MANLY PICSPAM
Picspam time!
So one of the many things I'm enjoying about JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is the way it plays around with the definition of what is "manly." The standard definition of "manliness" is a big grunting mash up of oversized muscles, boring clothes, alcoholism, meat-eating, punching things, shooting things, killing things, never showing an emotion besides "GRR GRR," getting into penis-size contests with other dudes, and basically doing everything in your power to avoid being mistaken for gay. The numerous male characters of JoJo's certainly aren't devoid of these traditionally manly traits, but they balance them out by also engaging in behavior that is traditionally considered feminine, and they do so without becoming any less awesome, badass, or secure in themselves.
I'm talking about shit like this:
I mean just look at this. We already know from reading TV Tropes that pink is manly. But dressing head-to-toe in bright pink with a heart-shaped cleavage window, a ladybug motif, and a hairdo that probably takes a ton of time, energy, and hair gel to maintain, all while standing in a cloud of pink flower petals? That is the very epic pinnacle of MANLY.
As evidenced by the previous picture, heart shapes are MANLY, but why stop at just a heart-shaped cleavage window? You can exponentially increase your manliness by sticking hearts all over your outfit.
Giorno seems to have inherited his heart motif from his dad, Dio, who was so MANLY that even his male minions wanted to get in his pants.
Another consistently MANLY trait in JoJo's is lipstick.
I swear, the more MANLY you are, the more lurid your lipstick. Green and blue are favored colors.
But more usual colors like pink or red are good too.
Baring your midriff is MANLY.
This dates back to the early days of JoJo's with Joseph Joestar, who was totally comfortable with showing off his MANLY abs.
And while we're on the subject of Joseph, crying is also very MANLY, so long as you don't do it half-assed.
Wearing cherry-shaped earrings is pretty MANLY. (This is a crappy picture, but yes, they're shaped like actual cherries.)
As you've already probably gathered, cleavage windows are MANLY, even if they're not heart-shaped. You get extra MANLY points if your cleavage window shows off an intricate chest tattoo that makes it look like you're wearing a black lace bustier.
Tube tops are extremely MANLY.
Skirts are pretty MANLY as well. (Come on, how else would you describe that orange thing that Narancia always wears?)
Long flowing gorgeous shampoo-commercial hair is MANLY.
Especially if it's pink.
Hell, why not go all out: CROSSDRESSING IS MANLY!
Posing like a model is a consistent indicator of manliness in JoJo's, so much so that I could fill a whole separate picspam with all the various MANLY poses struck by the male characters.
Posing for Gucci? Rohan, I think you just broke the MANLY meter.
I don't even know what the fuck is going on here, but it involves Gyro so it must be MANLY stuff.
Speaking of Gyro, I'm pretty sure that groping your male BFF's thigh while you do the classic leg cling from any pulpy fantasy-adventure novel cover is the manliest goddamn thing I've ever seen. Even more so if your male BFF is wearing extremely tight pants.
Grinding on your male BFF is pretty dang MANLY.
Licking a dude's face is also MANLY, even if you feel compelled to make up an improbable work-related excuse for it.
Being gay is definitely MANLY, especially if you are also superpowered gangsters with fabulous taste in fashion.
And as Giorno has firmly established, standing in a cloud of flower petals is MANLY.
Gyro can attest to this.
THE END
So one of the many things I'm enjoying about JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is the way it plays around with the definition of what is "manly." The standard definition of "manliness" is a big grunting mash up of oversized muscles, boring clothes, alcoholism, meat-eating, punching things, shooting things, killing things, never showing an emotion besides "GRR GRR," getting into penis-size contests with other dudes, and basically doing everything in your power to avoid being mistaken for gay. The numerous male characters of JoJo's certainly aren't devoid of these traditionally manly traits, but they balance them out by also engaging in behavior that is traditionally considered feminine, and they do so without becoming any less awesome, badass, or secure in themselves.
I'm talking about shit like this:
I mean just look at this. We already know from reading TV Tropes that pink is manly. But dressing head-to-toe in bright pink with a heart-shaped cleavage window, a ladybug motif, and a hairdo that probably takes a ton of time, energy, and hair gel to maintain, all while standing in a cloud of pink flower petals? That is the very epic pinnacle of MANLY.
As evidenced by the previous picture, heart shapes are MANLY, but why stop at just a heart-shaped cleavage window? You can exponentially increase your manliness by sticking hearts all over your outfit.
Giorno seems to have inherited his heart motif from his dad, Dio, who was so MANLY that even his male minions wanted to get in his pants.
Another consistently MANLY trait in JoJo's is lipstick.
I swear, the more MANLY you are, the more lurid your lipstick. Green and blue are favored colors.
But more usual colors like pink or red are good too.
Baring your midriff is MANLY.
This dates back to the early days of JoJo's with Joseph Joestar, who was totally comfortable with showing off his MANLY abs.
And while we're on the subject of Joseph, crying is also very MANLY, so long as you don't do it half-assed.
Wearing cherry-shaped earrings is pretty MANLY. (This is a crappy picture, but yes, they're shaped like actual cherries.)
As you've already probably gathered, cleavage windows are MANLY, even if they're not heart-shaped. You get extra MANLY points if your cleavage window shows off an intricate chest tattoo that makes it look like you're wearing a black lace bustier.
Tube tops are extremely MANLY.
Skirts are pretty MANLY as well. (Come on, how else would you describe that orange thing that Narancia always wears?)
Long flowing gorgeous shampoo-commercial hair is MANLY.
Especially if it's pink.
Hell, why not go all out: CROSSDRESSING IS MANLY!
Posing like a model is a consistent indicator of manliness in JoJo's, so much so that I could fill a whole separate picspam with all the various MANLY poses struck by the male characters.
Posing for Gucci? Rohan, I think you just broke the MANLY meter.
I don't even know what the fuck is going on here, but it involves Gyro so it must be MANLY stuff.
Speaking of Gyro, I'm pretty sure that groping your male BFF's thigh while you do the classic leg cling from any pulpy fantasy-adventure novel cover is the manliest goddamn thing I've ever seen. Even more so if your male BFF is wearing extremely tight pants.
Grinding on your male BFF is pretty dang MANLY.
Licking a dude's face is also MANLY, even if you feel compelled to make up an improbable work-related excuse for it.
Being gay is definitely MANLY, especially if you are also superpowered gangsters with fabulous taste in fashion.
And as Giorno has firmly established, standing in a cloud of flower petals is MANLY.
Gyro can attest to this.
THE END