"Dinner With Friends" by Donald Margulies
While this play isn't one I'm considering for directing with DC Players this semester, in keeping with the spirit of an acting journal, I thought I'd post a bit about this play I just read because I'd been wanting to for a while now and now that I have, I can say I really enjoyed it. Warning, spoilers ahead. If you haven't read it and have intentions of reading it yourself, I advise you don't read past the first paragraph. If you don't have any intentions of reading this, get them. Some worthwhile lessons in reading this play. Get all you can out of it and don't spoil anything for yourself.
The play begins with a dinner perpared by Gabe and Karen, a married couple in their 40's with two boys, living in Tri-state area Conneticutt (with a summer home in Martha's Vineyard. They've also just gotten back from a trip to Italy. Obviously, they have some money). Joining them is one of their oldest and dearest friends, Beth--also in her 40's, also married, also with two children, a boy and a girl. Beth's husband, Tom is not joining them tonight, as he must catch a flight to Washington D.C. As they finish dinner and talking about Italy, Karen and Gabe begin to notice Beth's distraction. With nudging, she tells them: Tom is leaving her to be with a stewardess.
They discuss this sudden change of events and much is revealed about the nature of Beth and Tom's relationship, most poignantly the fact that one or the other or more likely both of them were not listening to each other; conversation and discussion had become rudimentary and regimented, devoid of originality or love. However its important to remember that the comments of the first scene, of course, are colored in Beth's light. In the next act, Tom comes home after being snowed out at the airport. He comes into their bedroom to say hello as Beth is getting in bed, and the ensuing arguement shows that you really can't trust either of their stories, as either of them have truth and opinion inextricably mixed together. The culmination of this arguement alarmingly and poignantly shows the nature of passions and human emotion as they grapple only to end up having sex after the lights go down. A few hours later, Tom shows up at Gabe and Karen's house angry that Beth has 'swayed them to her side' already. Karen goes to bed and Tom and Gabe, friends since freshman year of college, talk about what happened. We now get Tom's side of the story and begin to recognize that the play isnt about the tragedy of a dying relationship but 'the terrors of staying together' (as Peter Marks in The New York Times best says).
In Act II, We jump back to twelve years before, when Tom and Beth were introduced by Gabe and Karen, then forward to five months after the night of Act I. Beth has been absent from Karen and Gabe's as of late; it turns out she's met someone, a friend of Tom's who also just came out of a marriage. In fact, while both were married, they went out to dinner socially. Lunch for Beth and Karen turns tense when Karen starts to question Beth, especially when she says she loves him, and then when she tells Karen she is going to marry him. Beth lets loose a torrent of resentment against her friend for always being the perfect woman to art-sy, incompetent Beth, and claiming that Karen needs her to be a mess in order for Karen to be herself. It's interesting because while Karen perhaps never meant to do the things Beth claims and perhaps sub-consciously did, much of what Beth says is over the edge. It's what she says before, about her new relationship that hits Karen hardest though; while Beth has perhaps found it in a questionable way, she has at least found it while Karen isn't sure the same is still in her own marriage as it was illustrated in teh first scene of Act II. They eat lunch quietly, Karen in thought about the missing passion of her own life. Meanwhile, Tom and Gabe meet for lunch, and Gabe gets a similar taste from Tom while also a sad farewell as, while the two say goodbye and that they'll see each other again, they both know this is the end. That night, together Gabe and Karen talk about the events of the day. Gabe and Karen reveal to each other that they do not love their friends like they used to; they are not the same people anymore to them. Karen confides a disturbing dream she had to Gabe, but Gabe doesnt pay much heed to it, upsetting Karen. She asks him, tearing, if he misses her, and they both recognize the fear in the nature of their own marriage, wondering if they will be okay or end up like Tom and Beth. The final image, beautiful in its own right, is ambiguous but depending on your vision, suggests the answer.
I was really struck with the beauty and intelligence with which Margullies writes about love and devotion and the nature and elements of each... sex, passion, devotion, regiment, intimacy, trust... its a brilliant examination of relationships in our time and has something to say to every age level- because we can all end up in this place and most likely will in some fashion or another. And our passions may cause us to behave correctly or be blind to the truth. Perhaps Tom and Beth are right. Perhaps Gabe and Karen are. Perhaps the tragedy didn't have to happen. Perhaps it did. Your heart will lay it for you. And you may change your mind; this play will stay with you. I'm sure.
The play begins with a dinner perpared by Gabe and Karen, a married couple in their 40's with two boys, living in Tri-state area Conneticutt (with a summer home in Martha's Vineyard. They've also just gotten back from a trip to Italy. Obviously, they have some money). Joining them is one of their oldest and dearest friends, Beth--also in her 40's, also married, also with two children, a boy and a girl. Beth's husband, Tom is not joining them tonight, as he must catch a flight to Washington D.C. As they finish dinner and talking about Italy, Karen and Gabe begin to notice Beth's distraction. With nudging, she tells them: Tom is leaving her to be with a stewardess.
They discuss this sudden change of events and much is revealed about the nature of Beth and Tom's relationship, most poignantly the fact that one or the other or more likely both of them were not listening to each other; conversation and discussion had become rudimentary and regimented, devoid of originality or love. However its important to remember that the comments of the first scene, of course, are colored in Beth's light. In the next act, Tom comes home after being snowed out at the airport. He comes into their bedroom to say hello as Beth is getting in bed, and the ensuing arguement shows that you really can't trust either of their stories, as either of them have truth and opinion inextricably mixed together. The culmination of this arguement alarmingly and poignantly shows the nature of passions and human emotion as they grapple only to end up having sex after the lights go down. A few hours later, Tom shows up at Gabe and Karen's house angry that Beth has 'swayed them to her side' already. Karen goes to bed and Tom and Gabe, friends since freshman year of college, talk about what happened. We now get Tom's side of the story and begin to recognize that the play isnt about the tragedy of a dying relationship but 'the terrors of staying together' (as Peter Marks in The New York Times best says).
In Act II, We jump back to twelve years before, when Tom and Beth were introduced by Gabe and Karen, then forward to five months after the night of Act I. Beth has been absent from Karen and Gabe's as of late; it turns out she's met someone, a friend of Tom's who also just came out of a marriage. In fact, while both were married, they went out to dinner socially. Lunch for Beth and Karen turns tense when Karen starts to question Beth, especially when she says she loves him, and then when she tells Karen she is going to marry him. Beth lets loose a torrent of resentment against her friend for always being the perfect woman to art-sy, incompetent Beth, and claiming that Karen needs her to be a mess in order for Karen to be herself. It's interesting because while Karen perhaps never meant to do the things Beth claims and perhaps sub-consciously did, much of what Beth says is over the edge. It's what she says before, about her new relationship that hits Karen hardest though; while Beth has perhaps found it in a questionable way, she has at least found it while Karen isn't sure the same is still in her own marriage as it was illustrated in teh first scene of Act II. They eat lunch quietly, Karen in thought about the missing passion of her own life. Meanwhile, Tom and Gabe meet for lunch, and Gabe gets a similar taste from Tom while also a sad farewell as, while the two say goodbye and that they'll see each other again, they both know this is the end. That night, together Gabe and Karen talk about the events of the day. Gabe and Karen reveal to each other that they do not love their friends like they used to; they are not the same people anymore to them. Karen confides a disturbing dream she had to Gabe, but Gabe doesnt pay much heed to it, upsetting Karen. She asks him, tearing, if he misses her, and they both recognize the fear in the nature of their own marriage, wondering if they will be okay or end up like Tom and Beth. The final image, beautiful in its own right, is ambiguous but depending on your vision, suggests the answer.
I was really struck with the beauty and intelligence with which Margullies writes about love and devotion and the nature and elements of each... sex, passion, devotion, regiment, intimacy, trust... its a brilliant examination of relationships in our time and has something to say to every age level- because we can all end up in this place and most likely will in some fashion or another. And our passions may cause us to behave correctly or be blind to the truth. Perhaps Tom and Beth are right. Perhaps Gabe and Karen are. Perhaps the tragedy didn't have to happen. Perhaps it did. Your heart will lay it for you. And you may change your mind; this play will stay with you. I'm sure.