HP and the Half-Blood Prince Review Page

[mariagoner]

I think it would be nice to have a central place where we could put all the media reviews, our own reviews, and confirmations of spoiler information people like Roxy were kind enough to post in the first place. I haven't pre-ordered the book (an action I'm bitterly regretting now, caught up in the HP fever as always!) and I just hope Mira will will

Comments

[mariagoner]

Hola! It's been very interesting to see so many new peoplecome into The_Snarkery... must be the new books bringing them out!

Draco and Snape are, I believe, red herrings; there is reason to suspect both of them as DEs, though for various reasons I feel they will both be redeemed. Most will enjoy Harry's obsession with Draco and Snape's highly ambiguous morality, not to mention the fact that Draco seems to be unable to cast an Avada.

It's nice to know that Snarry and H/D shippers will still have something to look forward, if nothing else. And I'm glad Snape and Draco's affiliations are still ambiguous, since I'll seriously give up in disgust if all the Slytherins (besides a token "nice" character, perhaps) end up being EVOL no matter how many chances the saintly Gryffindors hand over to them.

...And I betcha that Draco's inability to cast the Big One will be treated with much more contempt that Harry's inability to cast Crucio. Call it a hunch, if you will.

Lord Voldemort's history is indeed revealed, which could have been very

[mariagoner]

OH MY GOD that all sounds so much more horrible and contrived than I could even imagine! Maybe, just maybe, JKR has turned into a wonderful word-smith during the 2+ years we spent waiting for HPHBP and can write that all off wonderfully... but based on the hideous U-NO-POO excerpt, I don't think that's the case. This book (which my younger sister is hogging up now, grrr!) is going to be like watching a menagarie of cockroaches mating... hideous but curiously, terribly compelling.

...And Marietta is still marked-up by Hermione's awful curse? Jesus, learn to let GO of things, JKR! This whole glorification-of-a-traitor's-comeuppance bent she's got going on is pretty horrific in and of itself!

[mariagoner]

Hey, anything that brings attention to Snape and actually layers some damn complexity onto the cardboard protagonist that IS Draco Malfoy is a-ok with me! I'm heading over to your LJ to read your reaction to the book now. Thanks for all the spoilers so far! :D

And ugh, of course Cho has to feel guilty for breaking up with Harry. If she didn't we wouldn't know Harry Stu really was the perfect boyfriend for Ginny Sue, would we?

...JKR seriously is writing along the lines of OBHWF, isn't she? Jesus, you'd think she'd shade at least a little towards the less predictable in the written romantic relationships. Just a little, y'know. Throw the femmeslashers or alt shippers a bone or something. Euugh!

[mariagoner]

Luna acts as a Quidditch commentator?! OMG, teh cute, I could just perish of it now reading it second-hand. Luna, Snape, and Draco are, I suspect, going to be the only brights spots in the book for me. (Even Ron, I suspect is about to be tarnished by his bizarre, unhealthy, yet now probably solidly canon relationship with Hermione Sue. Eeek!) I'm not sure if their awesomeness is going to outweigh reading about the increasing perfection of Dumbledore, Harry and Ginny-- but hell, at least they'll make me stick to the series for a while longer.

(...Btw... is Luna shipped with anybody? Because if she hooks up with someone equally adorable-- like Zacharias Smith!-- I will just die of absolute adoration for JKR, despite everything else. No seriously, I will. I'd be willing to forgive her for even Ginny!)

[mariagoner]

Huh, so all of JKR's talk about Neville becoming his own man and being Harry's destiny doppleganger in the 5th book was apparently rot. Neville was one of the most dynamic and interesting characters in the 5th book-- and god knows he had the most dramatic and interesting character arc there as well. It's just hideously disappointing to hear that suddenly he's been shoved off to the side to make room for the further adventures of Ginny Sue. Between the "Phegelm" remarks about Fleur and her apparently assaulting people with a broom stick (making her, I suppose, the wizarding world's equivalent of Lil Slugger), she's become an insufferable character-- as opposed to the merely annoying and implausable one she was in the 5th book.

And Luna and Zacharias = crazy, sexy good times as far as I'm concerned! She's spacy and gently detached from common sense; he's bitter, bitchy and skeptical-- like Draco, but less homicidal. How is that a couple anyone can resist! It's just as well she's not in Harry Stu's orbit any longer, I suppose. There

[mariagoner]

Oh yes, and doesn't she also hex Zacharias for asking her "too many questions" about the MOM battle? Geezus, what vicious, bullying bitch-- she's less the reincarnation of Lily Evans than James Potter!

[merrymelody]

What if Neville's mother wasn't a saint like Lily and wouldn't have sacrificed herself? But she probably would have, because all mothers are saintly by virtue of functional ovaries. But what if she hadn't, or the situation had changed? Then the world would be doomed. Therefore I am the Chosen One!

BWHAHAHA. Oh, I like you!
Of course Neville's mum wouldn't have. Alice and Frank wouldn't have wanted to die for their patently inferior son because he's just not as worthy of love as Harry. (They probably would have died for Harry himself, though.) And they weren't as giving and warm as Lily. Plus they were plump. Bastards! No wonder they end up crazy, it's all they deserve.

[malafede]

Luna/Zacharias sounds like the only good het that could come out of this book. That, and Draco/Pansy. But of course, they aren't the saccharine-driven heroes who's feelings can only be epic, grandiose, and apparently only explained by shared perfection.

I loved Fleur before but after this book I have I feeling I'll be building shrines.

[mariagoner]

Frankly, I'd rather read about the drips, the odd-balls, the losers, the weirdos and the all around ordinary chumps of the wizarding world than the pin-up boys and girls that Jo Rowling is convinced we all salivate over. Luna + Zacharias, Draco + Pansy and Neville + Various Icky Penis-like Plants 4eva!!1

And Fleur is a saint to put up with all the shit that she does from the rancid female parts of the Weasley family-- she really is. Ginny and her mother are bitches of the same feather, I swear!

[tekalynn]

The Weasleys are the Inlaws from HELL. I felt terrible for poor Fleur all the way through. I would have hexed the lot of them and run off with my fiance to Egypt. With no forwarding address.

Ginny needs a good spanking. And not the "fun" kind.