To the Waters and the Wild Chapter 10 Commentary
This commentary was requested by catyuy . Would you like to request a commentary of your own? You can do so right here.
And thanks once again to ladychi for contributing her thoughts to this commentary as well (I'm in blue, she's in purple). :)
So this is the non-porny denouement chapter of To the Waters and the Wild. As usual, both I and ladychi will be commenting.
The first scene here fell to me. The way that Chi and I operated for most of this collaboration was sort of a round-robin, with each of us writing a scene and switching off. Then of course we'd get together and make notes and tweak things and edit it together after our beta went over it.
I knew from the beginning that I did not want Donna back on the TARDIS yet. It just didn't feel right, with everything that was going on with Rose and the Doctors, to inject someone else into that dynamic. Maybe later. The thing about new series Who is that travelling with the Doctor is portrayed as the most wonderful thing ever, which is great as far as fantasy and drama goes, but not so great when you have to limit the number of people travelling with him, or get rid of them completely. This is why I'm never surprised when a companion meets a tragic end. Unless you're going to have the same companion travelling with the Doctor forever, something has to happen that either forces them to leave against their will, or something so horrible happens that it outweighs how wonderful it is to be with him. What Donna does here is something like Martha's choice, though with different motivations, and with a distinct whiff of the temporary. She's had all of the Doctor inside her head, and I think that, while she doesn't remember the specifics, she's seen how dangerous he is, and how all-consuming being with him is (as also demonstrated by Lucy).
"I just want you to know that I forgive both of you." Donna had slowed her pace as she and the two Doctors walked through the park to join Rose back at the TARDIS.
"You... well-" the Doctor in brown stammered, rubbing the back of his neck with a nervous hand.
"That doesn't make it any better, what we did" the Doctor in the blue suit and bare feet said quietly. "And I know it's not an excuse, but-"
"I'm not done yet, so you can shut up." Donna cut him off with a cheeky smirk. "You should know that I forgive you and that what I'm about to do isn't because I'm trying to score one off you or anything like that."
My personal opinion on the end of series 4 and Donna's arc is that what the Doctor did was gut-wrenching, but necessary. I am not of the school of thought that what he did makes him a terrible, amoral person (and that goes double for RTD-see above for the problems a writer faces when an actor needs to get on with their life and get written off the show). When someone is rapidly dying in front of you and you have to do something to save their life that is nonetheless painful, you do it. And I'd like to think that Donna would understand this, if she ever got her memories back. And I also don't like the implication that Donna without her memories of the Doctor would somehow be better off dead. Just... no.
The Doctors stopped walking entirely and Donna turned around to face them where they stood, both looking quite uneasy, in their own ways.
"What you're... about to do?" the Time Lord asked tentatively.
"It's actually down to something Rose said, but I don't want you to go off blaming her either, you got that?" Donna pointed a finger at each in turn. "She said that it's so much easier to know you're brilliant when the Doctor is right there to tell you. Or Doctors, as the case may be."
"And quite right," the Doctor said warmly, basking in the glow of of this apparent praise. His human counterpart, however, stood silently, brow furrowed. "You're all brilliant. Why do you think I travel with you?"
Dok-tor is an idiot. One of the tenants of this story, indeed.
"That's just the thing though," Donna continued. "What happens when we don't travel with you any more? Being around you, it's like a drug. It's like how they say that if you take enough of some kinds of drugs, your body forgets how to make you feel happy on its own. You don't know how to make yourself happy any more, you've relied so long on something else to do it for you."
"When there's no more...?" the Doctor mused. "But I'll always be here for you."
"You know that's a promise you can't make," his barefoot double said. "No matter how many times you try."
Just a continuing characterisation note for the other Doctor; that he's just a bit more savvy about these sorts of relationships than the Time Lord. He's more sensitive to the feelings of others, and more willing to tell the truth.
"You should listen to him, spaceman," Donna chuckled. "I mean, even if everything went perfectly and you didn't bugger off, or die, or regenerate into a complete insufferable tosser, what'd happen once I got too old to travel with you?"
The human Doctor toed a pebble on the ground uncomfortably and quite obviously did not look at either Donna or his own double for a moment.
"I'm sorry." Donna ducked her head down to try and catch the Doctor's eye where he stared pointedly at his big toe. "I didn't mean-"
Awkward.
"It's okay," the human Doctor said quietly, still avoiding eye contact. "I did just watch myself die of old age, basically. I'll get over it."
"No, you won't. That's just as much part of being human. Oh, come here you ridiculous man." She drew him in to a bear hug and squeezed until he made an undignified squeaking noise. "We never get over it. Dying, I mean. So don't go trying to, 'cos that's a fool's errand, as my granddad would say." She held him at arms length again and then turned to the other man. "And don't you go thinking he's just going to get over it, and blaming him when he doesn't."
It occurs to me now that some of this sort of snuck in to my remix fic as well, that the Doctor confronting mortality is kind of a Big Deal, and not something he's going to just get over.
"You're... not coming with us," the Doctor said evenly.
"Oh my god, you are slow," Donna huffed, though her eyes were laughing. "No wonder Rose spent so much time trying to get back to you. She knew you'd bloody die of stupidity before too long."
"Oi!" both Doctors protested at once and then narrowed their eyes at one another, as if each had stolen the other's thunder.
"I'm going to work for Torchwood," Donna announced proudly. "And we'll just see how brilliant I am on my own."
"Torchwood?" the Doctor in brown said indignantly.
"Yeah, that a problem?" Donna shot back defensively.
There was a terse three-way silence before the human Doctor cleared his throat. "It's just that... we'll worry. It's a dangerous job."
"Have you seen the track record for that place?" the other Doctor said, his voice going up in both decibel and pitch. "It's run by a guy who literally can't die, for heaven's sake-Health and Safety is hardly the top priority!"
*cough* It should be noted that this was written prior to Children of Earth (though CoE in no way Josses it, as this is meant to take place just a few weeks after Journey's End). I've never been a massive Torchwood fan, but even I know that people at Torchwood tend to die. So, I'd like to assure the reader now that in this universe, Donna does not die a horrible death alone and scared, but rather works brilliantly for Torchwood for a few years and then goes back to hang with the Doctors and Rose, where she's also brilliant and perhaps meets someone who shags her silly and rubs her feet and makes her mojitos on a daily basis, whom she stays with for the rest of her life. Or something.
The Doctor in blue laid a hand on his twin's shoulder and stepped forward. "My counterpart here is, of course, in no way suggesting that you can't take care of yourself. Are you, Doctor?"
"Must be some sort of translation circuit malfunction because it did sound a bit like that, yeah," Donna said. The Time Lord just scowled, while his duplicate looked hopefully between he and an annoyed-looking Donna. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we just come and save your skinny behinds?" She looked between them and something in her expression softened.
"Just promise me one thing," the Doctor in the brown suit said, his eyes full but still somehow closed off.
"What's that?"
"Whatever Jack tells you to do, please promise us you'll do the opposite."
Generally a very good idea. Listen to him, Donna. He is wise.
Donna broke out in to a wide smile, and the barefooted human Doctor gave a little snorting chortle. "Come here, you... both of you," she beamed, opening her arms for an embrace. Her next words were muffled by the bony shoulders of the two men. "You know where you can find me. Any time, and I mean that. Don't be strangers. Or, at least not any stranger than you normally are." She stepped back and took one of their hands in each of her own. "But what I intend to do with Jack Harkness is, quite frankly, none of your business." The meaning behind her accompanying wink was fairly unmistakable, as human body language goes.
Okay, yes, Jack/Donna, so sue us. Though Jack/Donna/Ianto isn't outside the realm of possibility. I have to say though, tell me Jack/Donna is not the hottest hot thing that ever was hot. I'm all over that ship and I'm mightily perplexed as to why we don't see more of it. Can you imagine the snarking?! Oh, it would be glorious. This whole fic is laced with Chi and my best attempts to correct the grievous, grievous wrong done to Donna in canon, whereby no one ever acknowledged her hottness. And even Jack Harkness didn't want a hug from her? What the shit was that about? So, be it here known: none of that business for us. Indeed. Donna is gorgeous.
Both Doctors stood with mouths hanging open as Donna turned to walk back towards the road, where presumably Jack and Martha were waiting to take her to Cardiff. As her footfalls on the gravel grew quieter, they looked at one another, blinking in dappled sunlight through the trees.
"She'll be fantastic," the human Doctor said finally.
"Yeah." The Doctor looked down at his fingers, studied them for a moment, before reaching out and taking the hand of his duplicate. "C'mon, Rose'll be waiting."
They walked slowly, hand-in-hand until the TARDIS came in to view again.
Aw they're holding hands. I figured that Ten is such a compulsive hand-holder, and saying goodbye to Donna such a sad occasion for them both, they'd both need a hand to hold in that moment. Let it be known. This is the point at which I squeed.
***
I'll let Chi do most of the talking for the next bits, as she wrote most of them. I will say though that this next scene was in then out then in again as we tried to figure out how many chapters total we were going to have and whether or not this chapter was long enough, or if it was missing something.
The TARDIS stood in the distance, the Torchwood SUV idling in the road, and two figures watched the Doctors and Donna take their leaves.
"So." Martha looked over at Jack, her arms crossed, an amused grin on her face. "Donna Noble, Torchwood employee?"
"Yeah. She's gonna be great," Jack said, flipping his phone open and shut without any real intent to look at the screen. I have this nervous habit. Yes, I project.
"What do you think Ianto of the bright brown eyes is going to think about that?" I hate writing Martha so badly I can't even describe to you. I spent most of Season Three ignoring her presence the first time around and then -- I just don't find her that interesting. Therefore, if there are characterization issues, I will take full responsibility.
I find her hard to write because she seems to me to have fewer identifying characteristics that translate well to print. It's too easy for me to write her as just "Generic Whoniverse Denizen #3." I think unfolded73 writes a very excellent Martha though. I should take lessons.
Jack chuckled, a hint of a smirk crossing his lips. "He's... open-minded. Very open in general, as a matter of fact."
Martha snorted and zipped up her bag, tossing it into the SUV easily. "Lucky you."
"Yeah," Jack said, the smirk transforming into a brilliant grin. "Lucky me. Some time we should figure out how open your Tom really is."
Martha laughed. "Oh, I don't know if you could handle me, Jack. Or him." She followed his eyes to Donna Noble walking confidently across the road, hips swinging and shoes clicking on the surface. "I know you couldn't handle her."
Jack threw back his head and laughed. "There's the thing, Dr. Jones: I'm not going to handle her. I think I'd rather that she handle me." He winked. "Much more fun that way."
"You finally got the Doctor. Or a Doctor, at least. Sort of."
"Well, I've got all the time in the world to be persistent, don't I?"
Martha playfully punched him on the arm. "I hope you're not planning on playing hard-to-get."
"Nah. I was always terrible at that game. I liked losing too much to even try to win!" The point of this scene, as I believe Tenzo has stated very well is that Donna Is Hawt.
***
And Chi wrote this scene too and I like to think that it's her manifesto about something that she'd quite masterfully injected into this story from the get-go, which is the parallel between Lucy and Rose. And let me just say here and now that I find Rose to be incredibly hard to write, but that Chi's version(s) of Rose has a unique voice and a truly delicate and careful characterisation that is totally absent from my version most of the time. I'm constantly looking at her writing of the character to try and get hints towards learning to write her better myself. For me, Ten and Donna and the Master sort of write themselves, but Rose is incredibly, incredibly hard. Chi may claim that she also finds writing Rose difficult, but hard or easy, the end result is wonderful.
You can probably see me blushing on the East Coast right now. A few words on Rose: I still find her incredibly difficult to write for a myriad of reasons -- but I could probably write a whole essay about making Rose easier to write.
Rose sat on her bed, flipping through a book without any interest. She'd said goodbye to Donna just before, and had left the Doctors to make their peace with her, and then retreated to her room, buried herself underneath the covers and cried.
Unfolded and Fiddy have both noted that Rose is either doing her nails or reading a novel in most fanfic. I fall prey to this cliche... at least this time! I need to give Rose a hobby. Like... philately or something.
It wasn't the first time she'd seen someone kill themselves-but it was the first time it'd been so personal, the first time she'd ever stood so close, the first time someone had been looking into her eyes.
What would you do to keep him?
The voice had been tinged with a sort of cool calm, a determination that she used to face when she woke up every morning and looked herself in the mirror and saw a Rose Tyler whose life was defined by someone other than herself. The difference between Rose and Lucy is -- almost literally hairline. Rose definitely sees this. Not just because Lucy pointed it out to her. Rose is a very astute person.
Young. She'd been so young. Nineteen, without a real clue as to what she'd gotten into, she'd just taken the hand of a strange man because he told her to run and she'd never looked back. Not when he'd changed his face, not when that life brought so much more heartache than she had ever thought possible.
Then she'd fallen-almost into the Void, and was caught by the man who would never consider himself her father, taken to a parallel universe, where the Doctor had said things like "never" and "impossible." A lot of readers latched onto the "man who would never consider himself her father" line. Pete and Rose grew close, I think. But it would be odd to find a fully-grown daughter and claim her as your own, you know? I think Rose would have subconsciously wanted more from Pete than Pete would be able to give her.
What would you do to keep him?
What had she done to keep him? That would be a better question. Crossed universes to stop the darkness from spreading-working over-time at Torchwood to get a machine that never should have worked to work... But everyone who really knew her could see who and what she was risking everything for.
I think there was originally a line about "ripping apart the universes" or something -- which Tenzo talked me out of.
We did have to have a bit of a canon pow-wow here. I'm quite adamant about what the Dimension Cannon is and does, and the various reasons Rose was using it. Mainly just because "Rose knowingly almost destroyed the universe just because she was selfish and wanted to smooch on the Doctor" is so old meme, and I would haaaate any hint of that sneaking in to any fic of mine, even if accidentally.
She'd crossed so many pathways on those trips across-seen so many versions of events that she knew with a kind of grim certainty that she was not very far away from Lucy Saxon. And what's more, that the Doctor was not so far away from the Master. I think this is true -- I think Rose probably saw a great deal of what happened to the world, and saw exactly the role that the Doctor plays, and the role she had played. We don't have an explanation for how she knew everything she knew in Turn Left, but almost certainly it was because she'd seen so many other universes almost collapse or completely collapse.
"Don't let them get to you," the Doctor said from the doorway, holding the hand of his human double loosely, who looked over at the other Doctor for a second and let go quickly. The Doctor continued as though he hadn't noticed. "I've got centuries of experience in this, and I can tell you-it's better if you don't think about anything they said, either one of them." If only the Doctor was able to take his own advice.
She barely heard him. Emotions warred for dominance in her overtired brain. Joy, to see them together. Relief, to see them alive. Desire, because the memories of their last encounter were profound now that they'd returned to the place they'd all joined imperfectly together-and that was magnified even more by the look on the human Doctor's face as he studied his twin.
Still, before she could do anything about it-beg to forget everything that had happened that day, ask for help with the forgetting-she yawned. And the Doctor who did sleep yawned as well. HAHAHAHA. Ahem. The Doctor who does sleep? Wow. My poor broken pronoun-confused brain.
"You should sleep," the Doctor said, giving the man in the blue suit a little shove. "We can rehash everything when you're more awake."
Rose narrowed her eyes. "No avoiding this, Doctor. I have some things I want to ask you, in the morning."
"And I'll answer them," said the human Doctor, removing his trainers, wrapping himself around her and snuggling into her neck, "in the morning."
"What about Donna? Is she okay?"
"Says she's going to work for bloody Torchwood," the Doctor in brown said, crossing his arms and studying the pair of them with an almost-jealous expression in his eyes.
"Good," said Rose shortly. "Don't just hover there, you great ponce, come lay down with us. It'll be like Mum used to tell Tony. You don't have to sleep, but you do have to rest." Yes, this is something I did actually tell the three and four-year-olds when I worked with them.
By some unconscious agreement, the human Doctor and Rose parted, patting the area between them with great impatience, and the Doctor shrugged, shucking unnecessary clothing and climbing into bed between them. They wrapped themselves around him, and the Doctor was soothed into sleep by the warming blanket of Rose and the other Doctor.
I love this final image of them all snuggled up together. Awww. I ended this way for a couple reasons: One, Tenzo and I had already decided not to do the smut right after the denoument. Second, I find the act of sleeping together in many ways to be more intimate, and somehow harder and more trustful than actually having sex. Sex isn't easy. But it's easier than trusting someone else enough to curl up with them and just be.
And thanks once again to ladychi for contributing her thoughts to this commentary as well (I'm in blue, she's in purple). :)
So this is the non-porny denouement chapter of To the Waters and the Wild. As usual, both I and ladychi will be commenting.
The first scene here fell to me. The way that Chi and I operated for most of this collaboration was sort of a round-robin, with each of us writing a scene and switching off. Then of course we'd get together and make notes and tweak things and edit it together after our beta went over it.
I knew from the beginning that I did not want Donna back on the TARDIS yet. It just didn't feel right, with everything that was going on with Rose and the Doctors, to inject someone else into that dynamic. Maybe later. The thing about new series Who is that travelling with the Doctor is portrayed as the most wonderful thing ever, which is great as far as fantasy and drama goes, but not so great when you have to limit the number of people travelling with him, or get rid of them completely. This is why I'm never surprised when a companion meets a tragic end. Unless you're going to have the same companion travelling with the Doctor forever, something has to happen that either forces them to leave against their will, or something so horrible happens that it outweighs how wonderful it is to be with him. What Donna does here is something like Martha's choice, though with different motivations, and with a distinct whiff of the temporary. She's had all of the Doctor inside her head, and I think that, while she doesn't remember the specifics, she's seen how dangerous he is, and how all-consuming being with him is (as also demonstrated by Lucy).
"I just want you to know that I forgive both of you." Donna had slowed her pace as she and the two Doctors walked through the park to join Rose back at the TARDIS.
"You... well-" the Doctor in brown stammered, rubbing the back of his neck with a nervous hand.
"That doesn't make it any better, what we did" the Doctor in the blue suit and bare feet said quietly. "And I know it's not an excuse, but-"
"I'm not done yet, so you can shut up." Donna cut him off with a cheeky smirk. "You should know that I forgive you and that what I'm about to do isn't because I'm trying to score one off you or anything like that."
My personal opinion on the end of series 4 and Donna's arc is that what the Doctor did was gut-wrenching, but necessary. I am not of the school of thought that what he did makes him a terrible, amoral person (and that goes double for RTD-see above for the problems a writer faces when an actor needs to get on with their life and get written off the show). When someone is rapidly dying in front of you and you have to do something to save their life that is nonetheless painful, you do it. And I'd like to think that Donna would understand this, if she ever got her memories back. And I also don't like the implication that Donna without her memories of the Doctor would somehow be better off dead. Just... no.
The Doctors stopped walking entirely and Donna turned around to face them where they stood, both looking quite uneasy, in their own ways.
"What you're... about to do?" the Time Lord asked tentatively.
"It's actually down to something Rose said, but I don't want you to go off blaming her either, you got that?" Donna pointed a finger at each in turn. "She said that it's so much easier to know you're brilliant when the Doctor is right there to tell you. Or Doctors, as the case may be."
"And quite right," the Doctor said warmly, basking in the glow of of this apparent praise. His human counterpart, however, stood silently, brow furrowed. "You're all brilliant. Why do you think I travel with you?"
Dok-tor is an idiot. One of the tenants of this story, indeed.
"That's just the thing though," Donna continued. "What happens when we don't travel with you any more? Being around you, it's like a drug. It's like how they say that if you take enough of some kinds of drugs, your body forgets how to make you feel happy on its own. You don't know how to make yourself happy any more, you've relied so long on something else to do it for you."
"When there's no more...?" the Doctor mused. "But I'll always be here for you."
"You know that's a promise you can't make," his barefoot double said. "No matter how many times you try."
Just a continuing characterisation note for the other Doctor; that he's just a bit more savvy about these sorts of relationships than the Time Lord. He's more sensitive to the feelings of others, and more willing to tell the truth.
"You should listen to him, spaceman," Donna chuckled. "I mean, even if everything went perfectly and you didn't bugger off, or die, or regenerate into a complete insufferable tosser, what'd happen once I got too old to travel with you?"
The human Doctor toed a pebble on the ground uncomfortably and quite obviously did not look at either Donna or his own double for a moment.
"I'm sorry." Donna ducked her head down to try and catch the Doctor's eye where he stared pointedly at his big toe. "I didn't mean-"
Awkward.
"It's okay," the human Doctor said quietly, still avoiding eye contact. "I did just watch myself die of old age, basically. I'll get over it."
"No, you won't. That's just as much part of being human. Oh, come here you ridiculous man." She drew him in to a bear hug and squeezed until he made an undignified squeaking noise. "We never get over it. Dying, I mean. So don't go trying to, 'cos that's a fool's errand, as my granddad would say." She held him at arms length again and then turned to the other man. "And don't you go thinking he's just going to get over it, and blaming him when he doesn't."
It occurs to me now that some of this sort of snuck in to my remix fic as well, that the Doctor confronting mortality is kind of a Big Deal, and not something he's going to just get over.
"You're... not coming with us," the Doctor said evenly.
"Oh my god, you are slow," Donna huffed, though her eyes were laughing. "No wonder Rose spent so much time trying to get back to you. She knew you'd bloody die of stupidity before too long."
"Oi!" both Doctors protested at once and then narrowed their eyes at one another, as if each had stolen the other's thunder.
"I'm going to work for Torchwood," Donna announced proudly. "And we'll just see how brilliant I am on my own."
"Torchwood?" the Doctor in brown said indignantly.
"Yeah, that a problem?" Donna shot back defensively.
There was a terse three-way silence before the human Doctor cleared his throat. "It's just that... we'll worry. It's a dangerous job."
"Have you seen the track record for that place?" the other Doctor said, his voice going up in both decibel and pitch. "It's run by a guy who literally can't die, for heaven's sake-Health and Safety is hardly the top priority!"
*cough* It should be noted that this was written prior to Children of Earth (though CoE in no way Josses it, as this is meant to take place just a few weeks after Journey's End). I've never been a massive Torchwood fan, but even I know that people at Torchwood tend to die. So, I'd like to assure the reader now that in this universe, Donna does not die a horrible death alone and scared, but rather works brilliantly for Torchwood for a few years and then goes back to hang with the Doctors and Rose, where she's also brilliant and perhaps meets someone who shags her silly and rubs her feet and makes her mojitos on a daily basis, whom she stays with for the rest of her life. Or something.
The Doctor in blue laid a hand on his twin's shoulder and stepped forward. "My counterpart here is, of course, in no way suggesting that you can't take care of yourself. Are you, Doctor?"
"Must be some sort of translation circuit malfunction because it did sound a bit like that, yeah," Donna said. The Time Lord just scowled, while his duplicate looked hopefully between he and an annoyed-looking Donna. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we just come and save your skinny behinds?" She looked between them and something in her expression softened.
"Just promise me one thing," the Doctor in the brown suit said, his eyes full but still somehow closed off.
"What's that?"
"Whatever Jack tells you to do, please promise us you'll do the opposite."
Generally a very good idea. Listen to him, Donna. He is wise.
Donna broke out in to a wide smile, and the barefooted human Doctor gave a little snorting chortle. "Come here, you... both of you," she beamed, opening her arms for an embrace. Her next words were muffled by the bony shoulders of the two men. "You know where you can find me. Any time, and I mean that. Don't be strangers. Or, at least not any stranger than you normally are." She stepped back and took one of their hands in each of her own. "But what I intend to do with Jack Harkness is, quite frankly, none of your business." The meaning behind her accompanying wink was fairly unmistakable, as human body language goes.
Okay, yes, Jack/Donna, so sue us. Though Jack/Donna/Ianto isn't outside the realm of possibility. I have to say though, tell me Jack/Donna is not the hottest hot thing that ever was hot. I'm all over that ship and I'm mightily perplexed as to why we don't see more of it. Can you imagine the snarking?! Oh, it would be glorious. This whole fic is laced with Chi and my best attempts to correct the grievous, grievous wrong done to Donna in canon, whereby no one ever acknowledged her hottness. And even Jack Harkness didn't want a hug from her? What the shit was that about? So, be it here known: none of that business for us. Indeed. Donna is gorgeous.
Both Doctors stood with mouths hanging open as Donna turned to walk back towards the road, where presumably Jack and Martha were waiting to take her to Cardiff. As her footfalls on the gravel grew quieter, they looked at one another, blinking in dappled sunlight through the trees.
"She'll be fantastic," the human Doctor said finally.
"Yeah." The Doctor looked down at his fingers, studied them for a moment, before reaching out and taking the hand of his duplicate. "C'mon, Rose'll be waiting."
They walked slowly, hand-in-hand until the TARDIS came in to view again.
Aw they're holding hands. I figured that Ten is such a compulsive hand-holder, and saying goodbye to Donna such a sad occasion for them both, they'd both need a hand to hold in that moment. Let it be known. This is the point at which I squeed.
***
I'll let Chi do most of the talking for the next bits, as she wrote most of them. I will say though that this next scene was in then out then in again as we tried to figure out how many chapters total we were going to have and whether or not this chapter was long enough, or if it was missing something.
The TARDIS stood in the distance, the Torchwood SUV idling in the road, and two figures watched the Doctors and Donna take their leaves.
"So." Martha looked over at Jack, her arms crossed, an amused grin on her face. "Donna Noble, Torchwood employee?"
"Yeah. She's gonna be great," Jack said, flipping his phone open and shut without any real intent to look at the screen. I have this nervous habit. Yes, I project.
"What do you think Ianto of the bright brown eyes is going to think about that?" I hate writing Martha so badly I can't even describe to you. I spent most of Season Three ignoring her presence the first time around and then -- I just don't find her that interesting. Therefore, if there are characterization issues, I will take full responsibility.
I find her hard to write because she seems to me to have fewer identifying characteristics that translate well to print. It's too easy for me to write her as just "Generic Whoniverse Denizen #3." I think unfolded73 writes a very excellent Martha though. I should take lessons.
Jack chuckled, a hint of a smirk crossing his lips. "He's... open-minded. Very open in general, as a matter of fact."
Martha snorted and zipped up her bag, tossing it into the SUV easily. "Lucky you."
"Yeah," Jack said, the smirk transforming into a brilliant grin. "Lucky me. Some time we should figure out how open your Tom really is."
Martha laughed. "Oh, I don't know if you could handle me, Jack. Or him." She followed his eyes to Donna Noble walking confidently across the road, hips swinging and shoes clicking on the surface. "I know you couldn't handle her."
Jack threw back his head and laughed. "There's the thing, Dr. Jones: I'm not going to handle her. I think I'd rather that she handle me." He winked. "Much more fun that way."
"You finally got the Doctor. Or a Doctor, at least. Sort of."
"Well, I've got all the time in the world to be persistent, don't I?"
Martha playfully punched him on the arm. "I hope you're not planning on playing hard-to-get."
"Nah. I was always terrible at that game. I liked losing too much to even try to win!" The point of this scene, as I believe Tenzo has stated very well is that Donna Is Hawt.
***
And Chi wrote this scene too and I like to think that it's her manifesto about something that she'd quite masterfully injected into this story from the get-go, which is the parallel between Lucy and Rose. And let me just say here and now that I find Rose to be incredibly hard to write, but that Chi's version(s) of Rose has a unique voice and a truly delicate and careful characterisation that is totally absent from my version most of the time. I'm constantly looking at her writing of the character to try and get hints towards learning to write her better myself. For me, Ten and Donna and the Master sort of write themselves, but Rose is incredibly, incredibly hard. Chi may claim that she also finds writing Rose difficult, but hard or easy, the end result is wonderful.
You can probably see me blushing on the East Coast right now. A few words on Rose: I still find her incredibly difficult to write for a myriad of reasons -- but I could probably write a whole essay about making Rose easier to write.
Rose sat on her bed, flipping through a book without any interest. She'd said goodbye to Donna just before, and had left the Doctors to make their peace with her, and then retreated to her room, buried herself underneath the covers and cried.
Unfolded and Fiddy have both noted that Rose is either doing her nails or reading a novel in most fanfic. I fall prey to this cliche... at least this time! I need to give Rose a hobby. Like... philately or something.
It wasn't the first time she'd seen someone kill themselves-but it was the first time it'd been so personal, the first time she'd ever stood so close, the first time someone had been looking into her eyes.
What would you do to keep him?
The voice had been tinged with a sort of cool calm, a determination that she used to face when she woke up every morning and looked herself in the mirror and saw a Rose Tyler whose life was defined by someone other than herself. The difference between Rose and Lucy is -- almost literally hairline. Rose definitely sees this. Not just because Lucy pointed it out to her. Rose is a very astute person.
Young. She'd been so young. Nineteen, without a real clue as to what she'd gotten into, she'd just taken the hand of a strange man because he told her to run and she'd never looked back. Not when he'd changed his face, not when that life brought so much more heartache than she had ever thought possible.
Then she'd fallen-almost into the Void, and was caught by the man who would never consider himself her father, taken to a parallel universe, where the Doctor had said things like "never" and "impossible." A lot of readers latched onto the "man who would never consider himself her father" line. Pete and Rose grew close, I think. But it would be odd to find a fully-grown daughter and claim her as your own, you know? I think Rose would have subconsciously wanted more from Pete than Pete would be able to give her.
What would you do to keep him?
What had she done to keep him? That would be a better question. Crossed universes to stop the darkness from spreading-working over-time at Torchwood to get a machine that never should have worked to work... But everyone who really knew her could see who and what she was risking everything for.
I think there was originally a line about "ripping apart the universes" or something -- which Tenzo talked me out of.
We did have to have a bit of a canon pow-wow here. I'm quite adamant about what the Dimension Cannon is and does, and the various reasons Rose was using it. Mainly just because "Rose knowingly almost destroyed the universe just because she was selfish and wanted to smooch on the Doctor" is so old meme, and I would haaaate any hint of that sneaking in to any fic of mine, even if accidentally.
She'd crossed so many pathways on those trips across-seen so many versions of events that she knew with a kind of grim certainty that she was not very far away from Lucy Saxon. And what's more, that the Doctor was not so far away from the Master. I think this is true -- I think Rose probably saw a great deal of what happened to the world, and saw exactly the role that the Doctor plays, and the role she had played. We don't have an explanation for how she knew everything she knew in Turn Left, but almost certainly it was because she'd seen so many other universes almost collapse or completely collapse.
"Don't let them get to you," the Doctor said from the doorway, holding the hand of his human double loosely, who looked over at the other Doctor for a second and let go quickly. The Doctor continued as though he hadn't noticed. "I've got centuries of experience in this, and I can tell you-it's better if you don't think about anything they said, either one of them." If only the Doctor was able to take his own advice.
She barely heard him. Emotions warred for dominance in her overtired brain. Joy, to see them together. Relief, to see them alive. Desire, because the memories of their last encounter were profound now that they'd returned to the place they'd all joined imperfectly together-and that was magnified even more by the look on the human Doctor's face as he studied his twin.
Still, before she could do anything about it-beg to forget everything that had happened that day, ask for help with the forgetting-she yawned. And the Doctor who did sleep yawned as well. HAHAHAHA. Ahem. The Doctor who does sleep? Wow. My poor broken pronoun-confused brain.
"You should sleep," the Doctor said, giving the man in the blue suit a little shove. "We can rehash everything when you're more awake."
Rose narrowed her eyes. "No avoiding this, Doctor. I have some things I want to ask you, in the morning."
"And I'll answer them," said the human Doctor, removing his trainers, wrapping himself around her and snuggling into her neck, "in the morning."
"What about Donna? Is she okay?"
"Says she's going to work for bloody Torchwood," the Doctor in brown said, crossing his arms and studying the pair of them with an almost-jealous expression in his eyes.
"Good," said Rose shortly. "Don't just hover there, you great ponce, come lay down with us. It'll be like Mum used to tell Tony. You don't have to sleep, but you do have to rest." Yes, this is something I did actually tell the three and four-year-olds when I worked with them.
By some unconscious agreement, the human Doctor and Rose parted, patting the area between them with great impatience, and the Doctor shrugged, shucking unnecessary clothing and climbing into bed between them. They wrapped themselves around him, and the Doctor was soothed into sleep by the warming blanket of Rose and the other Doctor.
I love this final image of them all snuggled up together. Awww. I ended this way for a couple reasons: One, Tenzo and I had already decided not to do the smut right after the denoument. Second, I find the act of sleeping together in many ways to be more intimate, and somehow harder and more trustful than actually having sex. Sex isn't easy. But it's easier than trusting someone else enough to curl up with them and just be.