley’s parents couldn’t find her. They could see blood in the shape of her body in her bed. Her mother killed herself and her father was guilty of murder.
Case 2: Jessica saw this this chain. She posted it to just 5 people. Not good enough, Jessica. Not good enough. Jessica is currently in a coma and she may never wake up again... Case 3: Justin Carehard only read a little bit of the story. He didn’t post it at all. There have been searches for him. Nobody ever saw a fingerprint or anything. There is no sign of him. Almost as if he has vanished into thin air 1997 a girl named Lauren was walking in a forest and suddenly disappeared; she hadn't been discovered untill 2000 when a young girl named Mary found Lauren's body which had chest markings that said, "I wasn't pretty enough." Lauren's ghost will appear in your mirror, telling you that you're not pretty enough and she will kill you. She'll will repeatedly tell you" The same happened to Mary, and she died shortly... Visa mer... Vis mere... See more...
after. To save yourself, copy and paste this into five other band's comment boxes. THIS IS TRUE! Since you have started reading this, do not stop. Keep in mind that you need to send this to five other bands in 143 minutes. When you're finished, press "F6" and your crush's name
will appear on your computer screen in big letters as a "reward" for preventing yourself from being killed
Where to start? The meta-ness of a chain letter who's bloodcurdling back story centers on a girl who ignored, like, a whole bunch of forward emails? ALL of which were cursed? SACRE BLEU! At least, I think that's what I'm sacre bleu-ing over. This whole damn thing is so fucking poorly written, I'm not sure what part I'm supposed to be scared of - Cassie? Lauren? My Crush? I do kind of respect that little piece of spam genre mashing - it's frightacular, sure, but ultimately romantic and hopeful. Just like the end of 'Braindead'. Speaking of brain dead (ooohh snap, made up girl in chain letter!) have you ever heard of someone who's first, panic stricken move upon finding the slain corpse of their friend is to immediately re-post any outstanding forward mails? Maybe that's the reason her sister had her committed, and not the fact that her face just, you know...was... burnt...?
The "Don't believe me? EVIDENCE TIME!" stuff that always accompany these things is always slightly suspect at best, but I really do love the case studies we get here - like the poor sod who only forwarded it on 5 times, and went into a coma! Yeah, nice try bitch, but Cassie seriously wants to take advantage of the social networking capabilities of facebook, and 5 just ain't gonna cut it. While we're on the subject, where is all this evidence coming from? Are they plucking it from the news stories that the rest of us just miss?
"Family of five slain in mysterious and utterly spooky circumstances. Sources indicate that daughter "may have ignored cursed chain letter"'
Anyway, I realise that posting this to my blog only satisfies like, 4 of the 6 viewings I need at the very most. That's why I've cursed this post. Um, yeah, sorry about that dudes. Probably should've mentioned it before. So, get some one else to read this, at some stage during the rest of your life, or the image of my bare chest convulsing with sobs as I look at pictures of you will haaauuunnnt you dreeeaaammmsss foreeeevvvvveeeer...