i wonder..
yeah.
boys suck, i just figured that the other day.
you never know what you have and what you'll get.
what he thinks and what he feels.
why he behaves the way he behaves.
why one day he's your best friend,
and the next day he ignores you.
some days he's hugable and some days not.
some guys are hugable and some guys not.
and usually the ones you want to hug arent.
he cant just say what he means.
he used to trust you with their life.
and no he doesnt tell you anything anymore.
he can make you feel miserable.
but yet you still like him too much to not-care.
he can be mean and say mean stuff
without actually meaning it.
or does he actually mean it?
he can jump around on your feelings,
but as soon as you do the same thing, he gets hurt easily.
he is macho infront of his "buddies"
but not all that cool once youre alone with him.
he gets jealous when you talk with another guy
or about another guy
and then ignores you,
but would never admit that he is jealous.
he gets on your nerves because he says dumb stuff.
he is complicated and stubborn
and self-centered
but you would never tell them how annoying he is.
he says that everything he does is the best thing to do
and says that very convinced.
he generally seems very convinced of himself.
but still he asks you "do you think thats ok?"
he never ever shows what they feel
yet you still exactly know whether he's alright or not
but if you ask, he's always alright.
even though you see his heart cry.
he thinks he is so strong and un-vulnerable.
and yet you think he is fragile.
he tells you that he would help you when youre down
but you doubt that he actually cares, sometimes.
you want him to make the first step towards you,
but you dont give him time to do so
because you think that something should happen now.
he seems so self-secure,
and maybe he is.
but you doubt it.
he seems perfect.
perfect.
and i am not perfect.
is he actually perfect?
do i want him perfect?
or do i want him less perfect because i want to make myself feel better next to him?
do i actually want him?
how much do i want him?
a lot.
and i know i will never get him.
boys suck, i just figured that the other day.
you never know what you have and what you'll get.
what he thinks and what he feels.
why he behaves the way he behaves.
why one day he's your best friend,
and the next day he ignores you.
some days he's hugable and some days not.
some guys are hugable and some guys not.
and usually the ones you want to hug arent.
he cant just say what he means.
he used to trust you with their life.
and no he doesnt tell you anything anymore.
he can make you feel miserable.
but yet you still like him too much to not-care.
he can be mean and say mean stuff
without actually meaning it.
or does he actually mean it?
he can jump around on your feelings,
but as soon as you do the same thing, he gets hurt easily.
he is macho infront of his "buddies"
but not all that cool once youre alone with him.
he gets jealous when you talk with another guy
or about another guy
and then ignores you,
but would never admit that he is jealous.
he gets on your nerves because he says dumb stuff.
he is complicated and stubborn
and self-centered
but you would never tell them how annoying he is.
he says that everything he does is the best thing to do
and says that very convinced.
he generally seems very convinced of himself.
but still he asks you "do you think thats ok?"
he never ever shows what they feel
yet you still exactly know whether he's alright or not
but if you ask, he's always alright.
even though you see his heart cry.
he thinks he is so strong and un-vulnerable.
and yet you think he is fragile.
he tells you that he would help you when youre down
but you doubt that he actually cares, sometimes.
you want him to make the first step towards you,
but you dont give him time to do so
because you think that something should happen now.
he seems so self-secure,
and maybe he is.
but you doubt it.
he seems perfect.
perfect.
and i am not perfect.
is he actually perfect?
do i want him perfect?
or do i want him less perfect because i want to make myself feel better next to him?
do i actually want him?
how much do i want him?
a lot.
and i know i will never get him.