(no subject)
Being with Zee is cool. It has ups and downs. Sometimes she is really selfish. But at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. I don't really care.
I made her come with my mouth. She is so shy about that sort of thing. She tried to contain it but could not. Then she went on all day about how it was the best she's ever had and no one has ever done it like that for her.
All of this sort of thing gets to my head, but I should humble myself and remember that I suck in plenty of ways. But it's nice to know I'm not terrible at everything.
I love Iesha, even though I know that she isn't the best always. I talk to her about once a week, if that, when her boyfriend isn't around. She's recently caught him cheating, and she usually talks to me about how her life is in shambles and she doesn't know what to do and how this boy has ruined her. I genuinely worry about her somehow. I always think, "Shouldn't I be satisfied? I always hoped someone would hurt her just as badly. I even thought that plenty of times." But I don't. I don't think she deserves it. Am I just crazy?
I feel like the only person I can talk to is Stephanie. I feel like the only person who pays attention to LJ anymore is Stephanie. A few people have told me in the past that they check up on me, but it doesn't feel like that. LiveJournal feels dead and lifeless. I can read my friends page in less than half an hour after not looking at it for weeks and weeks and weeks.
But it's the only place I can talk.
It's fun with Zee. It's fun because she's really the only friend I have in real life. All the others are either old friends you never see or old friends in far away places who you also never see. When I move in with her, I won't spend so much time alone.
It started because I was lonely and because her dad has an apartment for us and we get to go on vacations and there is money. But I definitely enjoy her objectively. It might not be head over heels in love or whatever the dumb expression is. But it's definitely nice and I like it.
Except it's irritating sometimes when she is so selfish. Oh well.
I made her come with my mouth. She is so shy about that sort of thing. She tried to contain it but could not. Then she went on all day about how it was the best she's ever had and no one has ever done it like that for her.
All of this sort of thing gets to my head, but I should humble myself and remember that I suck in plenty of ways. But it's nice to know I'm not terrible at everything.
I love Iesha, even though I know that she isn't the best always. I talk to her about once a week, if that, when her boyfriend isn't around. She's recently caught him cheating, and she usually talks to me about how her life is in shambles and she doesn't know what to do and how this boy has ruined her. I genuinely worry about her somehow. I always think, "Shouldn't I be satisfied? I always hoped someone would hurt her just as badly. I even thought that plenty of times." But I don't. I don't think she deserves it. Am I just crazy?
I feel like the only person I can talk to is Stephanie. I feel like the only person who pays attention to LJ anymore is Stephanie. A few people have told me in the past that they check up on me, but it doesn't feel like that. LiveJournal feels dead and lifeless. I can read my friends page in less than half an hour after not looking at it for weeks and weeks and weeks.
But it's the only place I can talk.
It's fun with Zee. It's fun because she's really the only friend I have in real life. All the others are either old friends you never see or old friends in far away places who you also never see. When I move in with her, I won't spend so much time alone.
It started because I was lonely and because her dad has an apartment for us and we get to go on vacations and there is money. But I definitely enjoy her objectively. It might not be head over heels in love or whatever the dumb expression is. But it's definitely nice and I like it.
Except it's irritating sometimes when she is so selfish. Oh well.