Final Fantasy XIII fic, Struck by Lightning 23 (On Either Ends of a Teeter-totter)
title: Struck by Lightning chapter 23
author: caledon (the_tower_room)
pairing: Hope/Lightning, various
rating: M
summary: AU. Six years have passed, and Hope moved to the city where he first met his destiny. Everything should fall into place now that he was back and grown up. Now, if only she would stop resisting...
words: 2957
He had a dream of eternity.
...Or at least what could be achieved of the concept of eternity when the average lifespan of a human being was factored in...
And in that dream he was by her side. They were surrounded by the family that they made together. His heart was full. And he would like to believe hers was as well...but with her-and considering his streak when it came to reading her-who really could tell?
Hope stared unseeing at the data on the screen, diagrams for his and Maqui's Project Alexander twisting and turning like a pudgy screensaver as he drummed his fingers on the side of his laptop. For the past few hours he'd been trying to immerse himself with the work he'd brought with him for the trip, to semi-successful avail.
On the drive back to Bodhum, Noel was behind the wheel and Hope was at the passenger seat while the three women sat at the back. The silver-haired wasn't really surprised by this arrangement; Noel seemed to have had the prescience to sense that Vanille's attention would still be fixed upon yesterday's shopping adventure, opting to remove himself from being forced to cooperate on the discussion of the matter by offering to drive. His girlfriend didn't seem to mind this temporary spatial separation since she'd decided to sit behind him and curl her fingers in his hair or tap them on his shoulders every now and then. This actually proved to be a distraction, but thankfully he'd turned the autopilot on and just sat back to enjoy her ministrations, though still keeping his conversational contribution at a minimum on what ever subject she and Serah were going on about in the back (mostly still about the bridal and bridesmaid's dresses, with the occasional brainstorming about the wedding plans thrown in).
Serah, of course, sat in the middle as Lightning wouldn't forgive anyone if she'd had to sit between the two younger women and be in the way of their constant gossip-mongering and squealing and seemingly undying babbling excitement. She'd settled herself behind the front passenger seat, and Hope had felt nothing but the crackle of electric sparks at the back of his neck throughout the ride. He would like to believe she had been looking at him, imagining that she felt safer to stare at him from behind the boundary of his headrest where he couldn't be awarded the opportunity to stare back for fear of inciting unwanted questions from their companions. There was nothing like his namesake to keep him going when it came to her, no matter how pathetic his adoptive brother would find it should Noel discover their actual situation.
Hope couldn't say he wasn't expecting the awkwardness and the distance, but it hurt all the same. Her eyes never quite met his when they greeted each other for breakfast that morning, like a nervous hummingbird fleeting away from a flower it couldn't quite decide whether it liked the taste of or not. She had been civil, offering a quick, stilted 'hello', though never bothering to listen if he answered back before turning to his mother, then his brother, then her sister and her sister's friend. All other attempts to engage some sort of communication with Lightning had been met with avoidance, even when he'd found her by herself as he ascended the steps to the guest's wing to help the others bring down their luggage-finally an opportune moment to themselves, he'd thought. But as she carried her bag down the stairs from her room, she had sidestepped around him with barely a glance and her name died on his lips as she passed him by.
Briefly, he entertained the thought that she didn't find his performance last night at all adequate, that was why she had fled his bed while he slept. But if that had been the case, she wouldn't have stayed for a second round and would have been gone immediately after the first, his male ego was quick to point out. Hope knew Lightning to be the type who would immediately be vocal and demonstrative if something displeased her as she had done so prior to them sleeping together, so he could only surmise as a last resort that this was all for the sake of the ruse. Something that he hadn't been entirely happy about in the first place...but if that was what it took to be with her, then as she wished he would uphold it. It was an optimistic notion he could grasp on to, denying that he was in denial. They couldn't already be over so soon after they had just begun.
Perhaps though it was their conversation about his daydream about their hypothetical children that had sent her running. He had, after all, quickly jumped a little too far ahead in imagining the future. In reality he would have kept the daydream to himself and she would've been unaware of the matter for how ever long their sort-of-kind-of relationship lasted but for her insistence in him telling her.
And now here they were.
This time around, after having had a taste of Lightning, the flans that once were excellent in providing distraction now proved to be futile. Gnarly arms and scowling gelatinous features no longer enticed his intellect, and even looking up random monsters from the online encyclopedia in his laptop to sway his interest proved ineffective (well, except for that one article about a fluke in natural selection when a Megistotherian and a Behemoth King actually managed to produce an offspring, confounding scientists as they'd simply thought the two were fighting over a territory in the Archylte Steppe close to the Mah'habara Subterra and not hitherto performing a mating dance. That one actually held Hope's interest, if only for a moment).
He had never been one to shirk from mentally cataloguing the relationships he'd had, how ever few they were. Vanille and Serah together were in that in-between space of friendship and puppy love, never meant to be serious, just something novel and innocent and different from the usual summer holiday from school, simply hanging out together to help pass the time. After he started attending the Academy, he'd gone out on dates (group and individual ones alike), experienced the usual hijinks teenagers were wont to partake in when they were on their own, snogging and groping at parties and all. It wasn't until Elida approached him and initiated their nearly three years together that he'd began to entertain taking advantage of the benefits that having a real relationship with someone could entail, making play at domesticity and togetherness since the girl of his dreams that he'd been pining for in Bodhum was simply that, a dream, and that she was made even more unattainable by being in another world (Cocoon), whereas Elida was with him in Gran Pulse, in the flesh and in love with him, and more than willing to show him how much. After Elida left, he'd had a mix of beneficial friends and one-night stands, few and far between in the intervening year as he nursed wounded pride and broken heart, temporary reprieves to fill the hole in his chest.
If he'd learned anything from his past relationships, the sad sorry number that they were, it was that their endings proved to be great catalysts to what he'd been able to achieve for the Academy (among the best examples was the car that his brother was now (not really) driving). Nothing like a breakup to steer his mind in directions he never would have had otherwise.
Halfway to Bodhum, they'd alighted on the same rest stop as before, and Hope snapped his laptop closed and deposited it into the backpack resting at his feet. He stepped out of the car to stretch his legs, making sure not to turn when he heard Lightning do the same behind him.
Being so close to her and yet unable to touch, unable to gaze, he felt like that hero from an old tale who'd lost his love to death soon after their wedding, who'd gone to the world of the dead to retrieve her and was given permission to take her back on the condition that he must not look back to check if she followed him, only to lose her again in the end when he succumbed to the doubts nagging in his mind and looked back before she had a chance to step into the world of the living.
There really was nothing to stop him from turning except for his own uncertainties. But a heart that had had only a year to mend was still tender, and most especially since it had recently been in the presence of the one that had broken it in the first place, no matter the closure he felt he'd gotten from meeting with Elida yesterday. Perhaps he'd handed his heart out to Lightning a little too soon, and he was finding out more and more that he couldn't seem to help himself when it came to her. Even a tiny morsel of her attention and affection seemed to be enough for him to cast away all his resolve and resolutions. Too much of himself given away in so short a time, hardly ever giving her a chance to requite in kind.
Hands in his pockets, Hope made way for the closest building, intentionally heading in the opposite direction from the memorable playground that started everything, leaving the chatter of his companions behind as they argued about where to go first.
Cool air blasted at him as he stepped through the sliding doors. It seemed he'd gone into a department store-he hadn't been paying attention to the signs splayed on the building's front. Shrugging, he picked a random aisle to browse through. Green eyes were greeted with what seemed to be women's clothing, advertising the latest popular trends and colours, remembering Elida had worn something similar yesterday.
He quickly changed his direction to another aisle. In this one, magazines were displayed on the shelves, and he was surprised to find a few on boomerangs among them. Maqui will like that, he thought as he spied one of his co-worker's favourite models on a cover. Plucking it from the shelf, Hope studied the woman. She wore a black miniskirt and a white halter top, her eyes were downcast and her dark hair swung behind her, the end tied in a dolphin tail that peeked out from her side. One hand pulled at the gloved other that was holding what seemed to be the Vidofnir boomerang.
"'Tifa Tells All,'" Hope read the title of the main article. "'About her life as this year's champion of the Boomerang League and her whirlwind elopement to her childhood friend.' Wow, Maqui's gonna be heartbroken. He had such a huge crush on her."
Maybe it's not such a good idea to get this for him, then, thought Hope, indecisive about whether to still buy it or not, flipping the pages and glimpsing articles on how to best care for boomerangs and news updates on the latest ones that would be coming out, eyes lighting up as he saw that the Tezcatlipoca model was going to rereleased and could be preordered from the magazine. But then again, he'll find out about it sooner or later. And since I have to have this limited edition boomerang in my collection, he doesn't really need to see this particular magazine anyway.
Flipping it closed, a small smile puckered one corner of his mouth. Nothing like retail therapy to keep your mind off of things.
Hurriedly tucking the magazine under his arm, he was about to reach out for the remaining others on boomerangs when he stumbled as someone pounced on him from behind.
"Hey!" greeted Noel, thumping on his shoulders as Hope struggled to right himself.
Looking over his shoulder, the elder of the two greeted back. "Oh. Hey. What's up?"
"Nothing much." The other stood back, waving a finger at him. "You just went off on your own, so I thought to check what's up with you. You've been quiet during the entire ride."
The silver-haired tried to smooth out the resulting wrinkles from the magazine in his hold. "Just had some work to catch up on," came the swift reply, glad he had a ready and believable alibi from having his laptop display his current project for his father's company.
The brunet rolled his eyes as he shook his head. "Bro, the point of this trip was to get you away from work."
"No, the point was to use my car to take our friends shopping, as I recall."
"Well, yeah, originally."
"And besides, it was just my car that was supposed to go with you in the first place. Though seeing mom and eating her cooking again was pretty great."
"There you go, at least this trip wasn't an entire waste."
"Yeah. I guess."
Noel narrowed his blue eyes at him, nodding to the item in his hands. "Besides, that doesn't look like work to me."
Hope allowed a smirk to splay on his lips. "It's for Maqui."
"Sure it is."
"She's his favourite girl who happens to be holding his favourite boomerang."
The younger man shook his head, muttering what sounded like 'that's just sad' under his breath. Then he cleared his throat and shuffled close as he crossed his arms. "So."
Hope couldn't help but be on guard at the sudden shift in tone. He kept his expression impassive in the hopes of betraying nothing of the turmoil that had been brewing within him for most of the day. "Yes?"
"Did you see-I mean, what happ-how did it turn out? You and you-know-who?"
Oh, that one. Okay. The silver-haired shrugged, giving off an air of carelessness. "Pretty well, all things considered."
Noel started, eyes widening even as his brows lowered in a frown. "Wait, does that mean you two are back together?"
With a vehement shake of his head, Hope uttered, "No."
The younger man released a sigh of relief. "Well, that's good. Great. I mean, okay. Wonderful." He patted his older brother on the back, trying to withhold a smile from fully forming on his lips. "That's awesome. Whew."
Hope narrowed his eyes and perused him suspiciously. "Glad you seem happy about it."
"Oh no, I just...it's a good thing. For everyone. You know?"
The silver-haired merely grunted his dubiousness in reply, which prompted the younger brother elaborate...to no great effect.
"I mean you two have been over for a while, and it should stay like that because you're clearly into different things, and she's into different things. And there's just too many differences, you know? And I just don't want to see her hurt you again, man. So yeah."
Hope mirrored Noel's stance and crossed his arms. "You seem awfully invested in us not getting back together. I'm sensing that there's something else. What is this really about?"
"Nothing. Just glad you're finally moving on. That's all."
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I just figured it's time for you to go for someone else. That's all."
"Rrriiigght."
"Like someone really close. Like in the close-confines-of-a-car-sitting-behind-you-type-of-proximity close." He waggled his eyebrows. "Your reason for coming to Bodhum, you know. That's all."
The silver-haired's lips pursed as he contemplated. "There isn't some betting pool going on about the love life you're imagining me to have, is there?"
Noel coughed and looked away, scoffing. "No idea what you're talking about, bro."
"How much did you bet?"
"Dunno what you're talking about."
"I suppose I wouldn't be surprised on who else is in on this."
Noel spread his hands as he shook his head. "You're not really making any sense. You're imagining things. We have better stuff to do than to try to hook you up with a certain someone and make bets on it or anything."
Hope hit him on the head with the magazine.
"What the hell?! What was that for?" asked the brunet as he nursed his head.
"Well, I can tell you right now that none of you are going to win."
The younger man lowered his arms, blue eyes narrowing, all his pretenses dropping. "You sound really sure of yourself."
"Of course I am. No one knows me better than me."
"We'll see. Plenty of time for sparks-" He laughed, shaking his head at the pun, "-to fly. Never say never, as they say."
"Well, that 'never' will last, trust me." With that parting line, Hope turned and made his way to the cashier, feeling a heaviness closing around his heart, and his grip tightened around the magazine to prevent himself from clutching at his chest. He hated the insecurity and uncertainty that had been hanging over him even as he tried not to succumb to his emotions. But with every passing hour with nary a word or a glance from Lightning, it was agony. He was haunted by more than kisses, more than touch: with the taste he had been given last night, how he yearned for more.
For the first time, he began to second-guess his decision in picking the Bodhum branch of Estheim Industries over the ones in Eden and Palumpolum. He wasn't sure if the wisdom behind the saying "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" could be truly trusted. Because then he wouldn't be in this predicament. He would have remained forever blissfully unaware of what it was like to have been in the arms of the woman who had ensnared his heart six years ago.
And to have no memory of that, Hope reckoned, that would've been the more ideal dream of eternity.
==================================================
previous chapter | next chapter
author: caledon (the_tower_room)
pairing: Hope/Lightning, various
rating: M
summary: AU. Six years have passed, and Hope moved to the city where he first met his destiny. Everything should fall into place now that he was back and grown up. Now, if only she would stop resisting...
words: 2957
He had a dream of eternity.
...Or at least what could be achieved of the concept of eternity when the average lifespan of a human being was factored in...
And in that dream he was by her side. They were surrounded by the family that they made together. His heart was full. And he would like to believe hers was as well...but with her-and considering his streak when it came to reading her-who really could tell?
Hope stared unseeing at the data on the screen, diagrams for his and Maqui's Project Alexander twisting and turning like a pudgy screensaver as he drummed his fingers on the side of his laptop. For the past few hours he'd been trying to immerse himself with the work he'd brought with him for the trip, to semi-successful avail.
On the drive back to Bodhum, Noel was behind the wheel and Hope was at the passenger seat while the three women sat at the back. The silver-haired wasn't really surprised by this arrangement; Noel seemed to have had the prescience to sense that Vanille's attention would still be fixed upon yesterday's shopping adventure, opting to remove himself from being forced to cooperate on the discussion of the matter by offering to drive. His girlfriend didn't seem to mind this temporary spatial separation since she'd decided to sit behind him and curl her fingers in his hair or tap them on his shoulders every now and then. This actually proved to be a distraction, but thankfully he'd turned the autopilot on and just sat back to enjoy her ministrations, though still keeping his conversational contribution at a minimum on what ever subject she and Serah were going on about in the back (mostly still about the bridal and bridesmaid's dresses, with the occasional brainstorming about the wedding plans thrown in).
Serah, of course, sat in the middle as Lightning wouldn't forgive anyone if she'd had to sit between the two younger women and be in the way of their constant gossip-mongering and squealing and seemingly undying babbling excitement. She'd settled herself behind the front passenger seat, and Hope had felt nothing but the crackle of electric sparks at the back of his neck throughout the ride. He would like to believe she had been looking at him, imagining that she felt safer to stare at him from behind the boundary of his headrest where he couldn't be awarded the opportunity to stare back for fear of inciting unwanted questions from their companions. There was nothing like his namesake to keep him going when it came to her, no matter how pathetic his adoptive brother would find it should Noel discover their actual situation.
Hope couldn't say he wasn't expecting the awkwardness and the distance, but it hurt all the same. Her eyes never quite met his when they greeted each other for breakfast that morning, like a nervous hummingbird fleeting away from a flower it couldn't quite decide whether it liked the taste of or not. She had been civil, offering a quick, stilted 'hello', though never bothering to listen if he answered back before turning to his mother, then his brother, then her sister and her sister's friend. All other attempts to engage some sort of communication with Lightning had been met with avoidance, even when he'd found her by herself as he ascended the steps to the guest's wing to help the others bring down their luggage-finally an opportune moment to themselves, he'd thought. But as she carried her bag down the stairs from her room, she had sidestepped around him with barely a glance and her name died on his lips as she passed him by.
Briefly, he entertained the thought that she didn't find his performance last night at all adequate, that was why she had fled his bed while he slept. But if that had been the case, she wouldn't have stayed for a second round and would have been gone immediately after the first, his male ego was quick to point out. Hope knew Lightning to be the type who would immediately be vocal and demonstrative if something displeased her as she had done so prior to them sleeping together, so he could only surmise as a last resort that this was all for the sake of the ruse. Something that he hadn't been entirely happy about in the first place...but if that was what it took to be with her, then as she wished he would uphold it. It was an optimistic notion he could grasp on to, denying that he was in denial. They couldn't already be over so soon after they had just begun.
Perhaps though it was their conversation about his daydream about their hypothetical children that had sent her running. He had, after all, quickly jumped a little too far ahead in imagining the future. In reality he would have kept the daydream to himself and she would've been unaware of the matter for how ever long their sort-of-kind-of relationship lasted but for her insistence in him telling her.
And now here they were.
This time around, after having had a taste of Lightning, the flans that once were excellent in providing distraction now proved to be futile. Gnarly arms and scowling gelatinous features no longer enticed his intellect, and even looking up random monsters from the online encyclopedia in his laptop to sway his interest proved ineffective (well, except for that one article about a fluke in natural selection when a Megistotherian and a Behemoth King actually managed to produce an offspring, confounding scientists as they'd simply thought the two were fighting over a territory in the Archylte Steppe close to the Mah'habara Subterra and not hitherto performing a mating dance. That one actually held Hope's interest, if only for a moment).
He had never been one to shirk from mentally cataloguing the relationships he'd had, how ever few they were. Vanille and Serah together were in that in-between space of friendship and puppy love, never meant to be serious, just something novel and innocent and different from the usual summer holiday from school, simply hanging out together to help pass the time. After he started attending the Academy, he'd gone out on dates (group and individual ones alike), experienced the usual hijinks teenagers were wont to partake in when they were on their own, snogging and groping at parties and all. It wasn't until Elida approached him and initiated their nearly three years together that he'd began to entertain taking advantage of the benefits that having a real relationship with someone could entail, making play at domesticity and togetherness since the girl of his dreams that he'd been pining for in Bodhum was simply that, a dream, and that she was made even more unattainable by being in another world (Cocoon), whereas Elida was with him in Gran Pulse, in the flesh and in love with him, and more than willing to show him how much. After Elida left, he'd had a mix of beneficial friends and one-night stands, few and far between in the intervening year as he nursed wounded pride and broken heart, temporary reprieves to fill the hole in his chest.
If he'd learned anything from his past relationships, the sad sorry number that they were, it was that their endings proved to be great catalysts to what he'd been able to achieve for the Academy (among the best examples was the car that his brother was now (not really) driving). Nothing like a breakup to steer his mind in directions he never would have had otherwise.
Halfway to Bodhum, they'd alighted on the same rest stop as before, and Hope snapped his laptop closed and deposited it into the backpack resting at his feet. He stepped out of the car to stretch his legs, making sure not to turn when he heard Lightning do the same behind him.
Being so close to her and yet unable to touch, unable to gaze, he felt like that hero from an old tale who'd lost his love to death soon after their wedding, who'd gone to the world of the dead to retrieve her and was given permission to take her back on the condition that he must not look back to check if she followed him, only to lose her again in the end when he succumbed to the doubts nagging in his mind and looked back before she had a chance to step into the world of the living.
There really was nothing to stop him from turning except for his own uncertainties. But a heart that had had only a year to mend was still tender, and most especially since it had recently been in the presence of the one that had broken it in the first place, no matter the closure he felt he'd gotten from meeting with Elida yesterday. Perhaps he'd handed his heart out to Lightning a little too soon, and he was finding out more and more that he couldn't seem to help himself when it came to her. Even a tiny morsel of her attention and affection seemed to be enough for him to cast away all his resolve and resolutions. Too much of himself given away in so short a time, hardly ever giving her a chance to requite in kind.
Hands in his pockets, Hope made way for the closest building, intentionally heading in the opposite direction from the memorable playground that started everything, leaving the chatter of his companions behind as they argued about where to go first.
Cool air blasted at him as he stepped through the sliding doors. It seemed he'd gone into a department store-he hadn't been paying attention to the signs splayed on the building's front. Shrugging, he picked a random aisle to browse through. Green eyes were greeted with what seemed to be women's clothing, advertising the latest popular trends and colours, remembering Elida had worn something similar yesterday.
He quickly changed his direction to another aisle. In this one, magazines were displayed on the shelves, and he was surprised to find a few on boomerangs among them. Maqui will like that, he thought as he spied one of his co-worker's favourite models on a cover. Plucking it from the shelf, Hope studied the woman. She wore a black miniskirt and a white halter top, her eyes were downcast and her dark hair swung behind her, the end tied in a dolphin tail that peeked out from her side. One hand pulled at the gloved other that was holding what seemed to be the Vidofnir boomerang.
"'Tifa Tells All,'" Hope read the title of the main article. "'About her life as this year's champion of the Boomerang League and her whirlwind elopement to her childhood friend.' Wow, Maqui's gonna be heartbroken. He had such a huge crush on her."
Maybe it's not such a good idea to get this for him, then, thought Hope, indecisive about whether to still buy it or not, flipping the pages and glimpsing articles on how to best care for boomerangs and news updates on the latest ones that would be coming out, eyes lighting up as he saw that the Tezcatlipoca model was going to rereleased and could be preordered from the magazine. But then again, he'll find out about it sooner or later. And since I have to have this limited edition boomerang in my collection, he doesn't really need to see this particular magazine anyway.
Flipping it closed, a small smile puckered one corner of his mouth. Nothing like retail therapy to keep your mind off of things.
Hurriedly tucking the magazine under his arm, he was about to reach out for the remaining others on boomerangs when he stumbled as someone pounced on him from behind.
"Hey!" greeted Noel, thumping on his shoulders as Hope struggled to right himself.
Looking over his shoulder, the elder of the two greeted back. "Oh. Hey. What's up?"
"Nothing much." The other stood back, waving a finger at him. "You just went off on your own, so I thought to check what's up with you. You've been quiet during the entire ride."
The silver-haired tried to smooth out the resulting wrinkles from the magazine in his hold. "Just had some work to catch up on," came the swift reply, glad he had a ready and believable alibi from having his laptop display his current project for his father's company.
The brunet rolled his eyes as he shook his head. "Bro, the point of this trip was to get you away from work."
"No, the point was to use my car to take our friends shopping, as I recall."
"Well, yeah, originally."
"And besides, it was just my car that was supposed to go with you in the first place. Though seeing mom and eating her cooking again was pretty great."
"There you go, at least this trip wasn't an entire waste."
"Yeah. I guess."
Noel narrowed his blue eyes at him, nodding to the item in his hands. "Besides, that doesn't look like work to me."
Hope allowed a smirk to splay on his lips. "It's for Maqui."
"Sure it is."
"She's his favourite girl who happens to be holding his favourite boomerang."
The younger man shook his head, muttering what sounded like 'that's just sad' under his breath. Then he cleared his throat and shuffled close as he crossed his arms. "So."
Hope couldn't help but be on guard at the sudden shift in tone. He kept his expression impassive in the hopes of betraying nothing of the turmoil that had been brewing within him for most of the day. "Yes?"
"Did you see-I mean, what happ-how did it turn out? You and you-know-who?"
Oh, that one. Okay. The silver-haired shrugged, giving off an air of carelessness. "Pretty well, all things considered."
Noel started, eyes widening even as his brows lowered in a frown. "Wait, does that mean you two are back together?"
With a vehement shake of his head, Hope uttered, "No."
The younger man released a sigh of relief. "Well, that's good. Great. I mean, okay. Wonderful." He patted his older brother on the back, trying to withhold a smile from fully forming on his lips. "That's awesome. Whew."
Hope narrowed his eyes and perused him suspiciously. "Glad you seem happy about it."
"Oh no, I just...it's a good thing. For everyone. You know?"
The silver-haired merely grunted his dubiousness in reply, which prompted the younger brother elaborate...to no great effect.
"I mean you two have been over for a while, and it should stay like that because you're clearly into different things, and she's into different things. And there's just too many differences, you know? And I just don't want to see her hurt you again, man. So yeah."
Hope mirrored Noel's stance and crossed his arms. "You seem awfully invested in us not getting back together. I'm sensing that there's something else. What is this really about?"
"Nothing. Just glad you're finally moving on. That's all."
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I just figured it's time for you to go for someone else. That's all."
"Rrriiigght."
"Like someone really close. Like in the close-confines-of-a-car-sitting-behind-you-type-of-proximity close." He waggled his eyebrows. "Your reason for coming to Bodhum, you know. That's all."
The silver-haired's lips pursed as he contemplated. "There isn't some betting pool going on about the love life you're imagining me to have, is there?"
Noel coughed and looked away, scoffing. "No idea what you're talking about, bro."
"How much did you bet?"
"Dunno what you're talking about."
"I suppose I wouldn't be surprised on who else is in on this."
Noel spread his hands as he shook his head. "You're not really making any sense. You're imagining things. We have better stuff to do than to try to hook you up with a certain someone and make bets on it or anything."
Hope hit him on the head with the magazine.
"What the hell?! What was that for?" asked the brunet as he nursed his head.
"Well, I can tell you right now that none of you are going to win."
The younger man lowered his arms, blue eyes narrowing, all his pretenses dropping. "You sound really sure of yourself."
"Of course I am. No one knows me better than me."
"We'll see. Plenty of time for sparks-" He laughed, shaking his head at the pun, "-to fly. Never say never, as they say."
"Well, that 'never' will last, trust me." With that parting line, Hope turned and made his way to the cashier, feeling a heaviness closing around his heart, and his grip tightened around the magazine to prevent himself from clutching at his chest. He hated the insecurity and uncertainty that had been hanging over him even as he tried not to succumb to his emotions. But with every passing hour with nary a word or a glance from Lightning, it was agony. He was haunted by more than kisses, more than touch: with the taste he had been given last night, how he yearned for more.
For the first time, he began to second-guess his decision in picking the Bodhum branch of Estheim Industries over the ones in Eden and Palumpolum. He wasn't sure if the wisdom behind the saying "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" could be truly trusted. Because then he wouldn't be in this predicament. He would have remained forever blissfully unaware of what it was like to have been in the arms of the woman who had ensnared his heart six years ago.
And to have no memory of that, Hope reckoned, that would've been the more ideal dream of eternity.
==================================================
previous chapter | next chapter