Another Year, Another Dollar
Hokay so, here's the sum of my adventures thus far.
After crossing the ravines of The Wild Country I took a boat to get as far away as I possibly could from the top hat wearing blokes that I witnessed there. Unfortunately, my ship** was attacked by pirates as soon as I got onto the high seas and was promptly sunk, for I had no guns or any crew to man them even if I had, had them. As I was swimming away from the wreckage of my ship I could see that the pirates were wearing the accursed top hats of The Wild Country! I had to amass an army! I had to regain my HONOR! But first, a poem
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Well, it's a work in progress but I think you get the picture! We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
As I walked through the streets of Igglysmogglydoo*** City I was given a fright as Ms. Carnasia(the unsightly old woman from 3-B) grabbed my arm with her Warty old-person's hand and pulled me into a back alley and began talking in a deranged old voice "THE DETAILS OF WHAT IS BEING SAID IN THESE QUOTATIONS IS FAR TOO GRUESOME TO BE TYPED, SAID, OR READ BY ANY LIVING CREATURE." As she finished her sentence my mind felt as if it had been pokes several times with a sharp stick-like object, maybe a branch or a cane or a sword or a remote or a wiimote or an antenna or a straw. Anyways, it was gross.
The fortunate thing about this wondrous sentence is that it gave me an idea! AN IDEA OF WHERE TO GET FOLLOWERS! So I went to the place of my idea so that I could gather these followers. Unfortunately there was nobody there, turns out it was just a bunch of old people. [**SIDE NOTE**] Old folks homes not the best place to find warriors [**END SIDE NOTE**] BUT THEN SOMETHING ELSE OCCURRED TO ME! Well, I'm not gonna go about telling you now, am I? It would ruin the surprise, it would.
So I began to swim and swim and swim some more until I found the site in the middle of the ocean where my ship had been sunk. I swam down to find a family of octopuses had set up a home in the ruined bowels of the ship. "OH NO!" I screamed out, admittedly with much difficulty because I happened to be under water at the time. But I had the Magic Orb of Breath Enhancement, which enabled me to breath under water of course. I then gave up all hope of getting back that thing that I had left aboard my ship and started to swim away. But then one of the Octopuses began speaking to me. Did I mention that the Magic Orb of Breath Enhancement also gave me all of the same powers as Aqua Man? Well it did. So I could understand the octopus rather easily. He told me that the other thing that I was looking for had been sitting there for the longest time and that they were guarding it with their lives! So I killed the octopuses with my eye lasers that I had acquired on Centipooron Primus V and took my Cube of Army Creation to the managerial section of Wal-Mart to place it upon the Pedestal of Awakening. Once I did that, all of the employees of Wal-Mart were mine to command! So I sent them all against the voluminous empire of the Top Hatted Communists. Didn't I mention that they were communists? Well they were, it's totally okay to kill communists because they believe differently than we do. Right? Yeah, that's right.
After defeating the denizens of The Wild Country I settled to a farm house in Colorado to live out the rest of my days in peace. OR DID I?!
After crossing the ravines of The Wild Country I took a boat to get as far away as I possibly could from the top hat wearing blokes that I witnessed there. Unfortunately, my ship** was attacked by pirates as soon as I got onto the high seas and was promptly sunk, for I had no guns or any crew to man them even if I had, had them. As I was swimming away from the wreckage of my ship I could see that the pirates were wearing the accursed top hats of The Wild Country! I had to amass an army! I had to regain my HONOR! But first, a poem
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Well, it's a work in progress but I think you get the picture! We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
As I walked through the streets of Igglysmogglydoo*** City I was given a fright as Ms. Carnasia(the unsightly old woman from 3-B) grabbed my arm with her Warty old-person's hand and pulled me into a back alley and began talking in a deranged old voice "THE DETAILS OF WHAT IS BEING SAID IN THESE QUOTATIONS IS FAR TOO GRUESOME TO BE TYPED, SAID, OR READ BY ANY LIVING CREATURE." As she finished her sentence my mind felt as if it had been pokes several times with a sharp stick-like object, maybe a branch or a cane or a sword or a remote or a wiimote or an antenna or a straw. Anyways, it was gross.
The fortunate thing about this wondrous sentence is that it gave me an idea! AN IDEA OF WHERE TO GET FOLLOWERS! So I went to the place of my idea so that I could gather these followers. Unfortunately there was nobody there, turns out it was just a bunch of old people. [**SIDE NOTE**] Old folks homes not the best place to find warriors [**END SIDE NOTE**] BUT THEN SOMETHING ELSE OCCURRED TO ME! Well, I'm not gonna go about telling you now, am I? It would ruin the surprise, it would.
So I began to swim and swim and swim some more until I found the site in the middle of the ocean where my ship had been sunk. I swam down to find a family of octopuses had set up a home in the ruined bowels of the ship. "OH NO!" I screamed out, admittedly with much difficulty because I happened to be under water at the time. But I had the Magic Orb of Breath Enhancement, which enabled me to breath under water of course. I then gave up all hope of getting back that thing that I had left aboard my ship and started to swim away. But then one of the Octopuses began speaking to me. Did I mention that the Magic Orb of Breath Enhancement also gave me all of the same powers as Aqua Man? Well it did. So I could understand the octopus rather easily. He told me that the other thing that I was looking for had been sitting there for the longest time and that they were guarding it with their lives! So I killed the octopuses with my eye lasers that I had acquired on Centipooron Primus V and took my Cube of Army Creation to the managerial section of Wal-Mart to place it upon the Pedestal of Awakening. Once I did that, all of the employees of Wal-Mart were mine to command! So I sent them all against the voluminous empire of the Top Hatted Communists. Didn't I mention that they were communists? Well they were, it's totally okay to kill communists because they believe differently than we do. Right? Yeah, that's right.
After defeating the denizens of The Wild Country I settled to a farm house in Colorado to live out the rest of my days in peace. OR DID I?!