Book of Poojie
I'm watching Book of Eli right now, and it pains me how unrealistic some of it is. A world that is desolate for decades, 30 years I believe, and all life has died out. The movie even starts off with a hairless kitty, which I believe was supposed to be a "mutated" kitty. Errrr...what's an Egyptian breed of cat doing in the middle of a lush forest? And how come that whatever killed out all the people and made a kitty lose its hair left all the green leaves on the trees? Maybe their super trees? Very super, since the main character can't breathe without a gas mask.
The next scene is just terrible. The man is eating roasted kitty, but before he eats, he wipes his hand with....FUCKIN KFC WET WIPES!! Fuckin advertisements.....its like *close up shot* LOOK GUYS ITS KENTUCKY FUCKIN FRIED CHICKEN!!! Those damn wet wipes have a lifespan of about a year before they go dry. Fuck you people for advertising. The scene goes on, he's eating roasted cat. A rat waddles out of the wall. What does the guy do? He tears a huge chunk of meat off, and FEEDS the rat. He doesn't roast the rat, he shares his meal with it. Oh, and speaking of, how come the rat is nice and furry and healthy, when the kitty was hairless? Now, if this scene wasn't bad enough, he wips out a shiny new iPOD with a nice bright display, and listens to it. Um....that must be a pretty fuckin awesome iPOD to have a battery that lasts 30+ years, and stays shiny and white and new.
I won't even bother angering myself over with a description of the whole movie. Gangs where men have filthy diseased dirty skin, but women have beautiful healthy skin and large bouncing breasts. How come the women are so clean and healthy? Oh, and even better, they have picked eyebrows and styled hair, and fresh makeup at ALL times. GAAAAH!! Fuck you guys. Oh, did I mention everyone wears stylish large shades that are completely dust free and polished, even though its a desert wasteland with constant dusty winds blazing over the terrain? Oh, and don't forget that the leader of the village has perfectly clean clothes and skin.
One thing I never knew was that a sword is capable of sparring with a chainsaw and blocking its spinning chain multiple times. Pretty damn sharp sword. Also, where does all the gasoline come from? They wield chainsaws, drive drag racing bikes, which guzzle gas like hell, and have nice old cars, which would be over 70 years old by this time. Old hot rods can apparently outlive an atom bomb, and desert dust and winds for 30 years. And somehow still have plenty of fuel to run. *punches self in face*
The town/village has the architecture of an old Western town. 2040, or something like that, an unknown destination in the world where people of all races have gathered for survival. And they build a town that looks like its taken out of Red Dead Redemption. Oh, the current scene has an old couple living in the middle of nowhere with a perfectly working 1920's model record player. 120 years old and still working.....now which company made those? I want one, in case the world is ending and my great grandchildren want to enjoy some old Beatles records.
By the way, the dialogue is a mix of back country redneck speech, and modern day television dialect. Great combination guys. I'm sure thats the combination of language you'd get after different races of human beings gather and survive for 30 + years after nuclear bomb destroys most of the planet.
Throughout the movie I keep thinking about Frank Herbert's DUNE series, which were written in the 1950's and had a far more realistic scenerio of human survival and adaptation to a desert climate. I hate how these days its extremely hard to find creators who are capable of being original AND realistic, with some research done into making a movie ACCURATE. Without filling the fuckin movie with advertisements running around naked for all to see. Artists and writers 60+ years ago seemed to have a better understanding of humanity and prediction of the future. Oh, by the way, Book of Eli, which is the bible, is a brand new looking leather bound edition. It survived pretty well considering its probably 80+ years old and Eli reads it EVERY SINGLE DAY!
I want to cry. I miss the old days in the movie industry. I miss the old days in literature as well. People used to be creative and smart back then. Now, they're just rich with connections, and don't know how to create anymore. Its all in the hands of the money holders. Fuck you guys.
If you create an alternate world or reality, then its ok to mix technologies and have an unrealistic combination of modern and historical. That's ok. But, if you are creating a story of what the world will be like after a nuclear bomb, at least come up with a believable set. Is that so hard to do? I have a feeling that these days movie writers only write a page or two of plot, and give it to producers, then start making the movie without writing a proper story. A page is turned into a two hour movie. And a lot of that is made with CGI. Thanks guys, for stealing my money and showing me shit. And thanks to all the mindless people who watch crap and say its wonderful because the critics said so. ARRRRRRGH!!
The one good thing about this movie is the Prophet factor. Its a cool idea how Eli was blind all along, and the Bible was in blind text, therefore completely useless to everyone but him. That was cool. But the cool idea was really wasted on a shitty movie.
One thing that puzzles me is that after only 30 years, the ruins of San Francisco, where they have everything from electric appliances to surf boards to magazines and books of all kinds, yet not one copy of the Bible survived....? The book with the most copies ever printed has NO existing copies left....?
Oh, by the way, a lovely touch at the end, the girl walks into the horizon listening to her fuckin iPOD. I hate you all. (>__<)
I understand that many people may have enjoyed this movie, and that's very ok. Good that some people can enjoy movies these days. I'm a little envious. I also apologize if what I write about movies offends people. I just happen to be a critical asshole when it comes to movies, I have a unique, and i'm 80 years old. ;P
