Percy and Padfoot
Chapter Fourteen
Still finishing that damn previous half-chapter.
* The first week of term seemed to have dragged on for ever, like one gigantic History of Magic lesson.
Ha! It also dragged to read, JKR, if you're wondering, and not in an ultra-realistic, dark, gritty way. More of a 'I wonder if Eastenders is on?' way.
* ...wondering vaguely how many elves had now been set free whether they wanted to be or not.
More emphasis on what the elves want. First Ron wonders about how they feel (Ron, people! Love that Harry doesn't get involved. Presumably he has Much More Important Things to Think About, and of course the readers would feel compelled to take his side of the argument over the others.), then they're described as 'unwary' implying they have reason to be suspicious of Hermione, now this.
* He could not see how they would know what he was talking about - or who he was talking to - just from reading this letter.
For real? *laughs hysterically*
* 'Peeves is planning an amusing joke on the next person to pass the bust of Paracelsus halfway down the corridor.'
'Does it involve Paracelsus falling on top of the person's head?' asked Harry.
'Funnily enough, it does,' said Nearly Headless Nick in a bored voice. 'Subtlety has never been Peeves's strong point. I'm off to try and find the Bloody Baron...he might be able to put a stop to it...see you, Harry.'
Hee!
Poor old Baron, sounds as if the other ghosts look to him as a Crabbe/Goyle style 'enforcer'.
Dead people continue to behave better than alive ones, with the ghosts demonstrating inter-house unity. Mind you, they've had 500 years to practice...
Also, Nick's kind of cowardly for a bravely brave Gryffindor.
* He looked down and saw the caretaker's skeletal grey cat, Mrs Norris, slinking past him.
Filch is wheezing, the cat’s skinny. *pities*
More on Squibs apparently being able to communicate with animals - Mrs. Figg says her cats tell her things, Mrs. Norris reports to Filch.
* I only remembered five minutes ago, it's my mum's birthday.'
Cho's pureblood, yeah?
Another example of Nice People Who Aren't Close to their Parents.
* 'That Umbridge woman's foul,' she said in a low voice. 'Putting you in detention just because you told the truth about how - how - how he died. Everyone heard about it, it was all over the school. You were really brave standing up to her like that.'
Wow. Cho really is a smart Ravenclaw. Don’t think she could have picked something Harry would like to hear more.
* For a moment, he considered accidentally-on-purpose showing her his cut hand -
Hee. Nice direct H/D parallel there, with POA's
He swaggered into the dungeon, his right arm covered in bandages and bound up in a sling, acting, in Harry's opinion, as though he was the heroic survivor of some dreadful battle.
"How is it, Draco?" simpered Pansy Parkinson. "Does it hurt much?"
"Yeah," said Malfoy, putting on a brave sort of grimace.
It's obnoxious and disgusting and somehow different when it's Draco, though. He was acting as if he'd survive some hardship even though it was actually caused by his own behaviour, which is so different from Harry I can't even begin to think of a reason why ;)
More of the cultural bias magpie's been discussing recently - everyone wants to be thought of as brave: Harry, Ron (wasn't there a similiar moment with him bragging about the Triwizard Tournament? And of course in the film of POA, there's the juxtaposition of Malfoy's chatup line on Pansy and Ron using the same with Hermione.) and even a 'cowardly, scummy' Slytherin.
* 'I have my sources,' said Filch in a self-satisfied hiss.
Can't remember - didn't they turn out to be Umbridge?
I remember Harry suspects Malfoy next chapter, but I don't think this plot was ever resolved.
* 'Gone,' said Harry calmly.
Calm!Harry creeps me out.
There seems to be no middleground between OMGIMTEHANGRYVICTIM!11 and Haha I'm Above The Superficialities of You Earth Folk.
* 'I saw him send it,' said Cho angrily.
Ooh, Cho lies and gets angry - she's kewly!11
How do Harry!het shippers ever choose between her, Cunning!Aggressive!Hermione, Luna who stands up to people and wants to curse her enemies, or Ginny who has a mean hex and is Sassy?
* Of course, she had preferred Cedric, he knew that...though if he'd only asked her to the Ball before Cedric had, things might have turned out differently...
Oh, classy. Not enough you're trying to score with someone who's boyfriend just died but you're hoping she never really liked him at all, because it's not flattering to your ego?
* 'No,' she sighed, 'just some guff about the bass player in the Weird Sisters getting married.'
Only superficial girls care about celebrity gossip. Like Aunt Petunia, Pansy Parkinson and of course, Lavender and Parvati-types. Hermione's Serious and Constantly Thinks of Important Groundbreaking Issues. Like, lighten up and read the dish page for once, love, you might even smile!
Also, people who follow news about famous people are liek totally inconsiderate of the widdle superstars feelings.
*cough* Issues much, Jo?
* 'Lucius Malfoy I'll bet anything,' said Harry in a low, furious voice. 'He did recognise Sirius on the platform ...'
Hee. Then it must all be Malfoy’s fault! Poor Sirius, his secrets revealed, his life endangered and yet he's Unjustly Accused and had no control over his actions whatsoever!
Damn that Lucius Malfoy. Cause you know that the Order would never sink as low as noticing a fuck-up by the other side and taking advantage of it by alerting the authorities and media. Except they do. Repeatedly.
* "Ministry warns wizarding community that Black is very dangerous...killed thirteen people...broke out of Azkaban..." the usual rubbish,'
God damn those stupid reporters and politicians who aren't privy to the exact intricacies of Sirius' life!111
They just repeat any old rubbish and don't know any better than to be Punk and Question Authority.
It's not as if Hermione herself didn't believe the same stories that the rest of the world are being told now, for over a year.
* Podmore, who refused to speak in his own defence, was convicted on both charges and sentenced to six months in Azkaban.
What, no last-minute rescue from Expert!Lawyer!Dumbledore?
He doesn't take very good care of his own, does he?
* 'He's that bloke who looks like his head's been thatched, isn't he?
That's a really horrible description.
* 'D'you think she meant it when she said we weren't copying from her?'
'Yeah, I do,' said Harry. 'Still, this is important, too...'
Considering Harry and Ron both want to become Aurors rather than professional Quidditch players, I'd be questioning the Massive Importance of playing a game.
Notice Harry isn't so worried about not being able to copy from Hermione. Cause he's Much Smarter than Ron, in addition to being superior to him in every other way; and despite showing no more discipline or effort.
* 'Ready to show us all up, Ickle Prefect?' said Fred, emerging tousle-haired from the neck of his Quidditch robes, a slightly malicious grin on his face.
Another interesting choice of words: 'malicious'.
* ...the Slytherin Quidditch team and assorted hangers-on.
As Magpie put it:
"Assorted hangers-on, who we can add to the list of things Slytherins have instead of friends: Cronies, bodyguards, goons, thugs, minions and hangers-on."
And the 'court' which Malfoy obviously rules over. Probably with an iron fist.
Poor hangers, I bet all they want is to have equal friendships with nice kids like the Trio.
Either that or they're all evil Machiavellians who are hanging on for the immense power and prestige a high-school athletics team possesses.
They can't even roar without his express consent and demonstration, so either they're all as stupid as Crabbe and Goyle or he's just really bossy and Oppressing their Secret Desires for Gryffindor Friendships.
Although, I'm surprised they follow the smallest member of their team. Good for Draco and his leadership skillz!
* 'Hey, Johnson, what's with that hairstyle, anyway?' shrieked Pansy Parkinson from below. 'Why would anyone want to look like they've got worms coming out of their head?'
Heh. This reminds me of a looong conversation I had about this precise comment.
(IMHO, JKR probably meant it to be racist since it was Pansy Teh Slytherin and all that, but I think if I were Angelina, I wouldn't take it that way.
And of course, look at silly superficial Pansy, all she cares about are appearances!)
* 'What's that Weasley's riding?' Malfoy called in his sneering drawl. 'Why would anyone put a flying charm on a mouldy old log like that?'
Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson guffawed and shrieked with laughter.
...The Slytherins, led by Malfoy, roared and screamed with laughter.
...Malfoy and the rest of the Slytherin team were howling with laughter.
You know, somehow I get the impression they're amused.
Very noisy they sound, too, unlike the Gryffindors who's demure 'GO GO GRYFFINDOR CHANT' is likely no louder than the ruffle of their petticoats.
Also JKR needs a thesaurus when writing Pansy, cause I don't think she's ever uttered a word in a voice that wasn't 'shrieking'.
* 'Hey, Potter, how's your scar feeling?' called Malfoy. 'Sure you don't need a lie down? It must be, what, a whole week since you were in the hospital wing, that's a record for you, isn't it?'
Aw. Draco loves Harry, and is concerned for his wellbeing.
And possibly wants to lie down with him.
And count the days he's away in the hospital.
(You see, I always pledge to keep these chapters as canonical and analytical as possible, and I always manage to fail somehow!)
Seriously, though, this bit reminds me of the 'You fainted, blah blah?' POA scene.
* ...the distant yells of the Slytherins so much meaningless roaring in his ears...
Yes, Harry is much more mature than silly Ron who's disturbed by petty taunts (love his sassy remarks later when they tease him. Harry's so cool!)
And he plays better too, even though it's a position he's had no experience with (he catches the Quaffle repeatedly and on the spur of the moment, whereas Ron misses even after practice.)
And he has 'enormous speed and skill'!
And he's better than anyone else in the entire school and is unbothered even at the prospect of playing their strongest rivals!
And he's the youngest seeker in a century!
* 'And Katie, can't you do something about that nosebleed?'
Um? Like what?
It's odd someone would even take a remedy for a nosebleed, which usually don't last long and are best left alone.
I kind of imagine the Gryffindors panicking at illnesses, since they're so macho they'd be frightened at the idea of physical weakness; but that would contrast with their incredible daring and bravery, so... Shame, because them panicking might actually be endearing, rather than the OMG WEAKNESS!11 JKR appears to view any admittance of pain as.
* ...the Slytherins, who had now set up a chant of 'Gryffindor are losers, Gryffindor are losers'...
That's not very witty. Mind you, neither's the aforementioned 'GO GO GRYFFINDOR' or the hisses the Slytherins recieve (which is totally different.)
Oh well, give them time to work on their rhyme schemes.
* It was plain that Angelina had stopped training just in time; Katie was now chalk white and covered in blood.
Lots more violent imagery to describe the effects of the Twins stunts: we have their tricks in previous books, plus the first years faintings and later Montague. Eek!
Helpfully no-one seems to question or reprimand the twins for this particular incident, not even the domineering Angelina.
And not just at the time of the emergency - I don't recall it being mentioned again by anyone.
Because the twins Don't Mean any Serious Harm, they're Just Having Fun.
* 'Completely lousy,' said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione.
She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. 'Well, it was only your first one,' she said consolingly, 'it's bound to take time to -'
'Who said it was me who made it lousy?' snapped Ron.
'No one,' said Hermione, looking taken aback, 'I thought -'
'You thought I was bound to be rubbish?'
Well you were and you did, so suck it up and stop making it everyone else's fault.
I did have sympathy for Ron and his embarrassment - who hasn't suffered the humiliation of being uncoordinated? (Apart from Everyone Else in these books. Still.)
But I guess I'm a little mystified why he wants to be a member of a team which plays a sport he's not good at.
I assume I'm supposed to see that He Really Is Secretly Talented and just Unconfident; but to me I'm getting the idea that he's desperately imitating his brothers (not just on the team but with the whole 'That's everyone in the family' prefect issue, and what he saw in the magic mirror.) and Harry rather than risk trying something new.
Which is never going to win him much self-esteem, or it wouldn't if these books were in any way realistic.
Even if he does improve and become good, so what? He's never going to be as talented as Harry at the game, and he'll always be in his shadow.
* Hermione turned to Harry. 'Was he lousy?'
'No,' said Harry loyally.
Being a loyal friend means denying your friends problems, flaws or mistakes. Hagrid's a great teacher, Ron's a really good Quidditch player, Arthur's an excellent provider, and of course you don't want people to worship you, Harry!
Why didn't Hermione go and watch practice, anyway, if she's so interested?
There's an odd separation in the Trio, which is why it mystifies me when people appear to glorify it as the example of all that friendship can be.
Harry prefers Ron to Hermione, Ron prefers Harry to Hermione, Hermione prefers Harry to Ron.
The boys rarely show any interest in Hermione's interests while she appears to adopt theirs, as well as their views, to an extent; but is fairly self-sufficient and insular. The boys show no problem with cutting her out should she mess up whereas she doesn't appear to be able to sustain any anger or even question them for longer than a chapter.
* ...he himself was having difficulty in getting the 'Gryffindor are losers' chant out of his head.
I thought all that pettiness was 'meaningless' to Manly!Harry?
Another puncture in the 'Harry is liek too mature to notice Draco's childish antics' balloon which has sprung up in the last year.
* 'Jupiter's biggest moon is Ganymede, not Callisto,' she said, pointing over Ron's shoulder at a line in his Astronomy essay, 'and it's Io that's got the volcanoes.'
'Thanks,' snarled Ron, scratching out the offending sentences.
'Sorry, I only -'
'Yeah, well, if you've just come over here to criticise -'
If I were Ron I'd be grateful that Hermione caved (although it was obvious she would, as she always does.)
* I must admit that I have always been afraid that you would take what we might call the 'Fred and George' route, rather than following in my footsteps, so you can imagine my feelings on hearing you have stopped flouting authority and have decided to shoulder some real responsibility.
But I want to give you more than congratulations, Ron, I want to give you some advice, which is why I am sending this at night rather than by the usual morning post. Hopefully, you will be able to read this away from prying eyes and avoid awkward questions.
I <3 Percy. I know the letter's pompous and stuffy, but I think it shows real concern from Percy for his brother (he's pleased enough for him that he's contacting family, he worries over him and his choices) and he makes several inarguably valid points.
For instance, Ron does appear torn between the two types in his family: cool joker and authoritarian leader.
Bill and Charlie appear to have managed both, but then where the twins have perhaps rebelled by rejecting authority, Bill and Charlie have by leaving the country altogether, and taking on jobs that are physically dangerous (cause they're so Brave, also.)
Percy's also picked up that Harry will be present when Ron reads the letter, and that this is something to avoid because Ron's opinion of Harry is higher than of likely anyone else, and it would be 'awkward' (as Harry recognises shortly.)
* I must tell you, Ron, that nothing could put you in danger of losing your badge more than continued fraternisation with that boy.
Actually, I'd go as far as saying nothing puts Ron in more danger of losing his life more than his friendship with Harry and that if he does die, it will likely be for Harry.
Will Ron die?
Mind you, Percy seems unaware of how malicious Ron (and Ginny - wasn't she Percy's favourite in CoS? And yet she's most definitely followed 'the Fred and George' route.) can be. Although Ron's worst displays of temper are usually when Harry is present, and they even work together at times (the train hexings at the end of GoF, for example.)
* ...no doubt you will say that Potter has always been Dumbledore's favourite...
OMG! Percy’s The Evil! Only the Malfoys say things like that. The politest thing to do is pretend that Dumbledore is completely fair and unbiased while at the same time reassuring Harry that of course Dumbledore likes him best of all.
* I feel bound to tell you that Dumbledore may not be in charge at Hogwarts much longer and the people who count have a very different - and probably more accurate - view of Potter's behaviour. I shall say no more here, but if you look at the Daily Prophet tomorrow you will get a good idea of the way the wind is blowing - and see if you can spot yours truly!
OMG! Teh snobbery!11: 'the people who count'. (Of course the Trio and Order considering Dumbledore to be rightful King of the World and everyone else so much cannon fodder isn't the same.) And teh ambition and following!11: 'the way the wind is blowing'.
Actually, Percy's making a bit of a sacrifice here in feeling 'bound' to warn Ron, even telling him classified information such as what's going to be in the papers, which only government officials such as him are aware of.
Because that doesn't fit in with his code of ethics at all. (Although Percy always seems to be struggling with the same cultural bias as the rest, wherein he doesn't really fit the Gryffindor pattern yet feels he should, so he does things like take points from family and friends which is looked down upon although fair; and yet almost apologises for it (I remember in CoS something along the lines of Harry and Malfoy acting up, in which he immediately warns Malfoy and then says 'I'll have to take points for this, Harry!')
* Potter had a disciplinary hearing this summer in front of the whole Wizengamot and he did not come out of it looking too good. He got off on a mere technicality, if you ask me, and many of the people I've spoken to remain convinced of his guilt.
It may be that you are afraid to sever ties with Potter - I know that he can be unbalanced and, for all I know, violent - but if you have any worries about this, or have spotted anything else in Potter's behaviour that is troubling you...
Again, none of this is particularly charitable towards Harry, but none of it is untrue, as far as I can tell. Harry has a history of violence and unstable behaviour (in fact the worst of it occurs after the letter, so either he's living down to people's expectations or Percy's a perceptive predicter.); and he 'got off' despite having committed the crime he was charged with.
Also, in the one fight Harry and Ron had, it was Harry who attacked physically, if memory serves me correctly. Not much of an assault - throwing a badge at someone's head - but it doesn't exactly help his case.
* As I have hinted above, Dumbledore's regime at Hogwarts may soon be over.
Regime? Heh. ((((Percy))))
* I shall say only this - a student who shows himself willing to help Professor Umbridge now may be very well-placed for Head Boyship in a couple of years!
Cross your fingers for Draco Malfoy, then.
* I am sorry that I was unable to see more of you over the summer. It pains me to criticise our parents, but I am afraid I can no longer live under their roof while they remain mixed up with the dangerous crowd around Dumbledore. (If you are writing to Mother at any point, you might tell her that a certain Sturgis Podmore, who is a great friend of Dumbledore's, has recently been sent to Azkaban for trespass at the Ministry. Perhaps that will open their eyes to the kind of petty criminals with whom they are currently rubbing shoulders.)
Percy also uses formal language such as 'Mother' - more signs of Teh Badness. Someone mentioned once that it appears he has slightly Oedipal issues about Molly, who appeared to consider him the favourite until now. Interesting he singles her out as the parent he wishes information to be passed on to.
Odd approach we have to law here - Percy, Malfoy and Umbridge as our baddies representing bureaucracy, toeing the line, misinterpreting the spirit of rules by adhering to the very letter; and on our heroes side we have 'Who needs the rules? Follow your heart!' Admirable sentiments, except there appears to be almost no understanding on this side either, of the different degrees of justice.
To Umbridge, there's no difference between breaking a minor regulation and a major one: it's all the same. Of course, breaking rules is alright by her as long as she is the one doing the breaking, because she is the authority.
And yet, that's not so different from the Trio or the DA or the Order's approach: that all laws are unimportant, petty and bureaucratic (their reaction to the theory based lessons featuring *da da dum* magical law); that laws are only useful if they personally benefit one (like Umbridge they're not above using rules for their own purposes - McGonagall and Dumbledore's rewards of traditional school trophies by wielding their own personal authority and subverting the spirit of the competitions; Dumbledore's knowledge of judiciary process and willingness to work with criminals since it benefits his cause); that there's no difference between skipping homework and attacking fellow human beings (I love the post-Quidditch scene when the Gryffindors are discussing the Twins and Harry's punishments and being completely confused as to why Crabbe didn't recieve an identical punishment for a different offence.) that intent is more important than behaviour (or similiarly, that feelings are more important than intellect.) and the idea that intent is as easily determined as you are Good, hence you will always be Good and any behaviour that doesn't fit your determined ideals (how many times in these books is a negatively portrayed character 'punished' for a trait or behaviour we're expected to cheer on in a 'goodie'?) isn't being Bad, it's a Good Kid making a mistake.
* I do hope, Ron, that you will not allow family ties to blind you to the misguided nature of our parents' beliefs and actions, either. I sincerely hope that, in time, they will realise how mistaken they were and I shall, of course, be ready to accept a full apology when that day comes.
Ha! Percy wants exactly what the Order and Harry wants: grovelling apologies on hands and knees.
Somehow I see him giving rather than recieving them, considering how these books are going so far; but I'd like to see fault admitted on both sides of the divide.
And of course, Ron is allowing 'family ties to blind' him, since he's never given any indication whatsoever of questioning or even considering a view by himself, instead constantly parroting either Harry or Arthur. If he appear to have thought them over and agreed with his best friend/father, that's one thing; but he doesn't seem to be an independent thinker at all.
* 'What you can say is, "We promise we'll never leave our homework this late again,"' she said, holding out both hands for their essays, but she looked slightly amused all the same.
I think she quite likes them relying on her. Makes her feel important, clever, and leads to Ron flattering her shamelessly.
* He had known Percy for four years, had stayed in his house during the summer holidays, shared a tent with him during the Quidditch World Cup, had even been awarded full marks by him in the second task of the Triwizard Tournament last year, yet now, Percy thought him unbalanced and possibly violent.
OMG why would someone think I'm violent? Just cause I'm occasionally physically aggressive and have been known to attack people!
And more of of the 'Why isn't Percy loyal to meee even though I always disliked him and laughed at him?'
I don't see Harry defending Percy to his family over his argument with Arthur on the grounds that they shared a tent once and had known each other so very long, so why on earth should that lead to Percy having faith in Harry? Clearly because people owe more to Harry than he owes to them, since he is Most Important.
* 'Harry, yours is OK except for this bit at the end, I think you must have misheard Professor Sinistra, Europa's covered in ice, not mice - ’
Wow. Ron and Harry seem to lack even the most basic reading comprehension skills. I mean, seriously, we can’t all be Hermione’s and god knows I was never particularly skilled academically, but jesus.
Actually, although Ron made more mistakes, I'd be a little more worried about Harry's intellect here - confusing planets is understandable. Not seeing why a planet is likely covered with 'ice' over 'mice'? Jeepers.
Notice that Harry's work is much better than Ron's, though?
Harry's extremely clever, and if he applied himself could probably outdo Hermione, especially since he's much more imaginative and uses his instincts and heart. He doesn't need to study to pass exams because he's naturally gifted, and if he fails it's someone else's fault.
* 'But, Sirius, this is taking an awful risk -' Hermione began.
'You sound like Molly,' said Sirius.
Ooh, burn. Silly women, always worrying about petty shite like security and risks. Why can't they allow their men to be heroes and just stay at home quietly knitting?
They get all uppity and sooner or later they want to be Headteacher and DADA teacher; and of course, fuck that up.
* At the mention of Harry's letter, Hermione and Ron both turned to stare at him. 'You didn't say you'd written to Sirius!' said Hermione accusingly.
‘I forgot,' said Harry.
“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies,” says Fred to Hermione in response to her questioning regarding their sudden wealth, and both Tonks and Hermione engage in lines of questioning that Harry either evades or stops completely.
When the female questioners are stopped by men, they are stopped without protest; they have neither the right to reply nor the capacity or willingness to question the secrets of men.
This is contrasted against Harry and Ron’s reaction to Hermione when she makes a sudden realisation and leaves without telling them: Ron indignantly asks “if it would kill her to tell us what she’s up to for once?”
This is the same Hermione who has spent the entirety of the book explaining things to Harry and Ron, who both conceal secrets from her and do so unchallenged.
When Harry forgets to inform his friends that he wrote to Sirius, neither criticise him. Men are allowed their ignorance as knowledge is their power.
Harry frequently disregards her advice, and when it runs contrary to both his and Ron’s interests, they shut her out completely - something that Hermione never does, either because she is reluctant or because she cannot.
* 'No, it was very good,' said Sirius, smiling.
Considering Sirius' idea of espionage was 'I'll disguise myself as a dog! No-one could ever guess my secret identity, and if they do? Eh.', I wouldn't be too flattered.
* 'Yeah, and Dumbledore said it happened whenever Voldemort was feeling a powerful emotion,' said Harry, ignoring, as usual, Ron and Hermione's winces.
Huh? Why does Hermione wince? She's Muggleborn. And look how kewl Harry is, he doesn't care how much it bothers people! They'll just have to learn to be more like him (and Dumbledore, of course) and ignore it.
* 'She's foul enough to be one,' said Harry darkly, and Ron and Hermione nodded vigorously in agreement.
What exact traits does Umbridge possess that qualify her as evil?
Cause if it's sadism or wanting knowledge restricted, look no further than Miss Granger. If it's being a rubbish teacher, may I present one Rubeus Hagrid, with a side order of Mad Eye Moody in the cruel punishments division? And of course, her lack of patience and aggression towards those who dare question her is a lovely parallel with Harry.
* 'Yes, but the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters,' said Sirius with a wry smile.
Ironic, from Sirius 'I knooooow Snape is still evil because I never liked him and now he gets to go out while I stay in with my languishing beauty, former riches and memories of my popular friends' Black.
Bit like the 'You can tell a man by how he treats his servants' quote.
* 'I know she's a nasty piece of work, though - you should hear Remus talk about her.'
'Does Lupin know her?' asked Harry quickly, remembering Umbridge's comments about dangerous half-breeds during her first lesson.
'No,' said Sirius, 'but she drafted a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job.'
Harry remembered how much shabbier Lupin looked these days and his dislike of Umbridge deepened even further.
'What's she got against werewolves?" said Hermione angrily.
Notice Harry refers to Remus only as ‘Lupin’ or even ‘Professor Lupin’. Not Second!God!Daddy and Role!Model. Yet. *dreads HBP*
Wow, Umbridge is a real power-crazed bitch. If she really wanted to do some good she’d just break the laws of her own department and conduct raids on the homes of people she doesn't like.
And what's with the OMG how can someone dislike werewolves bit?
Did Hermione have some parallel universe raising before Hogwarts in which she believed werewolves were cuddlesome fluffballs rather than the vicious fictional monsters most people think of them as?
Or is it just a sign of how openminded she is - despite being brought up with them as horror story filler, she calmly and rationally assesses the one she knows and then applies him as the standard for all of them?
I think an excellent reason to fear and dislike werewolves is that once a month they want to kill people. Is that wrong? Jeepers, there's some clash of PC versus non PC attitudes in these books. (Umbridge and the Ministry's attempt to improve teaching standards being greeted with horror because of traditionalist staff and students wanting things to be kept the same; the whole Buckbeak thing which could have come out of the Daily Mail, the Gryffindor macho 'might is right' 'emotions are silly' 'books and cleverness mean nothing next to physical bravery' 'contempt for the weak' mindset versus being PC is encouraged when it's a 'good' character being harmed (how can anybody possibly judge Hermione and Lupin by their bloodlines?!)
* 'Trained in combat!' repeated Harry incredulously. 'What does he think we're doing here, forming some sort of wizard army?'
‘That's exactly what he thinks you're doing,' said Sirius, 'or, rather, that's exactly what he's afraid Dumbledore's doing - forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry of Magic.'
There was a pause at this, then Ron said, ‘That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard, including all the stuff that Luna Lovegood comes out with.’
Oh, I agree! What an entirely lame idea for a plot... Yeah.
And of course, crazy stupid paranoid old Fudge who’s suspicions are exactly on the mark in this case.
* 'So we're being prevented from learning Defence Against the Dark Arts because Fudge is scared we'll use spells against the Ministry?' said Hermione, looking furious.
'Yep,' said Sirius. 'Fudge thinks Dumbledore will stop at nothing to seize power.’
How dare Fudge not want teenagers hexing the government? OPPRESSION, OPPRESSION! Everyone knows if he was as cool as Dumbledore he’d let them be taught Dark Arts (with a nice name so they could still feel superior to those nasty Russians) and then they could make their own decisions about whether or not they were going to hex/beat/use Unforgiveables on others. And if they all chose to? Ah well, it would serve Fudge et al right for being so like totally mean and stuff!11
And Dumbledore has no interest in power! Sure, he’s constantly exerting his own and until recently was in charge of half the WW’s influencial law-drafting committees, but still! He’s not ambitious or anything yucky like that!
* 'You're less like your father than I thought,' he said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. The risk would've been what made it fun for James.'
I love that it's great for everyone to compare Harry and James when we thought he was a perfect saint, but now that we find out he wasn't; it turns out that Harry is nothing like him whatsoever! He's much more like the real hero, Lily. And if Lily gets revealed to be human, I guess we'll discover that in actual fact, Harry is more like Godric Gryffindor or Dumbledore.
And, maybe James loving risk and danger so much contributed to him being dead in his early twenties, Genius?
Plus Harry takes insane risks all the time. It's just Sirius is never there to see them, yet somehow thinks he's a 'responsible godfather'.
Still finishing that damn previous half-chapter.
* The first week of term seemed to have dragged on for ever, like one gigantic History of Magic lesson.
Ha! It also dragged to read, JKR, if you're wondering, and not in an ultra-realistic, dark, gritty way. More of a 'I wonder if Eastenders is on?' way.
* ...wondering vaguely how many elves had now been set free whether they wanted to be or not.
More emphasis on what the elves want. First Ron wonders about how they feel (Ron, people! Love that Harry doesn't get involved. Presumably he has Much More Important Things to Think About, and of course the readers would feel compelled to take his side of the argument over the others.), then they're described as 'unwary' implying they have reason to be suspicious of Hermione, now this.
* He could not see how they would know what he was talking about - or who he was talking to - just from reading this letter.
For real? *laughs hysterically*
* 'Peeves is planning an amusing joke on the next person to pass the bust of Paracelsus halfway down the corridor.'
'Does it involve Paracelsus falling on top of the person's head?' asked Harry.
'Funnily enough, it does,' said Nearly Headless Nick in a bored voice. 'Subtlety has never been Peeves's strong point. I'm off to try and find the Bloody Baron...he might be able to put a stop to it...see you, Harry.'
Hee!
Poor old Baron, sounds as if the other ghosts look to him as a Crabbe/Goyle style 'enforcer'.
Dead people continue to behave better than alive ones, with the ghosts demonstrating inter-house unity. Mind you, they've had 500 years to practice...
Also, Nick's kind of cowardly for a bravely brave Gryffindor.
* He looked down and saw the caretaker's skeletal grey cat, Mrs Norris, slinking past him.
Filch is wheezing, the cat’s skinny. *pities*
More on Squibs apparently being able to communicate with animals - Mrs. Figg says her cats tell her things, Mrs. Norris reports to Filch.
* I only remembered five minutes ago, it's my mum's birthday.'
Cho's pureblood, yeah?
Another example of Nice People Who Aren't Close to their Parents.
* 'That Umbridge woman's foul,' she said in a low voice. 'Putting you in detention just because you told the truth about how - how - how he died. Everyone heard about it, it was all over the school. You were really brave standing up to her like that.'
Wow. Cho really is a smart Ravenclaw. Don’t think she could have picked something Harry would like to hear more.
* For a moment, he considered accidentally-on-purpose showing her his cut hand -
Hee. Nice direct H/D parallel there, with POA's
He swaggered into the dungeon, his right arm covered in bandages and bound up in a sling, acting, in Harry's opinion, as though he was the heroic survivor of some dreadful battle.
"How is it, Draco?" simpered Pansy Parkinson. "Does it hurt much?"
"Yeah," said Malfoy, putting on a brave sort of grimace.
It's obnoxious and disgusting and somehow different when it's Draco, though. He was acting as if he'd survive some hardship even though it was actually caused by his own behaviour, which is so different from Harry I can't even begin to think of a reason why ;)
More of the cultural bias magpie's been discussing recently - everyone wants to be thought of as brave: Harry, Ron (wasn't there a similiar moment with him bragging about the Triwizard Tournament? And of course in the film of POA, there's the juxtaposition of Malfoy's chatup line on Pansy and Ron using the same with Hermione.) and even a 'cowardly, scummy' Slytherin.
* 'I have my sources,' said Filch in a self-satisfied hiss.
Can't remember - didn't they turn out to be Umbridge?
I remember Harry suspects Malfoy next chapter, but I don't think this plot was ever resolved.
* 'Gone,' said Harry calmly.
Calm!Harry creeps me out.
There seems to be no middleground between OMGIMTEHANGRYVICTIM!11 and Haha I'm Above The Superficialities of You Earth Folk.
* 'I saw him send it,' said Cho angrily.
Ooh, Cho lies and gets angry - she's kewly!11
How do Harry!het shippers ever choose between her, Cunning!Aggressive!Hermione, Luna who stands up to people and wants to curse her enemies, or Ginny who has a mean hex and is Sassy?
* Of course, she had preferred Cedric, he knew that...though if he'd only asked her to the Ball before Cedric had, things might have turned out differently...
Oh, classy. Not enough you're trying to score with someone who's boyfriend just died but you're hoping she never really liked him at all, because it's not flattering to your ego?
* 'No,' she sighed, 'just some guff about the bass player in the Weird Sisters getting married.'
Only superficial girls care about celebrity gossip. Like Aunt Petunia, Pansy Parkinson and of course, Lavender and Parvati-types. Hermione's Serious and Constantly Thinks of Important Groundbreaking Issues. Like, lighten up and read the dish page for once, love, you might even smile!
Also, people who follow news about famous people are liek totally inconsiderate of the widdle superstars feelings.
*cough* Issues much, Jo?
* 'Lucius Malfoy I'll bet anything,' said Harry in a low, furious voice. 'He did recognise Sirius on the platform ...'
Hee. Then it must all be Malfoy’s fault! Poor Sirius, his secrets revealed, his life endangered and yet he's Unjustly Accused and had no control over his actions whatsoever!
Damn that Lucius Malfoy. Cause you know that the Order would never sink as low as noticing a fuck-up by the other side and taking advantage of it by alerting the authorities and media. Except they do. Repeatedly.
* "Ministry warns wizarding community that Black is very dangerous...killed thirteen people...broke out of Azkaban..." the usual rubbish,'
God damn those stupid reporters and politicians who aren't privy to the exact intricacies of Sirius' life!111
They just repeat any old rubbish and don't know any better than to be Punk and Question Authority.
It's not as if Hermione herself didn't believe the same stories that the rest of the world are being told now, for over a year.
* Podmore, who refused to speak in his own defence, was convicted on both charges and sentenced to six months in Azkaban.
What, no last-minute rescue from Expert!Lawyer!Dumbledore?
He doesn't take very good care of his own, does he?
* 'He's that bloke who looks like his head's been thatched, isn't he?
That's a really horrible description.
* 'D'you think she meant it when she said we weren't copying from her?'
'Yeah, I do,' said Harry. 'Still, this is important, too...'
Considering Harry and Ron both want to become Aurors rather than professional Quidditch players, I'd be questioning the Massive Importance of playing a game.
Notice Harry isn't so worried about not being able to copy from Hermione. Cause he's Much Smarter than Ron, in addition to being superior to him in every other way; and despite showing no more discipline or effort.
* 'Ready to show us all up, Ickle Prefect?' said Fred, emerging tousle-haired from the neck of his Quidditch robes, a slightly malicious grin on his face.
Another interesting choice of words: 'malicious'.
* ...the Slytherin Quidditch team and assorted hangers-on.
As Magpie put it:
"Assorted hangers-on, who we can add to the list of things Slytherins have instead of friends: Cronies, bodyguards, goons, thugs, minions and hangers-on."
And the 'court' which Malfoy obviously rules over. Probably with an iron fist.
Poor hangers, I bet all they want is to have equal friendships with nice kids like the Trio.
Either that or they're all evil Machiavellians who are hanging on for the immense power and prestige a high-school athletics team possesses.
They can't even roar without his express consent and demonstration, so either they're all as stupid as Crabbe and Goyle or he's just really bossy and Oppressing their Secret Desires for Gryffindor Friendships.
Although, I'm surprised they follow the smallest member of their team. Good for Draco and his leadership skillz!
* 'Hey, Johnson, what's with that hairstyle, anyway?' shrieked Pansy Parkinson from below. 'Why would anyone want to look like they've got worms coming out of their head?'
Heh. This reminds me of a looong conversation I had about this precise comment.
(IMHO, JKR probably meant it to be racist since it was Pansy Teh Slytherin and all that, but I think if I were Angelina, I wouldn't take it that way.
And of course, look at silly superficial Pansy, all she cares about are appearances!)
* 'What's that Weasley's riding?' Malfoy called in his sneering drawl. 'Why would anyone put a flying charm on a mouldy old log like that?'
Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson guffawed and shrieked with laughter.
...The Slytherins, led by Malfoy, roared and screamed with laughter.
...Malfoy and the rest of the Slytherin team were howling with laughter.
You know, somehow I get the impression they're amused.
Very noisy they sound, too, unlike the Gryffindors who's demure 'GO GO GRYFFINDOR CHANT' is likely no louder than the ruffle of their petticoats.
Also JKR needs a thesaurus when writing Pansy, cause I don't think she's ever uttered a word in a voice that wasn't 'shrieking'.
* 'Hey, Potter, how's your scar feeling?' called Malfoy. 'Sure you don't need a lie down? It must be, what, a whole week since you were in the hospital wing, that's a record for you, isn't it?'
Aw. Draco loves Harry, and is concerned for his wellbeing.
And possibly wants to lie down with him.
And count the days he's away in the hospital.
(You see, I always pledge to keep these chapters as canonical and analytical as possible, and I always manage to fail somehow!)
Seriously, though, this bit reminds me of the 'You fainted, blah blah?' POA scene.
* ...the distant yells of the Slytherins so much meaningless roaring in his ears...
Yes, Harry is much more mature than silly Ron who's disturbed by petty taunts (love his sassy remarks later when they tease him. Harry's so cool!)
And he plays better too, even though it's a position he's had no experience with (he catches the Quaffle repeatedly and on the spur of the moment, whereas Ron misses even after practice.)
And he has 'enormous speed and skill'!
And he's better than anyone else in the entire school and is unbothered even at the prospect of playing their strongest rivals!
And he's the youngest seeker in a century!
* 'And Katie, can't you do something about that nosebleed?'
Um? Like what?
It's odd someone would even take a remedy for a nosebleed, which usually don't last long and are best left alone.
I kind of imagine the Gryffindors panicking at illnesses, since they're so macho they'd be frightened at the idea of physical weakness; but that would contrast with their incredible daring and bravery, so... Shame, because them panicking might actually be endearing, rather than the OMG WEAKNESS!11 JKR appears to view any admittance of pain as.
* ...the Slytherins, who had now set up a chant of 'Gryffindor are losers, Gryffindor are losers'...
That's not very witty. Mind you, neither's the aforementioned 'GO GO GRYFFINDOR' or the hisses the Slytherins recieve (which is totally different.)
Oh well, give them time to work on their rhyme schemes.
* It was plain that Angelina had stopped training just in time; Katie was now chalk white and covered in blood.
Lots more violent imagery to describe the effects of the Twins stunts: we have their tricks in previous books, plus the first years faintings and later Montague. Eek!
Helpfully no-one seems to question or reprimand the twins for this particular incident, not even the domineering Angelina.
And not just at the time of the emergency - I don't recall it being mentioned again by anyone.
Because the twins Don't Mean any Serious Harm, they're Just Having Fun.
* 'Completely lousy,' said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione.
She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. 'Well, it was only your first one,' she said consolingly, 'it's bound to take time to -'
'Who said it was me who made it lousy?' snapped Ron.
'No one,' said Hermione, looking taken aback, 'I thought -'
'You thought I was bound to be rubbish?'
Well you were and you did, so suck it up and stop making it everyone else's fault.
I did have sympathy for Ron and his embarrassment - who hasn't suffered the humiliation of being uncoordinated? (Apart from Everyone Else in these books. Still.)
But I guess I'm a little mystified why he wants to be a member of a team which plays a sport he's not good at.
I assume I'm supposed to see that He Really Is Secretly Talented and just Unconfident; but to me I'm getting the idea that he's desperately imitating his brothers (not just on the team but with the whole 'That's everyone in the family' prefect issue, and what he saw in the magic mirror.) and Harry rather than risk trying something new.
Which is never going to win him much self-esteem, or it wouldn't if these books were in any way realistic.
Even if he does improve and become good, so what? He's never going to be as talented as Harry at the game, and he'll always be in his shadow.
* Hermione turned to Harry. 'Was he lousy?'
'No,' said Harry loyally.
Being a loyal friend means denying your friends problems, flaws or mistakes. Hagrid's a great teacher, Ron's a really good Quidditch player, Arthur's an excellent provider, and of course you don't want people to worship you, Harry!
Why didn't Hermione go and watch practice, anyway, if she's so interested?
There's an odd separation in the Trio, which is why it mystifies me when people appear to glorify it as the example of all that friendship can be.
Harry prefers Ron to Hermione, Ron prefers Harry to Hermione, Hermione prefers Harry to Ron.
The boys rarely show any interest in Hermione's interests while she appears to adopt theirs, as well as their views, to an extent; but is fairly self-sufficient and insular. The boys show no problem with cutting her out should she mess up whereas she doesn't appear to be able to sustain any anger or even question them for longer than a chapter.
* ...he himself was having difficulty in getting the 'Gryffindor are losers' chant out of his head.
I thought all that pettiness was 'meaningless' to Manly!Harry?
Another puncture in the 'Harry is liek too mature to notice Draco's childish antics' balloon which has sprung up in the last year.
* 'Jupiter's biggest moon is Ganymede, not Callisto,' she said, pointing over Ron's shoulder at a line in his Astronomy essay, 'and it's Io that's got the volcanoes.'
'Thanks,' snarled Ron, scratching out the offending sentences.
'Sorry, I only -'
'Yeah, well, if you've just come over here to criticise -'
If I were Ron I'd be grateful that Hermione caved (although it was obvious she would, as she always does.)
* I must admit that I have always been afraid that you would take what we might call the 'Fred and George' route, rather than following in my footsteps, so you can imagine my feelings on hearing you have stopped flouting authority and have decided to shoulder some real responsibility.
But I want to give you more than congratulations, Ron, I want to give you some advice, which is why I am sending this at night rather than by the usual morning post. Hopefully, you will be able to read this away from prying eyes and avoid awkward questions.
I <3 Percy. I know the letter's pompous and stuffy, but I think it shows real concern from Percy for his brother (he's pleased enough for him that he's contacting family, he worries over him and his choices) and he makes several inarguably valid points.
For instance, Ron does appear torn between the two types in his family: cool joker and authoritarian leader.
Bill and Charlie appear to have managed both, but then where the twins have perhaps rebelled by rejecting authority, Bill and Charlie have by leaving the country altogether, and taking on jobs that are physically dangerous (cause they're so Brave, also.)
Percy's also picked up that Harry will be present when Ron reads the letter, and that this is something to avoid because Ron's opinion of Harry is higher than of likely anyone else, and it would be 'awkward' (as Harry recognises shortly.)
* I must tell you, Ron, that nothing could put you in danger of losing your badge more than continued fraternisation with that boy.
Actually, I'd go as far as saying nothing puts Ron in more danger of losing his life more than his friendship with Harry and that if he does die, it will likely be for Harry.
Will Ron die?
Mind you, Percy seems unaware of how malicious Ron (and Ginny - wasn't she Percy's favourite in CoS? And yet she's most definitely followed 'the Fred and George' route.) can be. Although Ron's worst displays of temper are usually when Harry is present, and they even work together at times (the train hexings at the end of GoF, for example.)
* ...no doubt you will say that Potter has always been Dumbledore's favourite...
OMG! Percy’s The Evil! Only the Malfoys say things like that. The politest thing to do is pretend that Dumbledore is completely fair and unbiased while at the same time reassuring Harry that of course Dumbledore likes him best of all.
* I feel bound to tell you that Dumbledore may not be in charge at Hogwarts much longer and the people who count have a very different - and probably more accurate - view of Potter's behaviour. I shall say no more here, but if you look at the Daily Prophet tomorrow you will get a good idea of the way the wind is blowing - and see if you can spot yours truly!
OMG! Teh snobbery!11: 'the people who count'. (Of course the Trio and Order considering Dumbledore to be rightful King of the World and everyone else so much cannon fodder isn't the same.) And teh ambition and following!11: 'the way the wind is blowing'.
Actually, Percy's making a bit of a sacrifice here in feeling 'bound' to warn Ron, even telling him classified information such as what's going to be in the papers, which only government officials such as him are aware of.
Because that doesn't fit in with his code of ethics at all. (Although Percy always seems to be struggling with the same cultural bias as the rest, wherein he doesn't really fit the Gryffindor pattern yet feels he should, so he does things like take points from family and friends which is looked down upon although fair; and yet almost apologises for it (I remember in CoS something along the lines of Harry and Malfoy acting up, in which he immediately warns Malfoy and then says 'I'll have to take points for this, Harry!')
* Potter had a disciplinary hearing this summer in front of the whole Wizengamot and he did not come out of it looking too good. He got off on a mere technicality, if you ask me, and many of the people I've spoken to remain convinced of his guilt.
It may be that you are afraid to sever ties with Potter - I know that he can be unbalanced and, for all I know, violent - but if you have any worries about this, or have spotted anything else in Potter's behaviour that is troubling you...
Again, none of this is particularly charitable towards Harry, but none of it is untrue, as far as I can tell. Harry has a history of violence and unstable behaviour (in fact the worst of it occurs after the letter, so either he's living down to people's expectations or Percy's a perceptive predicter.); and he 'got off' despite having committed the crime he was charged with.
Also, in the one fight Harry and Ron had, it was Harry who attacked physically, if memory serves me correctly. Not much of an assault - throwing a badge at someone's head - but it doesn't exactly help his case.
* As I have hinted above, Dumbledore's regime at Hogwarts may soon be over.
Regime? Heh. ((((Percy))))
* I shall say only this - a student who shows himself willing to help Professor Umbridge now may be very well-placed for Head Boyship in a couple of years!
Cross your fingers for Draco Malfoy, then.
* I am sorry that I was unable to see more of you over the summer. It pains me to criticise our parents, but I am afraid I can no longer live under their roof while they remain mixed up with the dangerous crowd around Dumbledore. (If you are writing to Mother at any point, you might tell her that a certain Sturgis Podmore, who is a great friend of Dumbledore's, has recently been sent to Azkaban for trespass at the Ministry. Perhaps that will open their eyes to the kind of petty criminals with whom they are currently rubbing shoulders.)
Percy also uses formal language such as 'Mother' - more signs of Teh Badness. Someone mentioned once that it appears he has slightly Oedipal issues about Molly, who appeared to consider him the favourite until now. Interesting he singles her out as the parent he wishes information to be passed on to.
Odd approach we have to law here - Percy, Malfoy and Umbridge as our baddies representing bureaucracy, toeing the line, misinterpreting the spirit of rules by adhering to the very letter; and on our heroes side we have 'Who needs the rules? Follow your heart!' Admirable sentiments, except there appears to be almost no understanding on this side either, of the different degrees of justice.
To Umbridge, there's no difference between breaking a minor regulation and a major one: it's all the same. Of course, breaking rules is alright by her as long as she is the one doing the breaking, because she is the authority.
And yet, that's not so different from the Trio or the DA or the Order's approach: that all laws are unimportant, petty and bureaucratic (their reaction to the theory based lessons featuring *da da dum* magical law); that laws are only useful if they personally benefit one (like Umbridge they're not above using rules for their own purposes - McGonagall and Dumbledore's rewards of traditional school trophies by wielding their own personal authority and subverting the spirit of the competitions; Dumbledore's knowledge of judiciary process and willingness to work with criminals since it benefits his cause); that there's no difference between skipping homework and attacking fellow human beings (I love the post-Quidditch scene when the Gryffindors are discussing the Twins and Harry's punishments and being completely confused as to why Crabbe didn't recieve an identical punishment for a different offence.) that intent is more important than behaviour (or similiarly, that feelings are more important than intellect.) and the idea that intent is as easily determined as you are Good, hence you will always be Good and any behaviour that doesn't fit your determined ideals (how many times in these books is a negatively portrayed character 'punished' for a trait or behaviour we're expected to cheer on in a 'goodie'?) isn't being Bad, it's a Good Kid making a mistake.
* I do hope, Ron, that you will not allow family ties to blind you to the misguided nature of our parents' beliefs and actions, either. I sincerely hope that, in time, they will realise how mistaken they were and I shall, of course, be ready to accept a full apology when that day comes.
Ha! Percy wants exactly what the Order and Harry wants: grovelling apologies on hands and knees.
Somehow I see him giving rather than recieving them, considering how these books are going so far; but I'd like to see fault admitted on both sides of the divide.
And of course, Ron is allowing 'family ties to blind' him, since he's never given any indication whatsoever of questioning or even considering a view by himself, instead constantly parroting either Harry or Arthur. If he appear to have thought them over and agreed with his best friend/father, that's one thing; but he doesn't seem to be an independent thinker at all.
* 'What you can say is, "We promise we'll never leave our homework this late again,"' she said, holding out both hands for their essays, but she looked slightly amused all the same.
I think she quite likes them relying on her. Makes her feel important, clever, and leads to Ron flattering her shamelessly.
* He had known Percy for four years, had stayed in his house during the summer holidays, shared a tent with him during the Quidditch World Cup, had even been awarded full marks by him in the second task of the Triwizard Tournament last year, yet now, Percy thought him unbalanced and possibly violent.
OMG why would someone think I'm violent? Just cause I'm occasionally physically aggressive and have been known to attack people!
And more of of the 'Why isn't Percy loyal to meee even though I always disliked him and laughed at him?'
I don't see Harry defending Percy to his family over his argument with Arthur on the grounds that they shared a tent once and had known each other so very long, so why on earth should that lead to Percy having faith in Harry? Clearly because people owe more to Harry than he owes to them, since he is Most Important.
* 'Harry, yours is OK except for this bit at the end, I think you must have misheard Professor Sinistra, Europa's covered in ice, not mice - ’
Wow. Ron and Harry seem to lack even the most basic reading comprehension skills. I mean, seriously, we can’t all be Hermione’s and god knows I was never particularly skilled academically, but jesus.
Actually, although Ron made more mistakes, I'd be a little more worried about Harry's intellect here - confusing planets is understandable. Not seeing why a planet is likely covered with 'ice' over 'mice'? Jeepers.
Notice that Harry's work is much better than Ron's, though?
Harry's extremely clever, and if he applied himself could probably outdo Hermione, especially since he's much more imaginative and uses his instincts and heart. He doesn't need to study to pass exams because he's naturally gifted, and if he fails it's someone else's fault.
* 'But, Sirius, this is taking an awful risk -' Hermione began.
'You sound like Molly,' said Sirius.
Ooh, burn. Silly women, always worrying about petty shite like security and risks. Why can't they allow their men to be heroes and just stay at home quietly knitting?
They get all uppity and sooner or later they want to be Headteacher and DADA teacher; and of course, fuck that up.
* At the mention of Harry's letter, Hermione and Ron both turned to stare at him. 'You didn't say you'd written to Sirius!' said Hermione accusingly.
‘I forgot,' said Harry.
“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies,” says Fred to Hermione in response to her questioning regarding their sudden wealth, and both Tonks and Hermione engage in lines of questioning that Harry either evades or stops completely.
When the female questioners are stopped by men, they are stopped without protest; they have neither the right to reply nor the capacity or willingness to question the secrets of men.
This is contrasted against Harry and Ron’s reaction to Hermione when she makes a sudden realisation and leaves without telling them: Ron indignantly asks “if it would kill her to tell us what she’s up to for once?”
This is the same Hermione who has spent the entirety of the book explaining things to Harry and Ron, who both conceal secrets from her and do so unchallenged.
When Harry forgets to inform his friends that he wrote to Sirius, neither criticise him. Men are allowed their ignorance as knowledge is their power.
Harry frequently disregards her advice, and when it runs contrary to both his and Ron’s interests, they shut her out completely - something that Hermione never does, either because she is reluctant or because she cannot.
* 'No, it was very good,' said Sirius, smiling.
Considering Sirius' idea of espionage was 'I'll disguise myself as a dog! No-one could ever guess my secret identity, and if they do? Eh.', I wouldn't be too flattered.
* 'Yeah, and Dumbledore said it happened whenever Voldemort was feeling a powerful emotion,' said Harry, ignoring, as usual, Ron and Hermione's winces.
Huh? Why does Hermione wince? She's Muggleborn. And look how kewl Harry is, he doesn't care how much it bothers people! They'll just have to learn to be more like him (and Dumbledore, of course) and ignore it.
* 'She's foul enough to be one,' said Harry darkly, and Ron and Hermione nodded vigorously in agreement.
What exact traits does Umbridge possess that qualify her as evil?
Cause if it's sadism or wanting knowledge restricted, look no further than Miss Granger. If it's being a rubbish teacher, may I present one Rubeus Hagrid, with a side order of Mad Eye Moody in the cruel punishments division? And of course, her lack of patience and aggression towards those who dare question her is a lovely parallel with Harry.
* 'Yes, but the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters,' said Sirius with a wry smile.
Ironic, from Sirius 'I knooooow Snape is still evil because I never liked him and now he gets to go out while I stay in with my languishing beauty, former riches and memories of my popular friends' Black.
Bit like the 'You can tell a man by how he treats his servants' quote.
* 'I know she's a nasty piece of work, though - you should hear Remus talk about her.'
'Does Lupin know her?' asked Harry quickly, remembering Umbridge's comments about dangerous half-breeds during her first lesson.
'No,' said Sirius, 'but she drafted a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job.'
Harry remembered how much shabbier Lupin looked these days and his dislike of Umbridge deepened even further.
'What's she got against werewolves?" said Hermione angrily.
Notice Harry refers to Remus only as ‘Lupin’ or even ‘Professor Lupin’. Not Second!God!Daddy and Role!Model. Yet. *dreads HBP*
Wow, Umbridge is a real power-crazed bitch. If she really wanted to do some good she’d just break the laws of her own department and conduct raids on the homes of people she doesn't like.
And what's with the OMG how can someone dislike werewolves bit?
Did Hermione have some parallel universe raising before Hogwarts in which she believed werewolves were cuddlesome fluffballs rather than the vicious fictional monsters most people think of them as?
Or is it just a sign of how openminded she is - despite being brought up with them as horror story filler, she calmly and rationally assesses the one she knows and then applies him as the standard for all of them?
I think an excellent reason to fear and dislike werewolves is that once a month they want to kill people. Is that wrong? Jeepers, there's some clash of PC versus non PC attitudes in these books. (Umbridge and the Ministry's attempt to improve teaching standards being greeted with horror because of traditionalist staff and students wanting things to be kept the same; the whole Buckbeak thing which could have come out of the Daily Mail, the Gryffindor macho 'might is right' 'emotions are silly' 'books and cleverness mean nothing next to physical bravery' 'contempt for the weak' mindset versus being PC is encouraged when it's a 'good' character being harmed (how can anybody possibly judge Hermione and Lupin by their bloodlines?!)
* 'Trained in combat!' repeated Harry incredulously. 'What does he think we're doing here, forming some sort of wizard army?'
‘That's exactly what he thinks you're doing,' said Sirius, 'or, rather, that's exactly what he's afraid Dumbledore's doing - forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry of Magic.'
There was a pause at this, then Ron said, ‘That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard, including all the stuff that Luna Lovegood comes out with.’
Oh, I agree! What an entirely lame idea for a plot... Yeah.
And of course, crazy stupid paranoid old Fudge who’s suspicions are exactly on the mark in this case.
* 'So we're being prevented from learning Defence Against the Dark Arts because Fudge is scared we'll use spells against the Ministry?' said Hermione, looking furious.
'Yep,' said Sirius. 'Fudge thinks Dumbledore will stop at nothing to seize power.’
How dare Fudge not want teenagers hexing the government? OPPRESSION, OPPRESSION! Everyone knows if he was as cool as Dumbledore he’d let them be taught Dark Arts (with a nice name so they could still feel superior to those nasty Russians) and then they could make their own decisions about whether or not they were going to hex/beat/use Unforgiveables on others. And if they all chose to? Ah well, it would serve Fudge et al right for being so like totally mean and stuff!11
And Dumbledore has no interest in power! Sure, he’s constantly exerting his own and until recently was in charge of half the WW’s influencial law-drafting committees, but still! He’s not ambitious or anything yucky like that!
* 'You're less like your father than I thought,' he said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. The risk would've been what made it fun for James.'
I love that it's great for everyone to compare Harry and James when we thought he was a perfect saint, but now that we find out he wasn't; it turns out that Harry is nothing like him whatsoever! He's much more like the real hero, Lily. And if Lily gets revealed to be human, I guess we'll discover that in actual fact, Harry is more like Godric Gryffindor or Dumbledore.
And, maybe James loving risk and danger so much contributed to him being dead in his early twenties, Genius?
Plus Harry takes insane risks all the time. It's just Sirius is never there to see them, yet somehow thinks he's a 'responsible godfather'.