Creepy Shitter Guy
I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but there is a creature out there known as "Creepy Shitter Guy". He's known to hide out in random restops and public restrooms throughout the country. I think there's an army of people out there who go to meetings on Tuesdays to plan on how to shit creepily while in public then they go out and do it.
See, if you go into a public restroom and hear someone in the stall making noises like "Hhhhuuurrrr....hhhhuuuunnnnn....grrrrrr....*fart*" followed by the sound of water splashing and heavy breathing you've just had a Creepy Shitter Guy experience. A few days ago I went to take a piss in a Kroger bathroom and Creepy Shitter Guy was there. I didn't notice until I was standing at the urinal until I hear the heavy breathing and farting, but I detected another noise, it was odd and distinct. It sounded like a candy wrapper being unwrapped. Goddamned if I didn't hear crunching a few minutes later. Creepy Shitter Guy was eating a candy bar (I assume) whilst dropping the foster kids off at the pool.
Now this draws me to two possible conclusions. The first being what I stated earlier, there is a secret order of creepy shitters that go out to patrol the land and weird out people who stop at rest stops. The other is that it's purely by accident. I don't know, but the idea of a secret creepy shitter society amuses the hell out of me.
Now that you've probably puked in your moth a little bit back to your regular non-scatological programming.
See, if you go into a public restroom and hear someone in the stall making noises like "Hhhhuuurrrr....hhhhuuuunnnnn....grrrrrr....*fart*" followed by the sound of water splashing and heavy breathing you've just had a Creepy Shitter Guy experience. A few days ago I went to take a piss in a Kroger bathroom and Creepy Shitter Guy was there. I didn't notice until I was standing at the urinal until I hear the heavy breathing and farting, but I detected another noise, it was odd and distinct. It sounded like a candy wrapper being unwrapped. Goddamned if I didn't hear crunching a few minutes later. Creepy Shitter Guy was eating a candy bar (I assume) whilst dropping the foster kids off at the pool.
Now this draws me to two possible conclusions. The first being what I stated earlier, there is a secret order of creepy shitters that go out to patrol the land and weird out people who stop at rest stops. The other is that it's purely by accident. I don't know, but the idea of a secret creepy shitter society amuses the hell out of me.
Now that you've probably puked in your moth a little bit back to your regular non-scatological programming.