The Worst Possible (Non) Ending for Nahiri
We finally got the end to Nahiri's story arc this morning. And, of all the outcomes I had envisioned both realistic and fanciful, it was the worst possible outcome: No, she obviously didn't get a good ending, saving herself or being saved from her Phyrexian state. They didn't even have the basic decency to kill her off and bring closure both to us and to her. They didn't even leave her alive as a Phyrexian on the loose. They defeated her-oh, and by the way, "they" was a fuggin' D&D adventure group-trapped her in a stone prison (for the second time in her life), and left her both in a Phyrexian state but also trapped, helpless, and alive.
Not only was this a bad story, but it was badly written, and unbearably boring. When the Magic stories are this bad I just gloss over them, but of course this is the one I've been waiting months for so I had to get through it. They brought back the same horrible writer of the Zendikar Rising main stories, who fucked Nahiri over last time, to give her one final screw before Nahiri goes into cold storage for the foreseeable future.
Of course, I foresaw all of this. I had zero confidence in Wizards' ability to handle it well. So, last night, I went and reread my own partially complete Nahiri story, the one I composed in the summer of 2017, right before the worst and final season of the Troubles came upon me. Good golly, the difference is night and day. That was good writing. Needs some work, but I'm still proud of it today. These two Nahiris are not the same character.
It was the horrible writing in Zendikar Rising that made me realize that the Golden Age of Magic storytelling was over, and that there was nothing there for me anymore. And, sure enough, I stopped reading the story after that. I came back for this Phyrexian arc because right up front they had put Nahiri on a list of ten Planeswalkers, half of whom would be compleated (i.e., turned into a Phyrexian; if you don't know what that is, think the Borg). So I had to read. And of course she was one of the ones who got compleated. And, now, we get her conclusion. Except it's not a conclusion at all.
Let me tell you: This whole, insulting, drawn-out ordeal has done naught but reaffirm in spades and droves that I am done with the Magic story. This is the proverbial point when the alcoholic sitting at the bar realizes that the alcohol is not gonna take itself away; the alcoholic is going to have to get up and leave themselves. Nahiri is in cold storage for, what, two, three, five, ten, twenty years? I'm not onboard. I'm not here for it.
I am done. Or, well, I will continue to be done. I knew I was just checking in to see them do Nahiri dirty, and they did, and here we are. I'll check in again with the follow-up in a few weeks, but after that, yeah...back to not being engaged.
Magic: The Gathering had an important role to play in my life in the 2010s. It gave us the characters of Spade and Celithemis. It led me to Loading Ready Run. It was a lot of fun to play with Amy. I'll still surely play the game itself from time to time, but my time with the story is over. It's just far, far too frustrating to spend all this time waiting, only for the payoffs to be so wretchedly underwhelming.
Not only was this a bad story, but it was badly written, and unbearably boring. When the Magic stories are this bad I just gloss over them, but of course this is the one I've been waiting months for so I had to get through it. They brought back the same horrible writer of the Zendikar Rising main stories, who fucked Nahiri over last time, to give her one final screw before Nahiri goes into cold storage for the foreseeable future.
Of course, I foresaw all of this. I had zero confidence in Wizards' ability to handle it well. So, last night, I went and reread my own partially complete Nahiri story, the one I composed in the summer of 2017, right before the worst and final season of the Troubles came upon me. Good golly, the difference is night and day. That was good writing. Needs some work, but I'm still proud of it today. These two Nahiris are not the same character.
It was the horrible writing in Zendikar Rising that made me realize that the Golden Age of Magic storytelling was over, and that there was nothing there for me anymore. And, sure enough, I stopped reading the story after that. I came back for this Phyrexian arc because right up front they had put Nahiri on a list of ten Planeswalkers, half of whom would be compleated (i.e., turned into a Phyrexian; if you don't know what that is, think the Borg). So I had to read. And of course she was one of the ones who got compleated. And, now, we get her conclusion. Except it's not a conclusion at all.
Let me tell you: This whole, insulting, drawn-out ordeal has done naught but reaffirm in spades and droves that I am done with the Magic story. This is the proverbial point when the alcoholic sitting at the bar realizes that the alcohol is not gonna take itself away; the alcoholic is going to have to get up and leave themselves. Nahiri is in cold storage for, what, two, three, five, ten, twenty years? I'm not onboard. I'm not here for it.
I am done. Or, well, I will continue to be done. I knew I was just checking in to see them do Nahiri dirty, and they did, and here we are. I'll check in again with the follow-up in a few weeks, but after that, yeah...back to not being engaged.
Magic: The Gathering had an important role to play in my life in the 2010s. It gave us the characters of Spade and Celithemis. It led me to Loading Ready Run. It was a lot of fun to play with Amy. I'll still surely play the game itself from time to time, but my time with the story is over. It's just far, far too frustrating to spend all this time waiting, only for the payoffs to be so wretchedly underwhelming.