(no subject)
In the spirit of this article I'm basically going to do the same, but a little closer to home.
I sign in to my Gaydar (why do I still have this?) and have a message from a man (boy?) called "01924". This interests me/creeps me out slightly as my home phone number begins with this, and this guy is so unimaginative that he has to put the dullest information as his screen name. His message reads:
"hi im si 18m just owt side leeds u look ace hows u"
Now I'm not the most literate person, but I make the effort to be coherent. Taken from what he's saying, keyboard-grunt-to-English translation reads:
"Hi, I'm Si, eighteen metre's, just anything side Leeds. You look ace, how are you?"
So, we can establish that this indivdual is
a) named Si (mon?)
b) he is, or posses something of eighteen metre's in length (worrying by both counts)
c) I honestly can't make enough sense of "just anything side Leeds" to make a witty comment
d) he thinks I look 'ace' and wants to know how I am. I don't know how to take this odd compliment but conclude he wants to kill me and feed my skin to his cat.
My fear is confirmed when I see his (only) photo:
This photo was taken on the phone of his last victim (Most rapists keep a memento, I guess his is phones). If I'm wrong, then its probably a photo he got someone to take for him while in prison. (Most likely in trade for a quick feel up by Brian from Cell D.)
A quick glance at his "about" section and we learn more about my new potential boyfriend (I think things are looking pretty hot so far, don't you!?):
"owt going funny liek to get pist alot"
Translates to:
"Anything going funny, like to get drunk a lot"
Again we now know:
a) He likes those situation where things are just about to go a little wrong, with hilarious consequences. (Like those bits on You've Been Framed where they pause the Granny just about to slip on the icy path before the adverts and ask "What happens next!?")
b) He likes to get twat-faced. I'm going to be honest here, if I looked like that, I'd probably be on the Winehouse diet too.
I think I might message this guy back, this could be the start of something special. I can picture us sat on his (not originally) brown sofa, cat in lap, laughing the night away drinking ourselves into an early grave.
My response:
"u r fit 2 mate. do u av a cat or owt?"
I'll let you know how it goes.
I sign in to my Gaydar (why do I still have this?) and have a message from a man (boy?) called "01924". This interests me/creeps me out slightly as my home phone number begins with this, and this guy is so unimaginative that he has to put the dullest information as his screen name. His message reads:
"hi im si 18m just owt side leeds u look ace hows u"
Now I'm not the most literate person, but I make the effort to be coherent. Taken from what he's saying, keyboard-grunt-to-English translation reads:
"Hi, I'm Si, eighteen metre's, just anything side Leeds. You look ace, how are you?"
So, we can establish that this indivdual is
a) named Si (mon?)
b) he is, or posses something of eighteen metre's in length (worrying by both counts)
c) I honestly can't make enough sense of "just anything side Leeds" to make a witty comment
d) he thinks I look 'ace' and wants to know how I am. I don't know how to take this odd compliment but conclude he wants to kill me and feed my skin to his cat.
My fear is confirmed when I see his (only) photo:
This photo was taken on the phone of his last victim (Most rapists keep a memento, I guess his is phones). If I'm wrong, then its probably a photo he got someone to take for him while in prison. (Most likely in trade for a quick feel up by Brian from Cell D.)
A quick glance at his "about" section and we learn more about my new potential boyfriend (I think things are looking pretty hot so far, don't you!?):
"owt going funny liek to get pist alot"
Translates to:
"Anything going funny, like to get drunk a lot"
Again we now know:
a) He likes those situation where things are just about to go a little wrong, with hilarious consequences. (Like those bits on You've Been Framed where they pause the Granny just about to slip on the icy path before the adverts and ask "What happens next!?")
b) He likes to get twat-faced. I'm going to be honest here, if I looked like that, I'd probably be on the Winehouse diet too.
I think I might message this guy back, this could be the start of something special. I can picture us sat on his (not originally) brown sofa, cat in lap, laughing the night away drinking ourselves into an early grave.
My response:
"u r fit 2 mate. do u av a cat or owt?"
I'll let you know how it goes.