(Untitled)

[merrymelody]

Dumbledore’s Army

Happily this chapter is shorter, and the next one is The Lion Versus the Serpent and Teh H/D!111, maybe to make up for the approaching ‘Hagrid’s Tale.’

In which there is a bad 80s training montage and Harry gets a whistle. And the ability to read Voldie’s mind. But not to shut up.

Also, I don’t usually rec fic here, but this

Comments

[jollityfarm]

I can imagine that what Filch sees is a bunch of privileged little brats strutting about, thinking they own the world and that it’s the job of lower-class people and non-magic folk to clean up after them; with Harry, the famous kid who reads his personal correspondence, as their king.

Oh yeah. Harry needs to be smacked in the head by a squib one day.

"Oh wow, you have to be the big hero and your special powers that elevate you above everyone else in the school must be such a fucking burden for you. I am being sympathetic, I always smack people in the head when I feel sympathy for them."

(why does she never criticise Harry's wand movements, anyway?)

Because criticising everything someone does is a sure sign you are truly Meant To Be. It really is, ask anyone. Go to the S****Q**** and ask them.

If Ron and Hermione do marry and have children, I feel the utmost sympathy for those kids, I really do. I personally am walking, talking, gibbering proof that couples who "bicker" all the time don't make for the most stable of family households.

Can anyone name one piece of useful knowledge Sirius has imparted? On anyone? Ever?

1)He told Harry that he never done it, and brought out Pettigrew Rat as proof. Adding a whole new dimension to the idea of family pets and letting them in your bed :0
2)He assured us that one can judge a man by how he treats his social inferiors, which allowed us excellent opportunities for judging him.

Other than that, I'm struggling.

I'm not really getting a sense that anyone exists outside their relationship with Harry.

'Tis true. Either Harry is monumentally self-centred and cannot imagine a world without some kind of opinion of him, or Rowling cannot comprehend the idea of secondary character development.

Oh good. Another amazing talent and power of Harry’s. We certainly haven’t had enough of those recently.

Another justification for my theory that Harry would be utterly devastated if he woke up ordinary one day. Yeah, he says he hates it, but it's bullshit, just like all those celebrities who call press conferences to tell the press to stop intruding into their lives.

Great way of reassuring someone while simultaneously asserting how tragic and manly you are.

And again, I say that if he had nothing to be manly about, he'd just get depressed. I am suddenly reminded of those oh-so-twagic stories of men who are at a loose end because they "don't understand what their role in society is any more". I suspect these men to be Harry sorts who can't feel well-balanced if they aren't being manly and protecting someone - or rather, being macho idiots who'd start a fight with the first hapless goon who was "looking at my bird".

Also, Dobby didn’t lose Harry’s bones all by himself.

Gilderoy did it. Maybe Hermione has Selective Memory or is a bit embarassed to bring up Gilderoy in case someone says something at her in a mocking way. Which I certainly would.

Um. Why do they have to raise hands?

I think it's just an involuntary spasm in Hermione. She needs to get that seen to.

And why a homework group needs a formal, authoritatian leader for.

Well, it's not a homework group as much as Harry Potter and Hermione Granger's macho army of get the bad kids CAPSLOCK HELLSEX. A group like that fairly cries out for a rough, tough slightly sweaty bad boy maverick leader. Not that Harry's a Bad Boy. Oh no, Harry's a lovely chap who just happens to fulfil about 80% of the criteria for a sexy "Bad Boy". But anyway. Also, societies need one strong and all-powerful leader to look up to, as long as that leader is our kind of chap. Or chapess. Hermione certainly thinks this anyway - she believes that a fascist dictatorship is fine provided she's the dictator.

[merrymelody]

"Oh wow, you have to be the big hero and your special powers that elevate you above everyone else in the school must be such a fucking burden for you. I am being sympathetic, I always smack people in the head when I feel sympathy for them."

Yes, it must be so tough for you being one of the most powerful wizards in the world, whereas I can't even equal first years. And having the entire community adore you, whereas I'm a pathetic outsider. And being young and cute whereas I'm a bitter old man, who you and your snotnose mates find it funny to annoy by reading my personal correspondence and then using against me. And then without irony, accuse me of not caring about your rights. (Actually, there's a really interesting bit in CoS where Ron, post knowing Filch is a squib, wishes the monster would get him. Atdelphi wrote a Filch essay, and she mentioned this, saying 'imagine a Slytherin had said it, and the furore that would ensue: 'OMG, RACISM!11')

Adding a whole new dimension to the idea of family pets and letting them in your bed

Peter/Ron. OTP, baby. Theirloveissocanon. I'm not even kidding - http://www.livejournal.com/users/pauraque/116851.html

He assured us that one can judge a man by how he treats his social inferiors, which allowed us excellent opportunities for judging him.

Without judging characters, my readthroughs would be about 3 lines long!

Either Harry is monumentally self-centred and cannot imagine a world without some kind of opinion of him, or Rowling cannot comprehend the idea of secondary character development.

Oh, can't it be both?

Yeah, he says he hates it, but it's bullshit, just like all those celebrities who call press conferences to tell the press to stop intruding into their lives.

Bwhahaha. Excellent analogy.
Yes, Harry firmly protests the coverage of him in the prophet because it's unflattering for ideological reasons, but a fawning profile in the Quibbler written to his exact specifications is all right.

I am suddenly reminded of those oh-so-twagic stories of men who are at a loose end because they "don't understand what their role in society is any more".

Oh, I loathe those. Cry me a river. Must be so tough not having equal pay etc. Oh no, wait...

Gilderoy did it. Maybe Hermione has Selective Memory or is a bit embarassed to bring up Gilderoy in case someone says something at her in a mocking way. Which I certainly would.

As would I.
Although I didn't have much sympathy with Harry after they said 'No, Harry, you'll get squished by bludgers, let's call the match off!' and he had to be all macho Jim and say 'Let Slytherin win? NEVER. I'd quite literally rather die.'
And then in PoA, again, where they were all 'Harry, the dementors!' and he was like 'No, winning an athletics match is far more important than my health.'
And then we're expected to feel bad when he does indeed end up in hospital? I think not.

Not that Harry's a Bad Boy. Oh no, Harry's a lovely chap who just happens to fulfil about 80% of the criteria for a sexy "Bad Boy".

Harry's the perfect boyfriend. JKR says so! A hero! And a nice man!
So's Sirius, apparently, who isn't at all a bad boy with his motorcycle, bouts of drinking and tortured past. Nope.
The bad guys are helpfully enough, the ugly guys who obsess over petty rules and regulations and/or run from danger.

Or chapess.

Not a chapess! You've seen what happens when women get above their stations and teach important, manly classes like DADA; or become Headteacher. Far better that women keep their natural role, as second-in-command to a bloke; like Hermione or McGonagall. Or I guess, G-P.