I'm a real person

[the_swordsman46]

The Messy Geniuses (working title)

Prologue.

Rynnewood was a town that was neither remarkably small nor noticeably large. It had a baseball team that never won and a fire station that had once burned down.
            The residents of Rynnewood bore one another no particular animosity, nor any particular amicability, and

Comments

grood

[mr_vashoom]

makes me want to stop writing. you've done it.

it reminds me a bit of vonnegut in that clipped, smile-behind-the-eyes way of telling the story with a humorous tone without humor really being apparent. i don't know. i mean you don't sound anything like vonnegut, but i guess what i'm saying is that you've got a good style, and a type of style that always works well. i kind of want to pull the narrator a bit back in places, particularly the last line of the prologue or moments like that. maybe build more to the narrator's commentary and involvement in the telling; at first just kind of tell? i don't know, the dry, i-know-more-than-you-and-its-funny narration is pretty crucial. maybe it's just that one line in general that bothers me.

but so far so good. as far as being a plotless story of life, so far it sounds very conceived (in a good way). like, you know exactly what you're doing and where things are going. maybe that isn't the case, but it comes off as very well thought out while still maintaining a very organic, happenstance feel.

kudos

Re: grood

[the_swordsman46]

Yeah, that's exactly how I felt when I read your first page of what would become Porch Life, actually. These things look significantly more impressive when you aren't the one who wrote them.

I should really read some Vonnegut, with all these comparisons I'm receiving.

But yeah, my intention with the prologue is that it's the only part of the whole story that isn't from the internal perspective of one of these three characters (except maybe the epilogue). In regards to the last line, I simply had no idea how to wrap it up and took a hammer to the voice and tone. It feels very strange and could use a revision, though I do like it in that way.