Meh...I guess
Holy hell...I feel drained. I spent the weekend with James...we ended up talking a lot...but in the end just re-hashed a bunch of things and didn't really get anything settled.
Nothing settled. At all.
He's got so many things he wants to do, but he hasn't gotten off his backside and done them. I'm working on getting places and have moved a good distance forward in my life. I feel as though I've left him behind.
I've figured out a couple things: I would like to be married and have a family before I'm 30. Whomever I end up with needs to have a motorcycle. I've neglected half of my sexuality (dominant sadistic) for the past two years in order to please James.
I'd be moving backwards if I got back together with James.
I can't be submissive all the fucking time. I just can't do it.
I'd like very much for my next relationship to be my last (yes, in that context). At the same time, I REFUSE to rush myself into a relationship. Probably around Halloween I'll evaluate the situations I'm in and take a look around me at what all interested parties have made it that far or what new ones have come on scene. I'm planning on being picky to an extent and quite frankly, they better be able to keep up with me or if nothing else, be honestly happy for me when I achieve something.
Even James has admitted I have to do what is best for ME! So I'm going to...but it's not going to make some people happy.
Nothing settled. At all.
He's got so many things he wants to do, but he hasn't gotten off his backside and done them. I'm working on getting places and have moved a good distance forward in my life. I feel as though I've left him behind.
I've figured out a couple things: I would like to be married and have a family before I'm 30. Whomever I end up with needs to have a motorcycle. I've neglected half of my sexuality (dominant sadistic) for the past two years in order to please James.
I'd be moving backwards if I got back together with James.
I can't be submissive all the fucking time. I just can't do it.
I'd like very much for my next relationship to be my last (yes, in that context). At the same time, I REFUSE to rush myself into a relationship. Probably around Halloween I'll evaluate the situations I'm in and take a look around me at what all interested parties have made it that far or what new ones have come on scene. I'm planning on being picky to an extent and quite frankly, they better be able to keep up with me or if nothing else, be honestly happy for me when I achieve something.
Even James has admitted I have to do what is best for ME! So I'm going to...but it's not going to make some people happy.