Good Enough
It's not often that I get a chance to just sit and think so I guess that having strep isn't such a bad thing.
You know what bugs me most about the industry that I'm in...and maybe it's pervasive, I don't know...what bothers me is that the resources that are allocated to any one department or project are such that you can only ever achieve “good enough".
As children we are raised in the theory that if we do our best, we will be recognized and rewarded - that we will feel good about ourselves. Then, we get out into the workforce only to find that mediocrity is not only accepted, it is planned for, expected.
I think that this is where I fail as a manager in that I expect people to understand the requirements and do their very best to meet them without handholding. No...on second thought, that is where I fail as a program manager because I haven't had the luxury of selecting my team. That the people that I have been saddled with have become used to doing things only marginally adequately and I have not found a way to motivate them to do more; aside from maybe hounding them daily to get the job done - a job which I loathe and quite frankly, one for which I do not have the time. To be fair, the people on the team are just as resource tapped as I am, and cannot do more - quite likely. Being able to handpick a team in the environment that I am in right now would do me no good because the establishment would not allow a large enough team to do a great job without losing our home life and our sanity.
The need to make money; the ever present bottom line has made it virtually impossible to really care about the employees well being. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that it is my employer's responsibility to give me a sense of self worth - but wouldn't it be nice if we could, once in a while, feel like we have done our best.
I would love to establish my own business - no idea what it would be. But I would never let it get so big that we would lose ourselves to the bottom line. Pipedream.
Ok...so let's dream. I think that if I could hand pick my team, I would surround myself with people who take pride in what they do. Whatever happened to that? Is this something that we can only now achieve in hobbies? Do we have to become craftsmen in order to be able to achieve that sense of accomplishment in a job well done? I can't remember the last time that I felt like I did a good job. I've gotten things done, but rarely to my satisfaction.
Ugh!
I've never been lucky enough to find something that I was passionate about. Some people are passionate about writing, others about their art or their craft and have been able to satisfy that need to do their best, that was ingrained in them as children, and maybe even eke out a living. I wish that I could find that in a hobby that would supplement the inadequacies of my job. Better yet, would that I could find a way to make a living at it.
Maybe it is my work ethic that makes me rail against the norm at work. If I didn't have the work ethic, maybe I could find something that I could do that made my heart sing. Maybe if I didn't worry so much about the fact that I wasn't doing my best - because I can't do my best - because there just isn't enough of me - I'd be able to relax enough to enjoy life a little more and maybe I would find my passion. That's a tall order for me.
Ah...to be independently wealthy.
Now where was that lottery ticket!
You know what bugs me most about the industry that I'm in...and maybe it's pervasive, I don't know...what bothers me is that the resources that are allocated to any one department or project are such that you can only ever achieve “good enough".
As children we are raised in the theory that if we do our best, we will be recognized and rewarded - that we will feel good about ourselves. Then, we get out into the workforce only to find that mediocrity is not only accepted, it is planned for, expected.
I think that this is where I fail as a manager in that I expect people to understand the requirements and do their very best to meet them without handholding. No...on second thought, that is where I fail as a program manager because I haven't had the luxury of selecting my team. That the people that I have been saddled with have become used to doing things only marginally adequately and I have not found a way to motivate them to do more; aside from maybe hounding them daily to get the job done - a job which I loathe and quite frankly, one for which I do not have the time. To be fair, the people on the team are just as resource tapped as I am, and cannot do more - quite likely. Being able to handpick a team in the environment that I am in right now would do me no good because the establishment would not allow a large enough team to do a great job without losing our home life and our sanity.
The need to make money; the ever present bottom line has made it virtually impossible to really care about the employees well being. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that it is my employer's responsibility to give me a sense of self worth - but wouldn't it be nice if we could, once in a while, feel like we have done our best.
I would love to establish my own business - no idea what it would be. But I would never let it get so big that we would lose ourselves to the bottom line. Pipedream.
Ok...so let's dream. I think that if I could hand pick my team, I would surround myself with people who take pride in what they do. Whatever happened to that? Is this something that we can only now achieve in hobbies? Do we have to become craftsmen in order to be able to achieve that sense of accomplishment in a job well done? I can't remember the last time that I felt like I did a good job. I've gotten things done, but rarely to my satisfaction.
Ugh!
I've never been lucky enough to find something that I was passionate about. Some people are passionate about writing, others about their art or their craft and have been able to satisfy that need to do their best, that was ingrained in them as children, and maybe even eke out a living. I wish that I could find that in a hobby that would supplement the inadequacies of my job. Better yet, would that I could find a way to make a living at it.
Maybe it is my work ethic that makes me rail against the norm at work. If I didn't have the work ethic, maybe I could find something that I could do that made my heart sing. Maybe if I didn't worry so much about the fact that I wasn't doing my best - because I can't do my best - because there just isn't enough of me - I'd be able to relax enough to enjoy life a little more and maybe I would find my passion. That's a tall order for me.
Ah...to be independently wealthy.
Now where was that lottery ticket!