I FIGURED IT OUT WE ARE ALL JUST BACTERIA
So I'm reading about how cholera bacteria have adapted so they don't kill their hosts nearly as often anymore, and it makes me think that bacteria are extremely intelligent, can think, and can problem-solve. (Like raptors... My room has three potential exits, by the way, thank you Randall Munroe.) They've evolved so that they don't cause as severe symptoms, but are still able to potentially infect the same number of people.
WHAT IF PEOPLE ARE BACTERIA AND THE EARTH IS THE HOST
Global warming = fever, an immune response trying to burn the germs to death, triggered by germs' own actions. We're trying to reduce the effects of the fever, so we don't kill the host, and therefore don't kill ourselves.
Space stations, shuttles, probes, satellites, etc. = coughs and sneezes, more microbial efforts to spread to other hosts.
Evidence of water on Mars = possible evidence of previous infection, like chicken pox scars.
This is totally the answer.
WHAT IF PEOPLE ARE BACTERIA AND THE EARTH IS THE HOST
Global warming = fever, an immune response trying to burn the germs to death, triggered by germs' own actions. We're trying to reduce the effects of the fever, so we don't kill the host, and therefore don't kill ourselves.
Space stations, shuttles, probes, satellites, etc. = coughs and sneezes, more microbial efforts to spread to other hosts.
Evidence of water on Mars = possible evidence of previous infection, like chicken pox scars.
This is totally the answer.