(no subject)
I just finished reading a fantastic book called "Killing Yourself To Live" by Chuck Klosterman. It's a first person narrative of his travels across America visiting the spots where various famous/semi-famous musicians have died over the years Rock and Roll has existed. During his trip he reveals the thoughts and feelings he has over the course of his journey and while standing on the grounds where people lost their lives (Great White Fire, Buddy Holly, Cobain, etc.)
In his car while driving the country he is accompanied by 600+ CD's from his personal collection that fuel his journey and provide insight into the deaths as well as his personal relationships with people in relation to the music and their deaths.
He dissects his complicated love life and all the women he's been involved with over the years and how each one was good/bad/unhealthy/incredibly rewarding and comes to the conclusion (brilliant and insightful conclusion) that expectations of love are determined by the first love and no matter how many people you eventually love/sleep with/have a connection with, that first one can never leave the top of the list as the true infulence of what you expect from the oppisite sex.
I've been trying to get a hold of this concept, battling with that idea and trying to figure out if this is true or not. For me, I don't beleive I have loved enough. Sticking with the band concept I have only a Duet to go by. The Lead is obvious, the Lead Guitarist will eventually become precussion, then probably someone who fills in when like 6 guitars are needed or something.
I take comfort in the fact that while writing the book the author is 31 and I'm only 22...so plenty of time. I've always figured love is a great thing if it's only experianced once but I'm beginning to doubt that just because the concept is so set in stone if you only have a certain amount of expectation about it.
Those who know me would agree I'm not the most adventerous or spontaneous person out there but I beleive experiance breeds the things life are made of and gives you an advantage over others and helps you become whole, so to speak.
I just have a hard time at the moment, being single and having been without that paticular type of love in my life for quite sometime to think that my preception of love can be so defined because I'm not sure if that's what I want.
I think it's just been too long since I've been able to feel that
In his car while driving the country he is accompanied by 600+ CD's from his personal collection that fuel his journey and provide insight into the deaths as well as his personal relationships with people in relation to the music and their deaths.
He dissects his complicated love life and all the women he's been involved with over the years and how each one was good/bad/unhealthy/incredibly rewarding and comes to the conclusion (brilliant and insightful conclusion) that expectations of love are determined by the first love and no matter how many people you eventually love/sleep with/have a connection with, that first one can never leave the top of the list as the true infulence of what you expect from the oppisite sex.
I've been trying to get a hold of this concept, battling with that idea and trying to figure out if this is true or not. For me, I don't beleive I have loved enough. Sticking with the band concept I have only a Duet to go by. The Lead is obvious, the Lead Guitarist will eventually become precussion, then probably someone who fills in when like 6 guitars are needed or something.
I take comfort in the fact that while writing the book the author is 31 and I'm only 22...so plenty of time. I've always figured love is a great thing if it's only experianced once but I'm beginning to doubt that just because the concept is so set in stone if you only have a certain amount of expectation about it.
Those who know me would agree I'm not the most adventerous or spontaneous person out there but I beleive experiance breeds the things life are made of and gives you an advantage over others and helps you become whole, so to speak.
I just have a hard time at the moment, being single and having been without that paticular type of love in my life for quite sometime to think that my preception of love can be so defined because I'm not sure if that's what I want.
I think it's just been too long since I've been able to feel that