(no subject)
i am in rochester. i have been waiting to be here for what feels like months, and i am already unsure how i feel about it. last night was kind of emotional for some strange reason. i talked to my mom about family things that are fucked up/make no sense. we talked about my aunt for the first time in a while, and my grandpa, and between the two of us i think we felt enough hurt for the whole world to know never to mess up their relationships with people they love. if only that were true.
today i am going to decorate our christmas tree, probably alone. thats not how i wanted it to go, but i am excited anyway.
i am only going to be here for a week, but right now that feels like eternity. i want to see as many people as i can, gets as many hugs as possible, and never let go of some people.
there is too much to do.
the drive to rochester last night was terrifying and beautiful. there was an accident of 3 cars and a gigantic truck which required helicopters and sitting in traffic for an hour. it made me so scared about my friends dying for some reason that i thought about how destroyed i would be if that happened. i cant help but think i would like to wrangle up everyone i love into one room and keep them there forever. safe. but still it would not work.
i need to see people and be excited and happy, not worried and emotional.
today i am going to decorate our christmas tree, probably alone. thats not how i wanted it to go, but i am excited anyway.
i am only going to be here for a week, but right now that feels like eternity. i want to see as many people as i can, gets as many hugs as possible, and never let go of some people.
there is too much to do.
the drive to rochester last night was terrifying and beautiful. there was an accident of 3 cars and a gigantic truck which required helicopters and sitting in traffic for an hour. it made me so scared about my friends dying for some reason that i thought about how destroyed i would be if that happened. i cant help but think i would like to wrangle up everyone i love into one room and keep them there forever. safe. but still it would not work.
i need to see people and be excited and happy, not worried and emotional.