(no subject)
so the first thing that is in order is to apologize to all of my lj-friends out there for not updating in so freaking long. i realize most of you probably forgot i was on your friends list at all, huh?
life is hectic, but even with working full time, i have more time than i used to. And I still don't update my journal. It's sad.
Lizzy is beautiful, an absolutely gorgeous 2 month old. She is 11 pounds, and 12 ounces. As of a few days ago. So it's probably 12 pounds now. She's not even three months old and has gained 4 pounds from when she was born. The pediatrician is happy with it though, so i'm not worried about her being a chubby child. she smiles at me, coos and laughs, and tries to talk to me. she tried so hard to tell me she loved me tonight that she got annoyed and practically screamed what she could pronouce of it.
"- operation filth, they love to love the wealth of an s.s. whore making scary sounds." betcha you can't guess what song that lyric came from. i'm listening to my playlist, so likely i'll be breaking into random lyrics.
.......ha ha it's "living dead girl." do you love me? sing it to me.... living dead girl. i'm on a rob zombie/white zombie kick today. don't know why.
lizzy is sleeping through the night now. which is rare for a 2 month old. i am crossing my fingers that it'll last. whatever time she goes to sleep, she sleeps through a 8 or 9 hour period from that. she usually sleeps about 10p-6a or 11p-7a. i'm hoping since it was almost midnight that it'll be 8 tomorrow before she wakes up. and then she takes her first bottle, and goes back to sleep after about an hour of being awake. so it's pretty sweet. i get lots of sleep.
... oh this is a good one. betcha you don't know this one.
"where's my wife and family? what if i die here? who'll be my role model now that my role model is gone, baby, gone, baby?"
(paul simon- "you can call me al") how's that for an oldie? but goodie?
what else can i say?
ummmm... my dad called me today out of nowhere. that was weird, but good. i haven't seen him since lizzy was between one and two weeks old. they came up for a few hours and left the same day, and i haven't spoken to him since that day.
anyway, i'm gonna bullshit some more and then go.
dear you,
i can't stand you. i know you stole things, i know you forged my name on them. i know you drank alcohol on the job. i know that you are nothing but a lazy bitch, and because i am your boss, i can't tell you these things. but you won't pull that drinking or stealing shit anymore. we have cameras. the cameras forced you to stop pulling stunts. i wish my boss had fired you instead of blowing off all your shit so he wouldn't get in trouble for letting you do it.
fuck you, and you, and me for believing you would tell your boss. i should have just called him myself. you're horrible.
dear you,
i wish i could get past what happened. i want to be friends again, the way we used to be, but i've changed. more than you know. i am no longer a child at heart. perhaps i never was. and i pretended to be.
i miss what we used to have, and i have resigned myself to the fact that it will never be what it was. and i wish you could see that too. however, i don't feel like we are teasing ourselves by doing this. i feel that it's the way it should be. distance seperates us and it always will.
dear you,
grow the fuck up. when will you stop living in your dream world? you're not 14 anymore.
dear you,
when will i see you again? I miss you more than you know.
dear you,
i love you more than anything. you are my life.
dear you,
the only thing in this world that matters to me is your happiness. did you know that? oh wait, i told you already today.
i love you guys.
- kara
life is hectic, but even with working full time, i have more time than i used to. And I still don't update my journal. It's sad.
Lizzy is beautiful, an absolutely gorgeous 2 month old. She is 11 pounds, and 12 ounces. As of a few days ago. So it's probably 12 pounds now. She's not even three months old and has gained 4 pounds from when she was born. The pediatrician is happy with it though, so i'm not worried about her being a chubby child. she smiles at me, coos and laughs, and tries to talk to me. she tried so hard to tell me she loved me tonight that she got annoyed and practically screamed what she could pronouce of it.
"- operation filth, they love to love the wealth of an s.s. whore making scary sounds." betcha you can't guess what song that lyric came from. i'm listening to my playlist, so likely i'll be breaking into random lyrics.
.......ha ha it's "living dead girl." do you love me? sing it to me.... living dead girl. i'm on a rob zombie/white zombie kick today. don't know why.
lizzy is sleeping through the night now. which is rare for a 2 month old. i am crossing my fingers that it'll last. whatever time she goes to sleep, she sleeps through a 8 or 9 hour period from that. she usually sleeps about 10p-6a or 11p-7a. i'm hoping since it was almost midnight that it'll be 8 tomorrow before she wakes up. and then she takes her first bottle, and goes back to sleep after about an hour of being awake. so it's pretty sweet. i get lots of sleep.
... oh this is a good one. betcha you don't know this one.
"where's my wife and family? what if i die here? who'll be my role model now that my role model is gone, baby, gone, baby?"
(paul simon- "you can call me al") how's that for an oldie? but goodie?
what else can i say?
ummmm... my dad called me today out of nowhere. that was weird, but good. i haven't seen him since lizzy was between one and two weeks old. they came up for a few hours and left the same day, and i haven't spoken to him since that day.
anyway, i'm gonna bullshit some more and then go.
dear you,
i can't stand you. i know you stole things, i know you forged my name on them. i know you drank alcohol on the job. i know that you are nothing but a lazy bitch, and because i am your boss, i can't tell you these things. but you won't pull that drinking or stealing shit anymore. we have cameras. the cameras forced you to stop pulling stunts. i wish my boss had fired you instead of blowing off all your shit so he wouldn't get in trouble for letting you do it.
fuck you, and you, and me for believing you would tell your boss. i should have just called him myself. you're horrible.
dear you,
i wish i could get past what happened. i want to be friends again, the way we used to be, but i've changed. more than you know. i am no longer a child at heart. perhaps i never was. and i pretended to be.
i miss what we used to have, and i have resigned myself to the fact that it will never be what it was. and i wish you could see that too. however, i don't feel like we are teasing ourselves by doing this. i feel that it's the way it should be. distance seperates us and it always will.
dear you,
grow the fuck up. when will you stop living in your dream world? you're not 14 anymore.
dear you,
when will i see you again? I miss you more than you know.
dear you,
i love you more than anything. you are my life.
dear you,
the only thing in this world that matters to me is your happiness. did you know that? oh wait, i told you already today.
i love you guys.
- kara